


What do we really want ?

by PitchRaven



Category: Eminem (Musician), Machine Gun Kelly (Musician)
Genre: But he is bad at feelings, Colson is very in love, Dom/sub Undertones, Elton John is everyone fairy god mother, Em is a decent human being, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Misogyny, Safe Sane and Consensual, Slow Burn, Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitchRaven/pseuds/PitchRaven
Summary: Since the release of killshot Mgk had been in a pretty dark place, he obsessively read every bad review about his last album, and the absence of his daughter made him lonely and depressed. He try to make things better by attempting to end his beef with Em at the Day N Vegas festival...and screw it if the older rapper mocks him and treat him like a fool. Except he doesn’t…And it is just him or Em is actually really hot ? Wait...wasn't he straight ?
Relationships: Colson Baker | Machine Gun Kelly/Eminem
Comments: 98
Kudos: 129





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there ! This is my first time writting a fiction whith those two, but hey ! Why the hell not ?  
> Sorry if it's porely writted, english is not my first language.  
> Obviously everything here is 100% fiction
> 
>   
> Enjoy

“ - I mean dude ! This diss was a massacre ! I really don't know what i would do if i was MGK i would probably hide myself in a bunker for the next ten years !”  
“Yeah man ! That’s also what i think…” 

Fucking stupid podcast ! 

Kelly nervously paused the video he was looking at. More than six months had passed since the release of “Killshot” an people were still bragging about it. The rapper closed his laptop and took the half smoked cigarette than he left on his hastray, lightening it with shaky hands. He knew that spending all of his free time compulsively watching every stuff talking about him, was by no way healthy but he just couldn’t take this damn diss out of his mind. He stretched his hands and arms in a attempt to calm himself. He will rather die than admitting it but all of this drama was really affecting him. He knew he shouldn't feel bad, he was the one that started all of this, he was the one that tweeted about the underage daughter of Em being “fucking hot”. He was the one that call Em out for years about banning him from Shade 45 while having no evidence of it. He was the one who wrote and perform “Rap Devil”for god sake ! 

Colson blew some smoke, a lump in his throat. He took the bottle of Jack Daniel that was on the floor and drank from it. He never though all of this would take such ridiculous proportions. Heck ! He didn't even though that Em would answer to his diss ! He really thought that it could be a boost for his career, that it would gave him this image of meanie who’s not afraid of the big names of the the industry. But really...all of this just made him look like a fool. He really tried to surf on the clout at first, wearing killshot tee-shirts, acting like he didn't care and was sure that he had won. Going on radios to repeat that Em was just an old, outdated rapper. But none of this was actually true… The more he listen to “Rap devil” the more he realize how weak his point were, especially compared to “Killshot”. This fucking song ! He hated it ! He hated how shitty this made him feel ! He hated to hear that he was nothing but a kid trying to get attention ! He hated that all of those punchline were so good and clever than you really couldn't unless in a deep state of denial, pretend that “Rap devil” was better. He took another sip of whisky. The worst part of this was that the more time passed, the moore every accusation the older rapper had made toward him turned out to be true. He had released “Hotel Diablo” as quick as he could in an attempt to milk the drama and blow but the whole project felt botched and lazy...because it was... there is no way you can make a good album in a couple of months…”unless you're Eminem” he thought.  
He dropped his bottle...booze was not enough and he was too damn nervous !

He went in his kitchen to grab a small box with a few pills in it. He took two xanax and laid on the couch slowly rolling a joint. His career seemed like a dumpster fire...and all of this was his fault ! His vision became blurry has he was holding up tears...fuck ! he was pathetic ! All of this shit was destroying every bit of self esteem he ever had ! 

None of his friends seemed to want to keep in touch with him, when it was not about going to clubs and doing coke. He felt lonely and ridiculous... Why was he so dumb ! Em was one of the artists he respected the most in this mother fucking planet and he had dissed him in a ridiculous attempt to gain fame while ignoring the possibilities of backlash ! Well ! He was having the full experience now ! All he was doing was listening to people trashing about him and reading bad reviews of his album...really his daughter was the only reason he was still trying to deal with all of this shit. Otherwise he would spend the entire fucking day on vicodin, eyes glue at the ceiling. His phone suddenly started to ring, he took it lazely was it his daughter ? 

...Oh ! No it was his manager…“Of course !” since the release of Rap devil this guy was calling him every five second. 

“Hey Colson ! How are you ?” sayed a high pitched voice that sounded nothing but fake.  
“M’Fine” he answered, trying to sound as neutral as his chaotic mood allowed him too.  
“Great ! Listent dude i have a great oportu…”  
“I’m not doing another interview man !” He mumbled angrily...he was way too fucking tired to go through another of those crappy moments were he would be the laughing stock for everyone in the room.  
“It was not for an interview man ! it’s for the Day N Vegas festival ! They are asking if you want to do a performance !”  
Kelly almost choked himself…“What ! Really ? ” He immediately straightened himself, sitting on the couch with concern. Day N Vegas was one of the biggest fucking festivals ! Every big rap name was there ! Christ ! People wanted him there ?  
“Yeah ! J Cole won't make it ! So there is room for other artists and since you recently gained a significant amount of fame...well they asked you !”  
The blond rapper suddenly felt bitter...of course it was for the drama...that's all he was now !  
“Yeah...but...but do they want me to perform Rap Devil ?”  
“Of course dude ! This is your biggest hit !”  
He didn’t knew if this as too doo with the xanax’s he took or the constant reminder that people will never see him as anything more than “the guy who wrote this dumb diss”, but he felt sick and miserable.  
“ Can you...can you tell them i would really prefer not to ?”  
“Dude ! You sure ! This song is dope !”  
“Yeah...really i...i really don’t want to perform this song anymore”  
He could hear his manager sigh in defeat through the phone  
“...Just think about it man ! Day N Vegas is one hell of an opportunity, you only got one shot !”  
Seriously ? His manager was quoting Em ? Fuck...he really was the laughing stock.  
“...Okay...you know what i’m a bit high right now so i will call you latter ok ?”  
“Yeah ! sure man ! latter” His manager immediately hang up. 

Kell’s felt an overwhelming emptiness. He dropped his phone of the flor, laying on the couch again...of course his manager was not going to ask him if he was okay ! Of course he was going to hang up when they would stop having conversation strictly related to business, why was he surprised ? Was he hoping that his manager would care ? Of course not ! Why the fuck was this obvious information making him so sad ? He didn’t care about his well being...no one did ! “Fuck !” He whispered as his eyes were filling with tears, he took another xanax and a few shots of vodka...at least when his was high things looked a bit funny. 

(...)

The alarm was loudly ringing as the man already awake was brushing his teeth while looking at the sun rise through the window. Marshall was so used to his routine that he really didn't need an alarm anymore. Pretty much every morning hah been the same the last couple of month :  
He would wake up at 6:PM run a couple of miles, lift a bit of weight, take a green smoothie with some protein powder, go too his studio, write a couple of verse, work on some beats, order some salmon or chicken salad, maybe call a couple of friends then run again before watching a movie and going to bed. He might go out on the weekend with his daughter’s or play some bowling with a couple of friends, but the rest of the time he was following this clear, strict schedule. It actually worked amazing for him. The man knew since rehab that he needed a lot of boundaries and rules in his life if he wanted to stay sane, all of this felt boring and complicated at first but he learned to really appreciate those calm, organised moments. Beside being so strict in his life allowed him to enjoy touring and concerts to his fullest as it was the most exciting moment of the year. Thinking about it the Day N Vegas festival was soon-to be ! It was great he hadn’t done this one since years ! 

The brunette was ending his third mile on his nordictrack, while watching an episode of American Gods : the last tv show he enthusiastically binged. The episode suddenly stopped, replaced by a call from Dree. He taped on screen slightly annoyed : 

“Why are you calling me this early man !” He said panting heavily.  
“Oh ! I see that you still training for your marathon !”  
“I'm not training for a marathon ! I just like too run for fuck sake !”  
Dree laugh a little “Anyway men ! I just got some fun news and i wanted to shared them with you !” Em snorted, while keeping a steady rhythm on his treadmill  
“Oh yeah ? Your wife found out she his a big lesb and decided to leave your old ass ?”  
“Shut up you fucker ! It’s about the Day N Vegas festival ! You are still going there right ?”  
“ Yup !”  
“Well Guess who is going to replace J cole ?”  
“Please don't tell me it’s 6IX9INE !”  
“Nope ! But almost !”  
“Any of those mumble rapper’s kids with a name starting by lil ?”  
“Nope...but not so far !”  
“Come on dude !” He said angrily, running out of breath, forcing himself to go a bit slower.  
“I pretty sure you remember the kid you recently dissed !”  
The man immediately stopped. “The Fuck ?! They invited Machine Gun Kelly ?”  
“Exactly ! I was also surprised... i mean they know you are going to be there !”  
Em tried to catch his breath while doing his very best to not get angry.  
“Fuck ! I’m pretty sure they want to film some beef !”  
“ Can’t find another reason for them too bring the kid there !”  
“ Fuck ! this little fucker…”  
“You know i’m pretty sure we can pressure the crew so they don't let this piece of shit go there !” 

Although Marshall found the idea pretty fun he was not sure this was the smartest move. He for sur won't be able to pretend that he didn’t care if he used his power and fame too ban the man from a festival…

“Yeah...let’s not do that man…”  
“You sure ? it’s not like anyone is going too miss him there !”  
“Oh come on ! The kid is not Jessie Reyez but he is a decent rapper ! Besides i already finished him ! It’s not like i will be forced to shake his hand or whatever”  
Dree laugh a little. “ So what should we do ?”  
“Nothing...we are not going to do anything, i’m going to nailed this mother fucking festival while ignoring this lil bitch !”  
“You are no fun…” Em could hear the disappointment of Dree through the speakers, the poor man was probably bored and looking for distractions.  
“Maybe you should run too old man instead of stuffing cheetos in your mouth while searching for some drama...or fuck your wife for once…”  
Dree laugh again, much harder this time.  
“Eat shit man ! keep running on your damn treadmill and eat shit !”  
The brunette started running again, amused.  
“Sure ! Il Do that !” 

A bit later during the day he tried to write some verses...but nothing particularly great came to his mind, all he could think of was this damn blond toothpick. Crap ! Why was he this bothered...it’s not like he never had a beef with anyone else ! He left is notebook on the table and picked his phone. If he was not able to concentrate he might at least try to have a good time with some friends. He search in his contact somebody to call…

"Joyner the Looser" Gary was probably busy...

"You own me 50 cent" Curtis too...

"My baby Girl" Hailie was probably at work...

"Kim" he really didn’t feel like talking too Kim…

"Mother Elton Fucking John" Oh...it’s been a while since he last talk to the dude...he tap on his phone before sliding it under under the hood of his sweatshirt. 

“Marshall ! You Gorgeous thing ! How are you !”  
He smiled a little, Elton was the only guy he would ever let him call “gorgeous”.  
“Hey ! Old Cunt ! I’m good ! How are you ? ”  
“ I've been doing fantastic actually ! i’m working on the production of Rocketman, we are picking the “child me”, the “teen me” and the “me...me”  
“Maybe i could be the one who play the you...you”  
Elton laugh. “My darling...i really love you but there is no way you would look good in a rainbow suit.”  
Marshall tried to imagine himself in one of the crazy outfits Elton would wear...it was painful !  
“How dare you ! I can look good in any outfit ! I could rock out with my cock out! "  
Oh… that was a funny rhyme…  
"I'm sure you could honey, i'm sure you could… and you ! Tell me about you ! How are you ? The last time we talk you were dating this nice lad ! What was her name… Susan ?" The younger man rolled his eyes… here we go again…  
"I was not dating her man ! It was just something casual… you know like pretty much every " nice lady" i've been with for the past ten years. "  
Elton sigh in defeat. "I know. . . It's just… I would really like to see you happy… "  
Shit… The man was such a drama queen.  
"I'm happy ! I have plenty of good friends ! Including you !"  
"Oww… but my darling… having friends it's not the same as falling asleep next to someone you love. "  
Marshall let himself fall on his chair, feets on the table.  
"Man, not every dude is made for love… some are more the "i appreciate the space on my bed" type… now please stop acting like a damn jewish mother every time i call you!" Elton laugh again. "I'm not à Jewish mother ! I'm an old fairy queen !“ Em smirked, amused by his friend sillyness " Your are the greatest one !" He knew the dude was smiling behind his phone ! "Obviously darling ! "


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to suggest me some ideas ! i have a global plan about what is going to happen, but i’m open to anything ;) Also some people asked me if this was a story about Em raping or blackmailing Kell’s. It’s not, i wanted to take the counter side, and write something with people being decent and respectful towards each other and having a healthy relationship. So this is what this story is going to be about (but Em will be Em don't you guys worry ! )

"Ready man ? “

Colson was barely listening. Actually he was so anxious that breathing became an hard task. After the call of his manager, five xanax, several shots,and some coke he agreed to perform for the Day n Vegas festival. Cause what better time to take a career changing decision, than the moment you're so damn high you can heaven remember your own name ? 

It’s not like anything could go wrong ? It’s not like everyone was waiting for him to perform "Rap devil", knowing that fucking Eminem was the one who would close the Festival ? His life was over...it was beyond over...he was buried ! How on earth was he supposed to survive ? Em was going to kill him and if not the audience will ! 

He could already picture shitty youtube videos poorly filmed titled “MGK humiliate himself performing Rap Devil”. Crap...pretty sure that he will spend the next three weeks binge watching them, mouth full of pills and vodka...speaking of which…

He grabbed the little box that was laying on the table, not daring to look himself in the large mirror in front of it. He sure was already feeling bad enough, the last thing he needed was his own reflection telling him how much he sucked. He swallowed some codeine and three valium : That should make him numb enough,while keeping him able to stand on his two feets…

“I’m talking to you !” 

Oh...it’s true...his manager was there…  
“Yeah sorry i wasn’t really listening…”  
“ I can see that !” He said pointing the box full of pills with a cynical glaire.  
“Just make sure to not be high to the point you can’t sing anymore ! I’m going to make sure the sound check is going weell and i’ll pick you up in 30 minutes okay ?”  
He sat in a corner of the room fixing the basket of fruits on the table.  
“Sure…” 

And like this the man left. Does every manager act like that ? It’s not like Kell’s was very good at hiding his feelings and he had being doing nothing but panic attacks and insomnias the past two days...even if Dan was not his best friend shouldn’t he be a tiny bit concerned about that ? He just took tons of pills in front of him ! All he had was a “i can see that !” At this point he was pretty sure that he could make an overdose and die and the man would not care that much, he would just take a picture of his dead body a give it to the media. 

He pressed his head again’ts the wall trying to cool himself...it was just a three minute song…that’s all he had to do ! Go on stage...say hello, perform a couple of song and end with rap devil...it was just three little minutes on a hour long show. He could do that ! He grabbed is phone, he was used to call his daughter before every show it always help him cope with the stress. He was going to tap his number when he suddenly started to feel really dizzy. Fuck...he wasn’t reacting very well to the pills. His head suddenly hurt really bad and his entire body felt heavy. It was not the first time those kinda thing happened, usually all he had to do was wait a couple of minutes before the pain went away. But in those moments he always felt shameful, a shame that would stick to his skin for hours, sometimes days... 

He dropped his phone, he didn’t deserve to call his daughter. Not when he was this high ! Not when he was on the way to publicly embarrassed himself and probably get punched on the face by Em. Fuck ! Casie will probably wonder why her dad won’t call her ! He was going to disappoint the one person that he never ever wish to disappoint ! As panic started to slowly leave his body and the feeling of floating became more and more persistent he lighted a cigarette trying to distract himself from all of his nasty thoughts. He was fine, he was fine, he was fine...He choked himself, cauphing loudly, smoke burning his throat. No he was fucking not...he was to damn high to call his own daughter, while getting ready to perform a song he didn't want to perform, trashing about the artist that inspire him the most, all of that so people could brag about it and make fun of him. It was ridiculous, it was humiliating and it made him feel like a mother fucking clown ! 

“Youre ready this time ?” 

It’s been thirty minutes already ? Damn…“I...i don't think i’m gonna make it bro…” Dan immediately frown, looking at him with concern “What are you talking about ! You’r perfectly fine !” “I’m far for fucking fine !” He yelled, full of that anger that keep growing for weeks. “I’m this close to do a bad trip and the last thing i want is going on that mother fucking stage ! Rapping about how better than Em i am so that people make perfectly sure that i would be reminded every day of my life than i’m not !”  
The man in front of him keep frowning, clenching his teeth a little. “What are you talking about ! Rap Devil is a great song and people love it !”  
“Well i don't ! I don't want to be knowned for this fucking song okay ! it’s a shitty stuff made in two days ! I can...i can rap better than this ! I’m...i’m…”  
I’m better than this…

He didn’t say it, but it was so loud on his head, that he could swear Dan heared it. “Stop acting like a spoiled brat !” This time he sounded really irritated. “There is tons of musicians out there that would dream to have the same opportunities as you ! This could be make you really big ! And yet here you are whining about not wanting to perform a damn song ! Think about your daughter for Christ sake ! Don't you want her to have a nice future ?” 

Suddenly everything turned white, his ears were loudly ringing, he felt that his body didn’t belong to him anymore. He stood up and grabbed Dan by the shirt, lifting him eyes full of rage. “Don't you dare talk about my daughter ! Don't you dare use her !” His manager suddenly looked frightened. “I’m...i’m not using you’r…”  
“SHUT THE FUCK UP !” His mind was completely blank, he had no idea were he was anymore, he just felt this overwhelming anger, so strongly that he almost thought there was fire under his skin. “You think i’m that dumb ! You think i don't know that all this shit is good for you ? You think that i don't know that you just want to make money with my name even if it mean filming my fucking corpse !” He almost choked the man in front of him, his vision was blurry...fuck...he was crying...crying in front of this guy !  
“That’s...that’s not true, i mean...dude...come on ! What are you going to do anyway ? You signed for this ! 

Colson dropped the man, letting him fall loudly on the floor. He quickly wipe his eyes, trying to cool down a little. “So what ? Somebody is going to arrest me if i don't go on this stage ?” Dan looked at him, knees shaking, eyes dark. “Dude...if...if you don't go on stage, you're career would be over ! Everyone is going to talk about the fact that you didn't show up ! You won't be able to go to other festivals ! People won't invite you !” 

Shit...the man had a point. If he didn't go on stage it would mean that all of this ridiculous beef was for nothing...he taught about his daughter...the fear he had of not being able to give her a good life. Fuck ! Dan knew about this fear ! And he tried to use it against him ! But Cassie was safe he taught...and he had enough money to support her for everything she will ever need. “Oh yeah ? Well maybe i don't want to be invited if i’m only knowned as the guy who provoked one of the greatest rappers alive !” 

Dan stood up and smirked “ Too late for that ! Now stop being a bitch and get yourself ready to go on that stage !” Kell’s looked at him...He never realized how small the man actually was...his breath slowly became more and more regular...he could take another pill and go on stage…But no one was forcing him...his daughter would still be safe, he would still be safe...he didn't have to let his anxiety speak for him.

“Fuck you Dan ! Fuck you ! I’m done with this shit !”  
He walked through the exit door, a strange feeling of relief bulging inside him.  
“Wait...dude ! what are you doing !” Kells stared at him then smiled a little. “Can’t you see ? I’m leaving !” Suddenly the man was all red, his jaw dropped and his eyes were wide open. “Wh...what ? ...What are you talking about...you dissed Eminem ! You can't really go back ! What are you going to do ? Apologize ?” Fuck...He knew that Dan was being sarcastic but...but the idea wasn’t so stupid. “What if i do ?” 

And with that he leave, he could vaguely hear his soon to be ex-manager scream and shout at him, but everything seems blurry, he kept walking almost on autopilot. Since he took the exit door, there were no paparazzis or journalists looking after him. He knew Eminem loge was on the third floor...to make sure no one would spot him, he took the staff stairs. Was he really gonna do this ? Was he really on his way to meet the rapper he provoked to fucking apologize ? God...he will laugh at him so bad ! Or punch him...or both...

He inhale deeply. He was not doing this so that Em would think nice things about him !He was doing this for him ! Fuck it if this moment turned out to be the worst of his damn life ! After that he would be free. He could start over again without this excruciating feeling of being a failure, he could go to his daughter and stop thinking that he didn't deserve to be her father...He could do it ! He could do it ! 

“I really didn't thought you would singed this ! Thank you !” 

“ No problem miss ! I’m happy to do it !” 

Marshall arrived a little bit early on his loge, the cleaning lady was still there, not that it bothered him, she actually seemed like a very nice women. Asking him shyly if he could sign a picture of her and her children's. “Thank you so much ! My daughter is such a big fan of you ! She is going to be so happy !” “ Well you can say hello to your daughter for me ! “ The lady smiled, nervously touching her hair. “Would you...would you mind to write something to encourage her, she just started college.” “Sure !” 

“If you don't get good grades this year i’ll be under your bed. “

The old women laughed while reading. “Thank you very much ! Now i’m sure she will have the top grades ! Good luck for your concert mister Eminem.” 

Mister Eminem...why do old people were always so unintentionally cute ? “Thank you lady ! Wish you a good day !” She took her picture then went through the service door, opening it with her badge. 

“Thank god ! I’v was afraid i would have to wait in front of this door for hours ! ”

Shit...who was this voice ? Fuck ! In front of the door there was fucking Machine Gun Kelly ! 

Wasn't he supposed to be on stage in like 10 minutes ? What was he doing here ? The cleaning lady looked at him perplexed. “Is this a friend of you sir ?” Em snorted “No is fucking not ! What are you doing here Kell’s ? Want some juicy drama to film so people don't forget you ? Didn't have enough last time huh ?” The younger men looked at him with shaky hands, nervously avoiding eye contact. “Huh...n...no, i...i mean...i took the service stair so no one would spot me ! But when i arrived here the door was locked…” Even is voice was shaky. 

The old women looked at Marshall with concern. “Should i call security ?” He could hear MGK breathing becoming steadier from there. He looked at him a little.  
The man looked sleep deprived and sad... those enlarged pupils...Em knew those to well, the Kid surely took some pills….

“No it’s okay ! You can leave.” 

The women nodded before taking the stairs, saying goodbye with her hand, while Kells stayed in the entrance, not daring to move. The older man was intrigued.  
“If you're not here to fight what the fuck are you doing ?”. The blond man looked at him in the eyes for a quick second. “I...i just wanted to talk to you...i mean, if you don't mind…” What ? Did the kid just said what he heard ? “Aren’t you supposed to get ready for your show tho ?” “ I’m not doing it…” The fuck ? Why was he ditching a performance at the Day N Vegas ? It was one of the biggest rap festivals ! This could blew his carer ? Wasn’t that what he wanted ? “What are talking about ?” “ People just want me to perform Rap Devil...and i’m not doing this ! I...i don't want to rap that shit, that’s why i wanted to talk to you !”

Holy shit ! Em ran through the service door closing it. The younger man looked at him, not really knowing what to do or say. Marshall sat down pointing the couch to Kell’s, waiting for him to sit on it. Which he slowly did, hands still shaking...damn...he almost felt bad for the dude. “Talk then…” Colson looked at him, biting his lips and forcing himself to maintain the eye contact. “I...i wanted to apologize...i’m sorry about...well everything !” Jesus christ ! He sure didn't expect this ! “I’m sorry about about this ridiculous tweet about your daughter, it was a dumb joke...but there is no excuse to make comment about an underage teen ...i’m...i’m sorry about the snitch disses and i’m...i’m sorry about rap devil, really...i was just trying to milk the drama but i really didn't taught all of this would take such huge proportions . I...i think i really didn't thought you would answer me cause you were so much bigger than me...i’m...i’m sorry…” 

Damn ! Em was this close to ask the kid to punch him in the face, so he could be sure sure that he wasn’t dreaming ! Did the dude that tried so hard to use his name to boost his career just ditch an huge opportunity to fucking apologize ? He stared at him doing his best to hide how confuse he was. The younger man looked nothing but sincere. For a second he thought about making fun of him...

But he immediately put this idea aside. He himself did a lot of stupid things when he was younger and the dude had the balls to come to him to apologize, maybe he was not this shitty kid Marshall thought he was. He kept looking at him, hands shaking...Good he looked so tired.

“Hum...it’s okay man...what you did sure was stupid, but i’m not the most virtuous dude myself...so...yeah apologies accepted.” Colson seemed shocked, he opened his mouth but not sound came out. “I...i...i...r...really ?”  
“Hum...yeah ? I mean you came to me to apologize so...i don't see why i would keep some anger towards you, it’s not like you hurt someone in my family or whatever, you just wrote a diss...and it definitely was not the worst!” Kell's laugh nervously, pressing his head against the palm of his hand.  
“Good...i...i was not expecting this...i really thought that you were going to beat the shit out of me !” Oh ? And he still came knowing that ? Jeez...the man really felt sorry…

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. “Hum...you should get going, otherwise you really won't be able to make it for your show.” Eminem saided clearing his throat. Kells shook his head. “I told you i’m not going...my manager was insisting on me doing rap devil, saying that i would be screwed otherwise, and i couldn’t take it anymore...so i...i kinda just leave.” “You what ?” Okay know he clearly had respect for the kid. “Kid...you really are taking some risks here ! ” Colson took his hands out of his face : there were not shaking anymore as he looked at him, exhausted but determined. “I know...i knew it from the beginning which is why i really hesitated to do it...but this is not the kind of artist i want to be...so...so if this kill my career...then it kills my career...at least i won't feel like a joke anymore.” 

Crap...Em stood up, nervously picking his phone, the kid seemed in a pretty dark place, a dark place he knew well...to well...what the younger rapper was doing was admirable but the punishment was to severe ! The man was at least a decent rapper with nice potential and he didn't deserve to have his career destroyed over a dumb diss. He quickly tap a number and call. 

“Yo Jake ! Yeah i’m going to need you, can you be here in like 5 minutes ? I’ll explain ! Okay thanks !” Kells stood up too, not really knowing what was happening.  
“I called Jake ! He is the chef of my staff team ! He knows everything and everybody here ! You’ll go with him, he will make sure that you can go on stage ! You’ll be a little late be nothing to crazy.” “I...i...i can’t do that...my staff depends on my manager, they will make me sing rap devil.” Em smirked “No they won't ! Just tell Jake the songs you want to perform and he will make sure the staff does as you sayed...and if the festival manager’s are unhappy fuck them ! You're not their toy man !” The younger man started shaking again, looking both shocked and relieved. “You are not a joke dude !” Marshall said. Colson blushed before awkwardly smiling. It’s funny...the man was actually pretty cute…

“W...well...i...i really don't know what to say man...thank you !” Somebody knocked at the door. “This must be Jake ! You should go !” He said opening it. A tall old man waiting for him behind it. Kell’s shyly came to him, he was getting ready to leave, when he looked at Em in the eyes again, except he was much closer this time...it was a nice shade of blue...

“ Wait...how can i thank you ?” “You don't need too ! I really didn't did much !”  
“Man ! Your literally saving my career ! Don't tell me it’s not much ! I know i won't be able to repay you this easily...but...but is there something i can do to prove you how...how grateful i am ? “ Crap ! It was just a phone call ant ten minutes of Jake time ! It was nothing...but since the Kid insisted... “ Well...how about you pay me a drink ? There is nothing like a fresh beer after a concert.” Colson nod, almost aggressively : “Y...yeah...i’ll do that...i’ll super do that...see you later then ?” Marshall smiled a little amused by his enthusiasm “Later man !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone ! Please leave comments and kudos ! They really help me ;3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter ! The one i had the most fun writting so far.  
> You guys enjoy !

“Okay sir...it would be 15 000 dollars please.”

Jeez ! Colson Kinda knew that renting a bar was expensive...but this much ?! It’s not that he couldn't afford it, but spending this amount in one go was none of his habits. He gave his credit card to the waiter a knot in the stomach when he swipe it. Good ! It was a so much money ! But it was the least he could do.

He still couldn’t realize that he really went to see mother fucking Eminem! Pretty sure that this would never happened if he wasn’t high at the moment. And damn ! The man had been...so good to him...he still was shocked. He forgave him right away and made fucking sure he could go on stage ! And the concert went very smoothly actually. He arrived 20 minutes late, which was a lot, but could happen frequently in festivals like those. Feeling much lighter, he made one of his best performance since a while. It felt so good ! To be able to sing again without this feeling of shame. Pretty sure he smiled during the entire show. The same thought running in a loop “I meet Em, i meet Em, I meet Em…”

He knew the man was charismatic, but he really didn’t expect his gaze to be this strong. He struggled to keep eye contact during their entire conversation.  
Although Marshall was smaller, he also was way buffier, wich, since the man always wore baggy clothings wasn’t that noticeable, unless you're next to him.  
Fuck ! He had been next to Em ! Like in the same room ! He knew that this was just his teenage fanboy self talking, but he couldn’t help but smile.  
He never taught in a million years this could happen. He also felt a bit dumb...since the tweet about Hailie and the snitch disses he kept repeating to everyone himself included that he didn’t care about the man, that he was just an old irrelevant recluse weirdo... yet here he was renting a fancy bar for a shit ton of money just to spend half an hour with him. He nervously scratched his head...yeah...maybe his fanboys days weren’t over…

The fact that he missed Em’s part made him kinda bitter, pretty sure he would have loved it ! He sat down on one of the well designed chairs of the bar, picking his phone. Yeah...He would have loved it but he had more importants things to do! Like saying to this human garbage that was Dan that he was fired ! Calling his daughter to reassure her and tell her how much he loved her... aaaaand among others things, searching for a nice bar that he could rent for the night !

“I would like the vesper martini please !” He said to the waiter... Marshall’s head staff told him that he should be free at 11pm...it was 11:30. He took a sip of his (way too expensive) drink. Maybe the older rapper wasn’t going to show off...crap ! He was getting anxious again ! For a quick second he thought of taking pills but he could still feel the effect of the last ones on his system, so he tried to focus on his drink instead. Fuck what could he do !

It’s not like he had Marshall number...Of course the man wouldn't give it to him ! And of course he was not coming ! Why on earth would Eminem, this monument of the rap game want to spend time with the dude who dissed him and made dirty comments about his underage daughter ?! He took another sip.

This is it ! This was his revenge ! The man made him believe that he forgaved him so he could feel very dumb all alone in this bar that he rented for an absurd amount ! He was going to spend the night drinking, feeling like a complete idiot and...

“Hey man !”  
Colson startle on his chair...holy shit ! he was here ! The brunette was standing at the entray, two security guards next to him. He lightly tapped on the shoulder of one.  
“ You guys can go! Grab some chicks !” They both snorted before leaving the bar. “I’m sorry i’m a little latte” The man said sitting next to him “The crowd really insisted on me performing a couple more songs…” He took a quick look at the bar. “But to be fair when i suggested you to offer me a drink i was thinking about one of those festival pub who serve alcohol-free beers in plastic cups, not some fancy underground las vegas bar...i mean Jake told me you just rent this shit ?!” 

Colson looked at him with big eyes, not fully realizing that Em had indeed show up, and that he was now sitting next to him.  
“I...I...I...Yeah ? I mean...i thought it would be nicer if you went in some place where there is not a random stranger coming to you every five seconds...we...can still go somewhere else if you want to…”  
The older man looked at him with a cynical glaire “Yeah sure ! Let’s go grab some warm beer made in a tent full of teenagers making out, obviously better than a fucking privatize bar !”  
The blond rapper laughed a little. “Yeah...i don't think i want to see teenagers exchanging their fluids either…”  
He finished his drink and ordered another one immediately. “I will take the Jack Rose with a touch of whisky please !”  
The server nodded. “And you sir ?” He asked looking at Marshall. The man quickly looked at the cocktail card.  
“I guess i’ll take the virgin bloody mary.” Kelly's scowled, lightly twisting his mouth, wich his eldest noticed.  
“What ? You are ordering a cocktail based on the fucking titanic movie dude !”  
He scratched his head. “Yeah but it’s a very nice cocktail ! You are ordering alcohol free tabasco soup ! With vodka at least there is something worth drinking...but without it’s straight up torture !”  
The waiter put both of their drink in front of them, served in those large, thick crystal glasses that you barely dare to drink from because of how expensive they are. Em snorked. “Well...what can i say, i’m sober and bored...huh ?”  
The younger man looked confuse for a couple of seconds...what was he talking abou...oh yeah...Colson wrote that, he aggressively blushed not really knowing where to hide. “I...i...i never mean that...i mean i don't think.” Marshall interrupted him, amused.  
“It’s okay dude ! You already apologised...besides…” He took a sip of his drink “ Damn i forgot how spicy this shit was...what was i saying again...oh yeah ! Beside, calling me sober is not really an insult, at least not for me... i’m really proud of being clean actually...and man ! Do you know how much money you save when you stop drinking ? My drink is five dollars cheaper than your’s !” 

Was he joking ? It was hard to tell the man had a poker face...it really sounded like a joke...and it was pretty funny actually…God why was he so good damn nervous !  
“Yeah i’m definitely not in a place i’m my life where i see the thrill in not taking anything.” The other man immediately frowned, eyes full of concern.  
“Maybe you should consider it ...you know booze sure does not go well with pills…” Kell’s almost choked himself with his drink.  
“I’m...i’m sorry ?”  
“ Come on man ! Clearly not my business here but i can see when someone is shitfaced ! You were pretty high when you went to see me earlier...probably a mix of valium and vicodin ?” 

Shit ! Was it that obvious ? It wasn’t like he took an absurd amount! He was still able to talk, move and think…  
“I...i wasn’t that high...it was just a couple of pills to cope with the stress.” Marshall seemed skeptic.  
“Did you know how many of us start with a couple of pills to cope with the stress and up stuffing an entire bottle in their mouth ?”  
He didn’t have this problem ! He never stuffed an entire bottle of pills in his mouth...okay maybe he already did half of one...but it wasn’t that much ! And he had drug problems when he was younger so he knew what “real” addiction looked like.  
“Yeah...i know but really i got this under control, i had heroin problems when i was 18 and i really struggle to get through this shit...i never take stuff to the point were i pass out or put myself in danger.”  
Ok...this was clearly not true he had been close to an overdose just five days ago...but it wasn’t that bad, he was just sad and lonely and took a bit too much coke. Really it wasn’t that bad...wasn’t it ?  
“If you say so men...just be sure that it stay that way…” 

There was an uncomfortable silence...Kell’s looked at his empty glass, not daring to make eye contact. “I will take the Negroni bourbon !” Another uncomfortable silence... Em’s keep taking small sips of his (probably terrible) drink.  
“Fuck ! I can’t wait to get back to detroit ! the Vegas weather is the worst !”  
He took his hoodie off, revealing a black top. The blond rapper couldn’t help but take a glimpse. Damn...he was broad and roped with muscles...not the pretty one he used to see at his gym went he was still going there (cause why trying to be healthy and exercise when you can just do coke ?) No those were work muscles, the kind you earned through labor or fight, the kind boxers had. Good ! Now he really, really didn't want to start a fight with the man. Although it was pretty hot...wait ! What ? What did he just thought ? Did he really just...no...no...this was booze ! He could find a tree attractive when he was drunk enough ! The waiter gave him his third drink, he immediately drank half of it, the bourbon burning his throat, while Em looked at him as if...well as if he act weird...wich he fucking was ! 

“I mean...what’s wrong with vegas weather ? It’s permanent summer that’s perfect !” He said trying the distract his brain from the very weird thoughts he was having.  
The older rapper was grinning a bit .“Yeah ! Yeah ! Of course LA boy ! What’s better than a 40 degree day in a city with way to many people and an awful traffic ! ”  
Kell’s laugh. “LA is a very nice city ! You can go to the beach all year around and my daughter really like to swim so it’s perfect !”  
“ Yeah ! You have a daughter ! How old is she ?” Marshall asked, seeming genuinely interested.  
The blond man immediately took his phone searching for (the millions) pictures of his daughter. 

She’s almost ten now !” He said showing the smiling face of his baby girl.  
“She’s cute, my younger one is like...16 now...a 6 years difference isn't that much … but for kid’s...that’s like a world apart”  
Kell’s jiggled,talking about his daughter immediately made him feel more lighthearted.

The conversation between the two went on : they talked (for a very long time) about their daughters and how tough being a poor parent was. Colson talked about really missing her when he was on tour, and being a bit bitter with the idea of not having full custody of her. The older man reassure him ; having a joint custody and parents getting along was usually the best for a child especially when you have to go on tour for months. Then things started to get more trivial : like dealing with their daughters first “boyfriends”or pretending that they really like all the sitthy drawings they made when there were toddlers. Getting along with family...etc. 

Em was actually a pretty chill dude with feets on the ground and head on his shoulders.  
He felt really blessed to have a talk with him like that. The only problem was this thought that came here and there like a parasite : He is really hot…  
Every time it happened he ordered another of those fancy cocktails but the more alcohol he took, the more persistent this thought was. At one point he was all dizzy, eyes glued to the man’s neck...he had a well defined collarbone...and Colson really, really, really like the sound of his voice...and his eyes were a deep blue...it almost hurt to look a them...his jaw was very nice as well...he really didn’t know why he said that his beard was weird...it actually gave him a more matured look that suit him very well...and his mouth...he had a beautiful mouth...he remembered Brittany Murphy saying during a 8 mile interview that he was a very good kisser...he wondered if this was true...Okay stop ! 

He nervously shaked his head. The liquor was clearly getting to his head. He was straight ! Like really straight ! Colson loved big boobs and long hair and big booty's ! He never felt anything for guys… Okay maybe this guy from high school with long black hair...but the man looked like a girl so it didn’t really count ! He was just confused cause the man he admired was in front of him...Okay maybe he had jerked off while listening to his music when he was younger...but it was just a dumb thing that any horny teenager could do ! 

“You okay man ? I can hear you thinking from here !”  
The younger man blushed again, embarassed...fuck ! He was still in front of Em for good sake ! Not the moment to think about dumb shit !  
“Yeah...I’m...i’m really sorry...i think i drank a bit much.”  
Marshall stared at his now empty glass, then the five one’s in front of Colson. He smirked  
“Yeah ! Maybe we you should go...it’s getting late and my security staff is probably getting tired.”  
The waiter hearing them took their glasses away and put the bill on the table.  
The blond rapper took a look...Fuck ! He forgot that those were 30 fucking dollars drinks ! This was going to be is most expensive hangover !  
The older man get a bit closer and looked at the bill...he could feel his breath...it was warm… “I’ll take it ! ”  
He immediately frowned. “Man are you sure ? I was supposed to invite you !”  
The brunette looked at him amused “Yeah invite me for a beer in a festival pub ! Not fancy cocktails in...one of the nicest bars i ever been to ! A bar that you rented ! I can pay for a couple of drinks !” He gave his credit card to the waiter and Kell’s felt a bit shameful considering he had been drinking almost all of it. 

Both men leaved the bar through the staff exit, so they could wait for their cabs discreetly.  
The blond man didn’t knew if this was the liquor but although it was late at night he really didn’t feelt cold..the air was warm and sirupy. Marshall was writing something on his phone. Colson kept looking at him, not really realizing he was. He had such a nice face...his hair were a tiny bit longer than his classic buzzcut...it probably felt good to touch them...Wait what ? Okay that was enough ! He was drunk ! And horny ! Probably because all the sex he had the last couple of month was just mediocre one night stands. That was it ! 

A big black van arrived, the older rapper put his phone on his pocket. “That’s for me !” He lightly tapped on Kell’s shoulder, making the man feeling even more dizzy.  
“Thanks for the drink man...and the conversation ! It was nice !”  
“Yeah ! No...no problem dude ! It was the least i could do !”  
Yeah that was it ! Em was going to take his cab and he will never see the man again, he will go back to his life without feeling like shit and could restart evry…  
“ Hey Marshall ! Wait…” Fuck ! What was he doing ? “I...hum...next month i’m on tour, and i have a concert in Detroit...so maybe...if you want us to meet again...i mean…”  
God ! Why couldn’t he shut up ?! Of course the man didn’t want to mee…  
“Sure dude ! Why not ! Beside I haven’t listen to a lot of your shit so it will be a nice occasion !”  
Wait what ! Did he really just said what he heard...Em wanted to listen to his work ? Like HIS work ?! Oh my god he was screwed...and happy, and excited, and drunk !  
“...O...Okay...see you later then ?” Did he sounded normal ? With all the things going in his head he really didn’t knew… The older man looked at him in the eyes...Kell’s almost stopped breathing.  
“Later Colson !”  
And with that he left. Good ! It felt like he was floating. 

His cab arrived a couple of minutes latter. He kept a dumb smile during the entire ride. He couldn't remember the last time he had such a nice evening. Christ ! He had to call his daughter tomorrow, she would probably be shocked that his dad had a drink (or five) with Marshall fucking Matters ! ...And he was very hot ! He pressed his head against the window. Not those thoughts again ! He took the water bottle on the backseat and drank from it. He had a long day, he took a lot of shit and went to a loot of differents emotional states. Tomorrow everything will be better ! And he will be straight again...whatever the hell that means ! 

Marshall let himself fall on the bed of his hotel room. Crap he was tired ! The concert went on for much longer that what he expected. And this kid ! He sure wasn’t expecting that ! But he actually had a very good time. When was the last time he went to a fucking privatize bar ? Haillie wasn’t 14 at the time ! Beside...Colson was actually really nice to be with, he clearly wasn’t the dumb, immature rapper he thought he was. The man clearly had a lot of anxiety and didn’t seemed to cope with it in a healthy way, but it really reminded him his old behaviour when he was is age...him but...cuter...and with nicer outfits...and an adorable smile he never had and let’s be honest never will. He picked his phone. He had to call Dree.

A raspy voice answered, sounding slightly annoyed.  
“Man ! It’s almost 3 in the morning !”  
“ Yeah ! Well i wouldn't have call you at 3am if you answered your fucking phone ! I've tried to call you like seven times today !”  
“Well i hope that Scarlett Johansson sucked your dick ! It would be the only valuable reason for you to call me this many times !”  
The rapper laugh a bit “No Scarlett Johansson didn’t sucked my dick...but something equally surrealistic happened ! Like...that kid ! MGK he fucking went too see me !”  
Dree immediately sounded more enthousiast.  
“Oh yeah ! Did you guys fought ? Please tell me his nose his broken !”  
Marshall rolled his eyes, Dree really needed to find a new distraction. “No we didn’t fought ! The man actually came to apologize to me ! “  
“ What ? Like a real apology ? Like in front of you ?”  
“Like a real apology in front of me yeah ! He did that like...right before his show, the man was clearly planning no to go regardless of the consequences this shit could have ! He told me he didn’t want to be that kind of artist and shita...and there were no cameras or anything so...yeah...it was weird…”  
“Man...you mean the bitch tried to come clean ?” He asked, still amused.  
“Yup i thought about making fun of him but the poor kid looked wrecked and really sincere so it would have been a shitty move...and like did you know what he did after ?” “Nope ! He wanted to buy me a drink to thank me or whatever... the dude rented an entire fucking bar...like one of those high end bar you see in James Bond movies !”  
Dree laugh, pretty hard. “Men ! That’s fucking weird ! Nobody has ever rented a James Bond bar for me ! Not even my wife !”  
“ That’s because your wife is a lesb who doesn’t love you dude !”  
“Oh shut up !” Dree keep laughing ! “You know what ! I have a theory...two actually ! Either he want to fuck your daughter so he is playing nice with you…”  
Marshall interrupted him “Leave Hailie alone man !”  
“...Let me finish ! Let me finish ! Either he wants to fuck your daughter...and in this case you can beat the shit out of him ! Oooor ! And i think this is the most obvious one, he is trying to get into your pants.” 

Em almost choked himself. “Wait what ! What the fuck are you talking about !”  
“ Oh come on man ! You can’t rent a entire bar without having any intentions...and maybe he kinda heard about all of you hidden stuff...”  
He rolled his eyes...not this story again ! “Come on men ! Just because a dude...one day gave me a blowjob…”  
“ Five dudes bro ! At least !”  
“ Yeah five...whatever ! Why are you so informed about how many guy’s sucked me off anyway ! “ He stretched his arms, slightly annoyed.  
“Don't you know dude ? It’s because i’m trying really hard to fuck you !”  
The brunette snorted. “Why haven’t you say that earlier !" He said using his high pitch Slim Shady voice. “We could have run off together ! Come on Dree let your wife leave her lesbian dream and let’s get married !”  
Both of them laugh for a while. Dree yawned twice before talking again.  
“More seriously, this stuff is weird but if the dude felt sorry it’s all good shit ! Now if you don't mind i would really like to go back to bed with my wife who is not a lesbian.”  
“ Oh fuck you !” And with that he left, typical Dress style. 

Em dropped his phone...The kid trying to get in his pants ? That was ridiculous ! And Dre bringing the minor and inconsequent things he did with guys here and there was a weak move. He sigh...after his second divorce with Kim, he went through an hypersexual phase feeling that fucking everything that moved could help him numb the pain...it really didn’t. At one point there was this pretty dude who offered to suck him off...really it was nothing. Since then, they had been guys he slept with here and there, but again nothing spectacular. It’s not like he was not “not straight”, it just that he wasn’t completely close to the idea of fucking dudes from time to time. And...Okay Elton told him several times that there was no way you could get your dick sucked by a man and be straight but Elton wasn’t objective ! Beside it’s not like he thought about Kell’s this way ! He really couldn’t picture the kid on his knees, mouth wrapped around his cock..and oh...oh…  
Actually he could picture the kid on his knees, mouth wrapped around his cock really well…  
Oh my god no ! He lightly slapped his head, trying to get this shit out of his brain. 

This was beyond inappropriate ! The man was far to young ! And came to him with intention that had nothing to do with blowjobs ! He grabbed the sparkling water left in the mini fridge. Enough shit for the day ! Now he was going to bed and never think about this way to cute for his own good dude sucking him off ever again !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler : He will think about again...a lot ! 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed the chapter i will answer to all of them ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of you'r comments and kudos :3
> 
> Okay ! This one is a big baby ! haha ! So enjoy

“Don't worry sweetie ! Everything is going to be fine !”  
“ Can you take a picture with Em pleeeeeease”  
Colson laughed...God his daughter was so cute.  
“Only if it’s stay in your phone ! I promise i will baby !” Casie larked through the phone.  
“Yes ! I promise ! ...Oh what mom ? Okay...can i say by to dad first ?” 

The blond rapper rolled his eyes...not again !  
“Dad, mom wants me to go to bed so…i wish you good luck for your concert ! I love you !”  
His heart melted...christ ! He loved her so much !  
“By baby ! I love you ! Sweet dreams !” 

“ Hye Colson !”  
The sweet and pitchy voice of her daughter was replaced by a deeper, raspier voice.  
He sigh. “Hye Emma ? How are you doing ?”  
“I should be the one too ask you that ! I’m impressed ! You're still able to talk at this hour ! Shouldn’t you be on coke and valium at this time ?”  
Fuck ! He forced himself to breathe through is nose, doing his best to not get angry.  
“Emma...it’s not because i take pills from time to time…”  
“ Time to time ?! Every time i tried to call, someone of your staff answer for you ! And they always gave me the same bulshit ! Sorry ma'am MGK is really high right now !”  
Kell’s starting to get really pissed, became much more aggressive.  
“Fuck you ! It’s not your business what i do on tour !!!”  
“ IT IS MY FUCKING BUSINESS !”  
Shit...When Emma turned this angry it was really scary.  
“DO YOU REMEMBER OUR DEAL COLSON ?!”  
The man didn’t respond, staring at the wall in front of him.  
“ I SAID DO YOU FUCKING REMEMBER OUR DEAL ?!”  
“Yes ! Yes ! I fucking remember our deal ! Jesus !”  
“Great ! Cause when you're back in LA you rather be sober if you even want to be close to Casie !” And with that she hang out the phone. 

He let himself fall on his chair, nervously scratching his scalp with his hands. He was crazy mad but he couldn’t really blame Emma... When Casie was just born he was dealing with serious heroin problems not to mention he didn’t felt ready to be a parents at the time.  
Emma had to be the only parental and financial support for her. He will always remain deeply ashamed of this period of his life. It was almost ten years ago, yet he still felt this excruciating fear of not being a good father, of not being able to give her the things she needed. 

His eyes were glued to the small metal box full of pills and cocaine. He mechanically grabbed two valiums and took a bit of coke. It was fine ! It was fine ! 

Those were the word he constantly repeated to himself those days. That and “i'm not an addict”. Cause he wasn’t...right ? An addict was someone who couldn’t live without his dope. He could...actually he could stop taking vicodin tomorrow ! 

His vision was blurry...He closed his eyes enjoying the filling of relaxation. Every fucking time he put those pills in his mouth he told himself “the last one”. And every time he took another one just a of couple hours next. 

When all the Killshot drama was going on, he could repeat to himself that he needed stuff to numb the pain and the stress. That without any pills he wouldn’t be able to keep doing concert and act “fine” when he was doing interviews. But now that his beef with Em was over...that he had a drink with him... Fuck he still couldn't realize he had a drink with the dude ! 

Now that he felt more in peace with himself, he had no more excuses to justify his drug taking. And no matter how much he kept repeating himself that everything was fine, he hadn't spend a day without pills or coke for weeks ! Since the beginning of his tour he couldn’t go on stage without some stuff, after every concert i’ll go on clubs and take some cocaine or E and he always needed Xanax to sleep. He rubbed his head as his breathing was becoming steadier and steadier. Yeah ! Taking drug wasn’t ideal but who didn’t take a bit of powder and pills ? It was not like fucking heroin ! 

He wasn’t sticking a fucking niddle under his skin ! He never felt high to the point of not knowing where he was and what he was doing...okay sometimes he was this high but he never overdosed ! Therefore he was okay. 

He stood up and grabbed a bottle of rhum. Anyway ! He will think about all this shit latter, right now he needed things to boost him, because fuck ! He was in Detroit ! I’ll have to be on stage in 20 minutes and one of the greatest rappers alive will see him perform. Good ! He was so nervous ! He felt like...like...he felt a bit like B-Rabbit before he choked in a stage in front of many people ! He closed his eyes, thinking about his daughter. Everything will be fine, worst case scenario Em would think the show sucked...and what ? They weren’t close ! He didn't even want them to be ! 

Okay...maybe this was a bit of a lie...maybe he had think about the drink he had with Em, and how hot the men was non stop since the last month. But...it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he never get to see him again...his daughter wouldn’t be mad at him for not be able to take a picture with the older rapper. And best case scenario...Em might like his show and then they could talk about music and hip pop for hours and see each other again and he might get the chance to kiss him...no !

Not that again ! What was wrong with him ! He usually wasn't horny when he was doing coke. Marshall was a man in his forties with a beard, a deep voice and overall a very masculine energy, there was nothing in this dude that resemble what Kell’s liked. Which was good looking girls with big boobs and long hair ! 

“Kell’s we just finished the soundcheck ! You’r ready ?”  
It was Alice his new manager, who had the incredible advantage of not being Dan.  
He breathe heavily...he will be okay ! He was going to nail this mother fucking concert !  
“Yeah ! Let’s go” 

(...)

Gooood he really felt like this show would never end. It was just one hour and half yet he felt like four. He should have except Detroit to be hostile, after all he was still knowned in the public eye as the man who dissed Eminem, the most famous men who ever lived here.

Not that the crowd was 100% haters who just came to shout at him, but there were a lot of people who booed him, some dude even threw a plastic bottle at him. He did is best to stay professional and do a good show, knowing that Marshall was watching. Was he ? What if the man didn’t came after all ? Why would he came anyway...he probably had better things to do. 

No...No...it was not the moment the get nervous about this shit ! He had to focus on his flow ! Let’s show those mother fuckers that he could do good stuff ! 

(...)

“You did a really good show tonight !” 

Does Alice mean it or was she trying to be nice ? His rational side was telling him that he did pretty good indeed, but his anxious side, who those days was much stronger was aggressively repetiting him that he sucked. 

Crap...he really...really wanted some pills right now.  
“I’ll let you rest a little bit !” She said, seeing that he wasn't answering, before living his lodge. 

The second she left he immediately grabbed his little box and took five valium.  
Wasn’t that a bit much ? Oh...fuck what was the deal anyway ! He didn’t feel like going to clubs and it’s not like anyone was coming. 

“Kell’s ?”  
What the fuck did Alice wanted right now ! Couldn’t she see that he was trying to relax !  
“What ! ” He asked with an angry toned.  
“ Eminem is with your security staff ! He said that you would let him in !”  
Fuck ! The man wanted to see him ? Oh good ! He will be crazy high in thirty minutes !  
What could he do ! What could he mother fucking do !!!  
“You're okay ?” Alice ask, looking at him, not knowing why he was jumping all around.  
“I’m...fine ? Tell...tell the security staff to let him in !”  
She looked at him intrigued, she gently tapped on his shoulder : “Are you sure ? You guys are not going to jump at each other throat ? Cause don't take it bad man...but he really looks like he could knock you off !”  
Oh great ! Now she was telling him things he already knew !  
“Yeah i’m sure ! Just let him in !”  
“Okay ! Just remember that the makeup lady can’t do any miracles and you have a show on monday !” 

He nervously drank water trying to cool himself down. Shit ! He was already starting to feel crazy dizzy. 

“Your security staff is a pain in the ass man ! I had too wait 20 minutes just to talk to your agent !” 

Fuck ! He was here ! The younger man looked at the rapper in the white of the eye, mouth semi open. 

“You're okay men ?” He asked lifting an eyebrow. 

Pull yourself together ! He thought ! Marshall Mathers was in his loge for Christ Sake !  
“Hm...yeah ! Sorry i’m a bit jetlag and tired with all the travelling and concerts !”  
“Yeah...i can see that…” He didn’t sound convinced...the brunette took a glimpse at the metallic box laying on the table, Kell’s immediately closed it, forcing himself to smile. 

“Soooo...do you want a drink or something ? I have beer on the fridge !”  
“ Sure !” He said sitting on the couch. “Do you have an alcohol free one ?”  
Kell’s snorted grabbing two bottles of corona.  
“No...but i mean...it’s beer ! It barely has alcohol in it, so does it matter ?”  
Em looked at him with a crazy straight face “It does !”  
“Oh…” The blond man left one in the fridge and grabbed a can.  
“Then i...i have diet coke ! Is diet coke okay ?”  
“ Yeah ! It’s just fine !” He said grabbing the can. Kell’s sat down on the couch as well, spreading his legs and stretching his arms to look as casual and unbothered as he could. 

He was none of this but fuck ! He was an actor ! He could act like it...if all the drugs in his system allowed him too. 

“So you went to my concert after all...i really..i really didn’t thought you would come !”  
Fuck ! Stuttering like a freaking child was definitely not making him look relaxed. The brunette opened his can and drank a bit from it.  
“Well i told you i will ! I know a bit of your stuff now and to be honest i…”  
“ Wait...wait...wait” The younger man started nervously shaking, is anxiety level climbing like crazy. “Just let me get psychologically ready…” He took the bottle of rhum.  
“Okay ! So my stuff ? ” 

Marshall smirked. “Yeah i was saying that i didn’t really knew a lot of your stuff...but i really didn’t excepted your flow to be this clean !”  
The rhum violently burned his mouth. “Wha...what ? Really !”  
“ Yeah man ! I mean is your opinion about yourself this low ? I kinda always knew you were at least a decent rapper, there were a lot of good punchline in rap devil after all...but really you have nice bars and your flow is...yeah you're flow is really good !”

Did Eminem just said is flow was good ? Not just good...he said his flow was REALLY good.  
“My good ! You have no idea how much this means to me !”  
“It really shouldn’t man ! You have a lot of potential and it’s pretty obvious !” 

Okay...he could die right now ! He could go peacefully ! Goddamn Eminem told him he had a lot of potential ! 

“Thank you ! You know those days i’m not really sure of anything, i feel like Hotel Diablo is botched and lazy…”

“I've listen to Hotel Diabo before coming in and i have to admit that the production is not the best, but the lyricism and the rhymes are really good ! I can see that you put a lot of work in this shit kid !” 

Listening to Em listing what he liked in Hotel Diablo really made im proud. He dreamed for years about meeting the artist and hearing him tell good stuff about his work. And this was fucking happening ! 

But...although the conversation was very pleasant and went on for a while, Colson felt extremely groggy, his vision was becoming blurrier and blurrier, his stomach hurt pretty badly and his entire body felt heavy. He did his very best to hide it. Trying to focus on Em’s face...he really had a nice face. But after a while the pain was so vivid that even sitting straight on the couch was unbearable. 

“You okay man ?” The older rapper asked, seeing him violently bend his back, rubbing his stomach. Kell’s tried to answer, but he wasn’t capable of moving his mouth anymore. Suddenly felt on the ground.

Everything was shaking, everything hurted...why did he hurt so much ? Everything was white...where was he again ? 

He felt two strong arms holding him, and an angry scream...someone was hurt ? Good it was so painful...he just wanted the pain to stop ! Maybe if he closed his eyes a little bit...he felt a violent slap on his face. 

“STAY THE FUCK AWAKE !!!” 

Who had to stay awake ? Who was screaming ? He suddenly felt extremely sleepy.  
“I SAID STAY THE FUCK AWAKE ! COME ON !” Another slap, apparently he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. So he tried to focus on the arms who were holding him instead, they were warm, it felt good...maybe if he’ll get closer the pain wouldn’t be as vivid.

Closer...closer...He felt a chest against his head...warmer..but the pain was still there.  
People were screaming ? Why were they ? His eyes were so heavy…

(...)  
Marshall was staring at his nikes, he had been waiting on this fucking bench for mother fucking hours ! He really was getting tired ! He tried to distract himself by looking at the window, he saw Alice smoking a cigarette on the outside. Fuck ! If he hadn’t quit smoking a long time ago, he could really do a joint right now ! 

He sure wasn’t expecting his day to end this way ! He went to Kell’s concert thinking he will just watch an okay show, have a small chat with the dude then go home and sleep. Not that the kid will fucking overdose right in front of him ! He immediately called 911 so he should be good. Pretty sure that when he overdosed it was far worse than that. 

Hoewer what infuriated him,was that none of his crew seemed surprised or even bothered by what happend. When the younger man was convulsing on the floor holding to him like he was depending on it...which could be oddly comforting if his fucking life wasn't in danger right now...Alice just calmly said “Oh yeah ! They told me this could happen…” .

The man was fucking thirty ! He was fucking young ! And he had a daughter for fuck sake ! How could no one care ! Didn’t they had children as well ? Couldn’t they understand ? Or at least feel a bit for this guy ? ...Fuck ! And what was taking so long !  
They were on a private clinic (because they was not way the Kid had survived in a public hospital in Detroit). It was fucking empty ! He saw three people living Colson room. Shit ! When did those guys came in...wait...fuck ! They were cops ?! 

He immediately stood up  
“Can i help you ?” He asked hoping he would have some informations.  
“Holy Shit ! Guys ! This is Eminem !” Said one of the guys.  
He rolled his eyes, he really wasn’t in the mood for fanboys right now...okay he had to kept his cool annoying cops was the worst idea.  
“Yeah...hum it’s me...is Colson okay ?”  
“Oh yeah ! He got a stomach cleansing ! He would be just fine ! We wanted to talk to him but he was unconscious...so we just handcuffed him to the hospital bed !”  
Wait what ? “What...what the fuck are you talking about ?”  
The third guy spoke “Sorry sir but we really can’t tell you more...well be back when he wakes up...let’s go guys !” The three cops walked through the exit door. Fucking pigs ! 

He inhaled deeply trying to keep his cool. He followed them.  
“Come on guys ! Can’t you at least tell me why you are handcuffing him ?”  
The older one seemed a bit pissed.  
“I’ve already told you sir ! We can’t tell you anything! Now leave us the fuck alone otherwise i bring you to the police station !” 

The younger one looked at Marshall in a more sympathetic way, he stopped walking.  
“Aren’t you coming ?” One of his colleagues asked.  
“Huh...i’ll be, i’ll be there in a second...i’m just going to buy myself a coffee…”  
He waited for both men to be outside, before looking at the rapper again.  
“Okay...i’m not allowed to say this...but i can give some informations if you take a picture and sign my…”

“I’ll sign whatever shit you want dude, heck ! I’ll even sign nine if you want to sell this shit on ebay ! Now can you fucking talk !” 

The man seemed a bit surprised but nodded.  
“Okay...to be quick it’s not the first time that Mr.Baker had been found with illicit drugs, actually he have already been condemned by justice.”  
Oh shit ! The kid was fucked !  
“Okay...but to what extent ?”  
“Well from now own Mr Baker can no longer leave the Michigan state, he won't be allowed to contact his daughter and he his more likely to be incarcerated”.  
What ? Em was used to people struggling with legal stuff but fuck ! This much !  
“Really ! It’s...isn’t all of this way to much ? I mean the man didn’t hurt anyone ! He just took a bit of valium…” The cop looked at him, snorting a bit :  
“According to the doctors Mr Baker was on a mixture of cocaine,valium,morphine and alcohol...so no...not just a bit of valium...i don't have other informations sir, if you want to know anything, you can’t still call Emma Cannon’s lawyer !”

(...)

The rapper did everything he could to push back this moment. He called the lawyer to know moore about all this shit. Then Dre to talk about all this shit. Then went home because it was late after all. Then he really needed to work out for three hours straight. Then he thought that if he didn’t do all of the dishes (although he had two dishwashers) he might die. Then went to the clinic...but spend another two hours spacing around...Colson might be talking to his lawyer after all. Then it was lunch time, he wasn’t coming at lunch time...

This went on and on till he finally forced himself to go to the younger men room. He knew the man will be sad but...Christ ! The Kid looked broken...is eyes were lifeless, he looked painfully tired, face burned probably with tears. 

He felt so bad looking at him and those fucking cuffs wrapped around his wrist. They first started at each other, no one really dared talking, then Kell’s finally opened his mouth. “My lawyer came to see me in the morning…”

Fuck even his voice sounded wrecked !  
“She said i might either have to choose between mandatory rehab or jail…”  
Both of those choices sucked ! Rehab clinics were the worst especially in Detroit, beside everybody knew his face ! They will steal his shit and harassed him to the point of mental breakdown…

He knew it ! That’s what happened with him when he went on rehab !  
And prison ? Fuck ! There is no way a blond, cute looking, scrawny white guy would survive in a Michigan detention center ! So either i’ll go to rehab, got his physical and mental health completely fucked, possibly failed miserably and relapse again with probably legal consequences or i’ll immediately went to prison and became some dude bitch.

This was fucking suicide either ways ! But he really couldn’t say that to the man ! He tried to reassure him.

“Then...it’s not that bad of a thing...you know...rehab might…”  
“ Oh shut up !” Kell’s said looking angry. “Rehab centers don't work ! Everybody knows that ! It’s basically a torture chamber ! And prison...did you think i can make it in  
prison ? I’m fucked either way !” 

Okay ! The kid wasn’t stupid...he had to try another technique.  
“I’m pretty sure the judge can rethink you’r sentence i mean with a good lawyer…”  
“NO IT FUCKING CAN’T ! “ Now he sounded outraged. “I’ve already been condemned okay ! That was the fucking deal ! If i was found with illicit drugs again it was prison or mandatory rehab !” 

In normal times Em would start to get really pissed, cause he sure didn’t like to be yelled at ! But he had to keep his cool...he breathe heavily...he will yell at Dre over the phone...the man was used to it ! 

“Why did you ended with such heavy condemnation anyway ? You were never a drug dealer weren't you ?” The blond rapper shook his head, eyes closed.  
“No...It was when i was 18, i was crazy obsessed with heroin to the point of sometime stealing it, i had no money for a lawyer, and i was willing to do anything to be close to my daughter, so i really didn’t fight against any of decision the judge made.”  
Marshall sat down on the bed, looking at him.  
“Did you tried to talk about all this shit with your mama’s daughter ?”  
Kell’s gave him a sarcastic snare. “I've been trying to call her no stop, but the only thing she said is that she don't want to talk to me unless i have the legal prove that i’m sober…”

They was as uncomfortable silence in the room. The situation was shitty...Coslon seemed utterly destroyed and Marshall had absolutely no idea of what he could do or say to help the kid. After a couple of minutes the older man finally talked.  
“I...I’m really sorry man…i”  
“Dude ! Stop” Fuck...his face was distorted with anger.  
“Why are you here anyway ? Want to enjoy the view ?” He said, bitterly pointing the cuff around his wrist. Marshall frowned. What the fuck was he talking about ?  
“Oh please ! Don't look so surprised ! You think i don't know you're still fucking salty about this fucking Rap Devil song ! Well aren’t you happy now !  
“Stop whining like a bitch !” He said starting to get really annoyed by Kell’s shitty mood.  
“I’m trying to help you ! You ungrateful brat !”  
The face of the younger man became even darker, his eyes were filled with rage.  
“Help me ? I’m in this fucking situation because of you !!”  
What did this piece of shit jus saided ?  
“Are you fucking Kiding ? God ! Did you hear yourself ! You were doing a mother fucking overdose ! What was i supposed to do ? Leave you on the floor ?”  
“I was fine okay ! I was fucking fine ! But you had to call a fucking ambulance ! You had too fucking give them my box of pills !”  
“I HAD TOO YOU DUMB SHIT !” He screamed really doing his best to not punch him. “They needed to know what kinda shit you were on ! They had to treat you ?”  
The blond rapper looked even angrier. “Yeah great ! You literally gave the authorities proofs on a silver plate ! Now i’m fucked ! I’m beyond fuck ! I WONT SEE MY DAUGHTER YOUR ASSHOLE !” 

Okay that was enough ! He lost it ! He lifted the man by the shirt, shaking him like crazy.  
“YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF !” He tried to calm his breathing.  
“You're the one who thought it was a good idea to mix valium with morphine and coke and water all this shit with booze ! We're kinda far from the just a bit of pills to cope with the stress you sold me the other month ! Fucking idiot !!!” 

He let him fall on his bed. He had to live the room ! Right now ! Otherwise he will ripped this kid in tw...he heard a painful sob that drag him out of his thoughts. The man was shaking like crazy, his face was all red and fuck...he was crying ! 

He could make fun of that...but...but there were no joy in seeing the young rapper like that.  
It just made him feel bad and angry at himself for losing his temper ! The Man was fucking cuffed at a bed ! What kinda coward move was that ! 

“GET OUT !” He screamed hiding his face. “GET THE FUCK OUT!” 

He leaved the room filling enraged at first. He thought about calling Dre to trash about the dude but...but he really he couldn’t bring himself to be mad at the man. His crying face just broke his fucking heart...and no one should ever know ! He will lose all street creed !

Yeah...but he still really needed to complain and scream at someone ! Oh...he could still call Elton ? Heck Elton won't even care if he said that the kid crying made him feel bad, beside the man lived for the drama ! His life would be a musical if he could ! 

(...)  
That conversation with Elton went nothing like expected ! The man wasn’t amused nor entertained, he just trashed at Marshall for not understanding the emotional distress of the kid. “He is in pain ! And drugs ar the least thing you use to be friendly ! You know that darling !” 

The old fairy actually had a point, he was an absolute dick when he was on pills ! But still !  
Elton was his friend ! Shouldn't friends be always on your side !? He sat on the hospital bench, hoppening the can on diet coke he just bought...of course not ! Those weren’t friends ! Those were puppets who only care about your fame and money. Maybe Colson only had puppets those days...he wouldn’t be surprised. 

Yet he still couldn’t believe that Elton told him that he understood why the younger man viewed Em as responsible for what happened to him ! Now he was forced to think about it and he didn’t like that ! 

Okay...he actually was kinda responsible ! He should have thought before calling an ambulance and giving them Kells pills, he could have called the medical staff instead. A stomach cleansing was a lot...but not something a trained staff couldn’t managed. But how could he know the dude had problems with justice ! 

Now he was going to jail...were he was going to...good he didn’t even wanted to think about it ! The mere thought was unbearable ! He just couldn’t picture something so awful happening to the man ! And he had a child ! A fucking child ! What’s more important than that ! Good if someone tried to take Marshall’s daughter’s away from him…

Well he already did some stupid shit because of that ! Fuck ! Those kid’s struggles...it was like he was watching himself in the mirror...except he was almost a foot taller and had a...kinda cute face...yeah ! Whatever ! 

He nervously scratched his head. He sure could do something right ? Any stuff ?! He picked his phone and called his lawyer. He couldn’t just sit there and watch the kid’s life destroyed ! 

(...) 

The skin on his wrist was almost raw because of how tight the cuff was...his arm was so fucking numb…

Colson had his eyes glued to the big white wall of the room...he felt drained. It was like someone had sucked all life from him...even blinking felt painful. He was exhausted, yet he couldn’t bring himself to sleep because of all the crazy things going through his head. 

His throat was still sore from the fight he had with Marshall a couple of hours earlier.  
Fuck...he had been a mother fucking asshole too the dude ! He was disgusted with himself ! Why did everytime something good happened in his life he had to fuck it all up !  
Usually when he felt this hurt he would cry to the point he no longer had tears left (while being ashamed of it, cause like his dad always said...crying is for pussy’s !).  
But a least he will feel either better, either so tired that would pass out. But he just couldn’t right now ! He just couldn’t bring himself too. 

Someone knocked at his door...it was fucking 11PM ! Couldn’t those cops wait tomorrow ?  
When he wouldn’t feel as drained ! 

“What !” He said with a sore voice.  
“I was afraid you were sleeping…”

What the fuck was Marshall doing here again ! 

“Dude...i’m really, really sorry about the fight...but right know i don't have any energy left so can we just…”  
“Just let me talk !” The man said, sitting on the bed, looking at him in the eyes.  
Crap ! Now he remembered that he had cried in front of the older rapper and he felt even more embarrassed.

“I’m not mad at you okay ! I understand how you're feeling right now ! And i shouldn’t have loose my temper ! I didn’t came her for that !” 

He immediately felt a bit better...life was still shit but...but at least Em was still his friend...wait...was Em his friend ? 

“I just went too see my lawyer, i wanted to understand the situation you're in better.”  
The younger man nodded, not really understanding why the man needed to know better about a juridical case he was not involved in.  
“So...you can no longer leave the state of the Michigan and you can either go to a rehab center or a detention center, the judge will be the one to decide for how long”  
He nodded again...nothing he didn’t knew already...he was fucked either way !  
Marshall kept talking. “I don't know if you're aware but the conditions regardless of what is and i not a mandatory rehab is different in every state.” 

Really ? He didn’t knew about that. 

“In the Michigan state mandatory rehab means that you're in a controlled space, under the surveillance of a person who had been declared fit for the duty and go too regular addicts meetings.” 

Colson smirked. “Great ! You just described a rehab center !”  
The older man scratched his head, looking like he didn’t really knew what to say.  
“Yeah... well this definition can also apply to any space you're living in, under the surveillance of somebody while regularly going to addicts meetings.” 

Okay he kinda gets what he was saying but that didn’t really change anything.  
“Yeah ! i know a lot of people declared fit for duty...whatever that means...who leave in Michigan ! The rapper looked at him in the eyes again, looking extremely serious.  
“Colson...i've been a member of the 12 step recovery group for the past 11 years, i've been sober for over a decade and i’m one of their bigger investors, not to mention i've been a sponsor for a lot of people...i’m more than fit to the duty !” 

Kell’s choked himself, cauphing loudly. He felt the rapper hands rubbing his back...it felt nice. “Dude...what...what are you insinuating ?”  
“I’m telling you can stay at my place as the controlled place ! With me as the person who’s responsible of you ! I’ll take you to the AA meetings twice a week...i wanted to make sure it was possible with my lawyer and it is !” 

The younger man felt a glance of hope. Things won’t be so bad after all ! Maybe this wasn't the end of the world ! Then he immediately remembered who he was and who the man next to him fucking was ! 

“I...I...listen Marshall...what you are doing is incredible but...but i really can’t accept it...i…just can’t !” The older man lift an eyebrow, confused.  
“Why ? It’s obviously the best option !”  
“It is ! But...there is no reason for you to do all of this for me ! You...you don't own me anything ! We...we don't know each other men!”  
The brunette stood up, putting himself right in front of him still looking at him in the eyes...fuck those eyes ! They were killing him ! “It's true wee d’ont...be i wouldn’t mind if we did !” 

For a quick second Kell’s felt like his heart wasn't beating anymore. The man kept talking.  
“I know how it feels to be at your place...to be in your shoes...and it’s fucking shit ! There is a lot people in my life that were like you in this bed...i and wasn’t able to help them...but i can help you !” 

Colson didn’t knew what to say...he felt beyond grateful, but also terrified...living with Em ?  
Getting sober...all of this was to much !  
“I...I..men...i just don't…”  
“Dude ! It’s either that or you’ll have to choose between being locked down with a bunch of lunatics who will still all of your stuff and treat you like shit till you break or being locked down with a bunch of rapist who i think have something for cute looking guys !” 

Okay ! The man had a point ! At this point how he felt really didn’t matter, all he could do for now is being thankful and do good.  
“Thank you ! I...i don't think i’ll ever be able to repay you but thank you !”  
The rapper sat down again and smirked. “Now you know what i've been telling to Dre everyday of my life, since the moment i meet him !”  
Kell’s laugh a bit...it felt good…  
“Are you sure ? Rehab can be long...i could stay at your place like...two entire months !”  
“I’m pretty sure it won’t happen ! If you do good we can ask the judge and you could have your own place in three weeks ! Beside my home as nine fucking rooms ! If i don't want to see your face i just have to lock you in one...or in my basement if i’m really pissed off !  
And I write a song about it !” 

He laughed again, harder this time. “It would probably be a great song !”  
He looked at the older man face for a couple of seconds, before finally asking.  
“If...if is not too much...can i ask you a favor ?”  
“Can...can you call my daughter ? Her mom won’t let me talk to her...i understand and everything...but...but i really would like to tell her i’m doing fine !”  
The older man just nod before lending him his phone. And oh ! Kell’s was expecting some fancy iphone not an at least two years old samsung… 

He entered the phone number, it was late so he knew his daughter would be sleeping, i’ll had to be quick. 

“Who is it ?” Said a sleepy voice.  
Christ ! Colson immediately smiled. He felt so good to hear her voice again !  
“It’s dad sweetheart !”  
“Dad ? Shouldn’t you be back home ? Mom said you have a concert in LA tomorrow !”  
“Yeah well...daddy is going to be a bit late ?”  
“What are you talking about ?” She asked sounding hurt.  
“I...i can’t go home right now sweetie, i have to stay here for a while…” He felt his throat tighten, hearing his daughter sobbing.  
“Why dad ? Are you mad a me ? You don't want to see me anymore ?”  
“No baby ! No !” He almost felt like he would burst into tears anytime, he just couldn’t hear his daughter cry, it was awful !  
“Dad is...dad is a little bit sick okay ? Dad has to get better so he can properly take care of you ! “ Casie seemed a bit better.  
“So you won't make me sick as well ?” She asked.  
“Yes darling...yes...so i won’t make you sick as well…” He said, feeling like could cry any second. He heard his daughter sigh then hang out the phone...she always hanged out the phone when she was angry…

He suddenly felt so overwhelmed by everything. Tears started burning his eyes, he wanted to stop them, trying to remember himself that Marshall was there, but he just couldn’t. It was like all of the pain he was holding the last couple of hours came right now. So he cried, and cried, and cried...he wanted to hide his face but one of his hand was cuffed and the other was holding a phone. 

After a couple of minutes he felt arms, gently hugging him. He knew he should try to keep some dignity, but he was so tired...and the warmth was comforting. He nervously grabbed the shirt of the older man, heavily crying on his chest.  
“I’m sorry...i’m sorry…” He said sobbing. But Marshall just held him tighter.  
“It’s okay ! I’v got you...i’v got you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments make me happy !  
> Also d'ont do drugs kids !


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feed back everyone it means a lot to me ! So Marshall and Colson are learning to coexist in the same space and this chapter is from Kelly's point of view.

Okay ! So his encents were in the red bag, his hair lotion too, his perfume on the green suitcase. He just bought five bags of spicy chips, his straight razor was on his backpack, Alice just brought him all of his tour clothes…

“What the fuck are you doing ?” Marshall asked looking at the younger man stacking an impressive number of bags and suitcases.  
“I’m making sure i have everything !” He answered while searching for his earrings collection. There is no way he will be able to survive without his earing collection !  
Em looked at him with weird eyes. Then grabbed a bag of chips and his pen’s collection.  
“Why are you taking those ! Are cheetos and nine fucking calligraphic pen necessary for your survival ?! And all of those clothes ! Why do you have so much shit ?”  
“Those are my tour clothes and the rest is my essentials ! You know ! Things you need to keep going !” The brunette kept looking at him with an odd face.  
“The only thing you need to keep going is a shirt and you’r dick !”  
Colson laugh a little, while cheeking he had everything he needed in his backpack.  
“Well good for you Mick Guyver but we don't all want to live like Man Vs Wild…”  
“ We are going in my fucking house ! Not in a tropical forest !” 

Yeah...the blond rapper couldn’t say he was surprised by Em reaction, the man never had any taste in clothes and kept wearing the same shitty stuff over and over again. “Seriously ! Did you needed to buy five bags of chips ?” He asked grabbing one.  
“Well i don't think there is much of those in your house ! Actually i pretty sure that you only have weird health stuff...like this machine were you put carrots and kale in it and it makes juice ! He laugh at bit, throwing the bag of chips at the younger man.  
“It’s called a juicer ! And yup i have three of those !” 

This time it was Kelly who made a weird face : “Why so many ?”  
“There is one in my studio, another at my gym and one in my kitchen !”  
The blond man laugh opening the bag of chips “Oh ! So Mr.Matters drink kale juice while working on his studio ! Doing so much for your street creed !”  
Em snorked, grabbing his blue nail polish. “Dude ! You have an entire bag full of nail polish that all look like you stole them from your daughter ! So don't tell me anything about street creed !” 

He laugh harder...actually they were a couple of those that he actually stole from his daughter...and his past girlfriend...and one of his one night stands…  
“Okay fair enough !” He grabbed his bag of nail polish and put him in his biggest suitcase  
“Are you going to make me drink kale juice tho ?” He asked, with a smirk.  
“Only if it cause you pain !” The older man sayed. 

He nodded, packing his last things. He was grateful the man didn't treat him with pity or like a sick child. He was not sure he would have react to that very well. He felt a bit stressed but good at the same time. He had no idea of what to expect, but he also felt he was in good hand...good hands… 

Yesterday when he was crying like a freaking child those hands rubbed his back.  
And it felt so freaking good...he quickly looked at the man’s neck...he had a small scratch on the left side...probably caused by him when he was pulling his shirt like crazy.  


“You're ready dude ? You have you’r 1000 bags ?” Em asked, apparently tired of waiting.  
“Yeah ! Yeah i have everything !” He said grabbing as many suitcases as he could.  
Marshall looked at him amused. “You're lucky i bring my van otherwise none of this shit would suit in the trunk !” 

Both of them went to the police station, they put an electronic bracelet on Kell’s ankle while Em signed a couple of papers, attesting that he took the responsibility of the younger man’s rehab. Wearing that shit was embarrassing but it sure was much better than having his hands cuffed. He was lucky all of this shit was happening in Detroit were paparazzi were not behind every tree. And with that they went straight to Marshall’s home. 

“So !” He said while driving. “House rules ! “  
Crap ! They were house rules ? Like what ? Bed at 10pm ? Five fruits and vegetables every day ? Cause if it was the case it won’t be that different from prison !  
“Don't sleep with your shoes on and don't smoke cigarettes without the window open. Maria an Andy my housekeepers come here every monday and saturday, don't be a dick to them ! Nor with my security staff ! Apart from that you can do pretty much everything you want with your day, but when i’m working in my studio i don't want to be disturb...unless you really need help ! You can go in pretty much every room you want but not my daughters !” 

Okay those were reasonable rules, he could deal with that...albeit he had to get used to take his shoes off when going to bed…

“Are you daughters here ?” He asked, not really liking the idea of having to coexist with Ailie. I really didn’t see himself act all friendly with the girl he used to make sexual remarks when she was a fucking minor. 

“No ! Ailie as been living at her own place since a while, same for Alaina ! And Witney always spend a month with me and a month with her mom...so she might be there in a week or two.” 

Kell’s noded, he felt a bit reassured...but if they daughters were not there… does it mean they were going to be on their own ? Of course not ! The man probably had a girlfriend ! And this information didn’t made him mad at all ! The bitc...the lady was probably very nice and cool and fun to be around and he was going to have mother fucking fun with her ! 

“Were here !” The rapper said, parking his van in front of a an enormous residence, two securities guards in front of it. It was a very nice mansion for sure, with a huge garden and what looked like a piece of wetland. Fuck an expensive house in Detroit and an expensive house in LA sure was not the same ! He almost felt lucky; okay this was rehab and it sucked but he was in fucking Em’s house ! 

“Pick your bags ! I’ll show you around !” 

The house was very beautiful and full of expensive items cause of course it was! Yet, Colson didn’t expected that it all felt like...well a home. It was not the crazy modern designs in extra large spaces of those fancy LA mansion who all looked more like glorified hotels. It was full of kids drawings and family pictures, it almost made him feel like an intruder cause he really felt like someone lived there and had built memories between those walls. 

“You want to order some stuff ?” Marshall asked. “I’m fucking starving”.  
The younger man looked at him with big eyes “Are you kidding ! You have this kitchen who’s dope as fuck and you want to order food !” . The brunette rolled his eyes, searching for what looked like a peace of whole wheat bread. “Not in the mood for cooking…” He said mouth full, grabbing a bottle of sparkling water on the fridge. Kell’s laughed…  
”Well if you give me 15 minutes i can make you something.”

As far as he knew he was a decent cook ! He knew i’ll need much much more than a meal to show his gratitude but he could start by this ! 

(...)  
Em was waiting on the counter table, loking at his phone while looking bored.  
“Seriously man if there is not food in front of me in the next five minutes i’m going to order!”  
“I’m doing my best for fuck sake !” He trashed. Couldn't the dude be a little bit patient ?  
Cooking in someone else kitchen was no easy ! You spend your time searching for the things you need and the other half learning how the things work.  
“So ! “ He said grabbing two large plates “Those are shrimps and asparagus pastas...and this..” He took out of the (ridiculously expensive) oven a small chocolate cake.  
“...is my fuck me cake !” 

Marshall looked at him with a weird face. “So we are supposed to fuck the cake ?”  
The younger man nervously blushed, realizing how silly it sounded “No...no ! It’s...it’s just the name a gave to this cake when i bake him for the first time ! I wasn’t really successful with girls at the time...but i knew they all liked cake so..." “So you learn to bake cakes to fuck bitches ?” He had, a mischievous smile on his face.  
“Amongst other things ! That’s how i got my daughter’s mama !” He replied, cutting the cake with a sharp knife. “Well Great ! I hope that when you make that for your daughter you're like ‘here sweetie ! this how i fucked your mom ! take a slice !”. The older man said using his Slim Shady voice. The blond rapper burst into laughter… ”No...no actually i only make this cake for…” Holy mother fucking shit !! 

Colson only ever made the fuck me cake...when...well when he wanted to fuck people !  
Fuck ! How had he not thought about it ! This was the most inappropriate cake he could ever bake. And what does this shit said about him ?! He didn’t want to fuck Em ! He was straight ! STRAIGHT ! Was that information to much for his dumb brain ? What Freud would say ? And who gave a fuck about what a old dead german psychiatrist thought ! 

“Why are you making funny faces ?” Marshall asked, not really understanding what the internal turmoil of the younger man was. “Nothing !” He answered, in a tone that didn’t sound at all suspicious while showing a piece of cake in is mouth. Marshall kept looking at him weird...why ? He was just eating ca...oh ! Right ! He also made pasta ! And people didn’t usually started they meal with dessert. “One thing’s you’ll learn about me !” He said chewing the cake “I can survive on a diet made of sweets, chips and vodka" Em’s face became more serious. “Well no more vodka for now !”  
Oh ! It’s true...he was on rehab…  
“How do you feel right now ?” He asked, eating his own plate.  
“Good i guess…”  
“ Well in a couple of hours you won't !”  
“What do you mean ?” He asked, not really understanding where this conversation was going. The man had a crazy straight face, he looked at him in the eyes and talk with a firm tone. “We need to talk a bit about your addiction.” 

Oh ! So this is where this conversation was going...Good ! He really didn’t want to talk about this ! It was humiliating as fuck ! And he already made enough of a fool of himself ! 

“First step to recovery dude ! Admit that you have a problem !”  
He swallowed bitterly...he wasn’t sure he was capable of that of that. Just two days ago he was putting pills in his mouth and repetition to himself that nothing was wrong, he literally said to Em last month that it just took pills to cope with the stress !  
“I know it’s hard men ! But you have to do it ! For yourself at least !” 

He swallowed painfully and nodded. Em was right, he nearly died the other day and if it wasn’t for him, he would be locked up in a cell or in a shitty rehab center. He had to do it otherwise he would never be able to be healthy...He would never be able to to be a responsible father. He would never be able to be happy… 

“Okay...so...i guess my name is Colson and...and i’m an addict…”  
The older man looked at him with a comforting smile  
“My name is Marshall and i’m a recovering addict nice to meet you !”  
He gently tap on his shoulder, Kell’s slightly smiled...why on heart was he dizzy every goddamn time the dude touched him ?  
“So...do you feel like talking about your addiction ?”  
“I don't know” He replied “ I don't really know what to say ?”  
“How about i ask you some questions and you reply ?”  
He nodded...nervously eating another slice of cake.  
“When did you start doing pills ?”” 

Colson taught about it for a couple of seconds...when ? It’s been so fucking long…  
“When i was sixteen i guess...it was to have a bit of fun with my buddies but i quickly started doing much stronger stuff, and when Emma told me she was pregnant i was taking a lot of heroin. I...I immediately knew i had a problem with it...you...you can't stick a needle on your arm without knowing you have a problem !” 

He felt annoyed telling that...those memories were painful he didn’t like to think about it. Certainly not in front of a man he admire...but fuck he had to do this shit !  
“ You did stop taking heroin tho ?” Marshall asked, his eyes were full of concerned, like he understood what he was going through...like he cared. 

“I did...i overdosed several times before so i really thought there were no way out...so i...i attempt suicide...i survived...it felt like...like i sign. So i decide to get clean, no matter how hard it was...not always in the healthiest way…”  
“By taking pills you mean ?”  
“Not just pills...booze...coke...shrooms...really everything that could make me high when i was missing heroin to much, but it never really affected my life...i was taking stuff mostly in a recreational way, when i felt to bad i’d rather call a friend, but i guess there really was a turning point when…” 

Shit ! He couldn’t say that ! He stopped talking staring at the bottle of sparkling water.  
“Come on dude ! You can say it ! I won't judge you, when Proof died i real..”  
“Exactly those are real reason !” He said, sounding even more nervous. “Mine is ridiculous!” 

Em looked at him not really understanding.  
“What ? A bitch dumped you ?”  
“No...no it was...it’s stupid really...when killshot was out...i kinda start taking a lot more…”

Colson was red with embarrassment if he ever had a street creed...she was dead and buried. Em just nodded...he didn’t seemed that judgmental...why ?

“I see...i guess it kinda was the goal you know, when you try to write a diss...i mean "Rap Devil" made me angry…”  
“I’m not blaming you !” The younger man immediately said, chicks still flush red. “It’s not you ! Really...it’s just that...this song put me in front of all the fucked up shit that i did...and pills were an easy way out…” 

Em nodded again but he didn’t said anything, there was an awkward silence. The blond rapper stretched his hands feelings uncomfortable as hell. He felt like a mediocre human being, who had to go through the awful experience of talking about his worst life moments. 

“You know” The brunette said after a couple of (painfull) minutes “If talking this much about you makes you uncomfortable, you can ask me questions too !” 

What the fuck was he supposed to ask ? How big is dick was ? Like he cared !  
He didn’t care at all...really he didn’t had any idea of what he cou…

“Do you have a girlfriend ?!” 

Fuck !! Why was his mouth faster than is brain ! This shit will kill him one day !  
The older man looked at him and smirked a bit. 

“Hum...wasn’t expecting this one...yeah...nah man i don't have any lady…” 

Okay now what was he supposed to answer ? “Cool” ? “I’m sorry for you” ? “Yeah bitches are too complicated” ? He didn’t knew, himself how he was supposed to feel with this information. And he wasn’t hiding a smile behind his hand ! At all ! 

“Let’s unpack your stuff !” Marshall stood up and grabbed a piece of cake. “I get why you call this shit the fuck me cake !” 

Christ he was never gonna be able to survive ! 

The next days were draining ! His body had to get used to the absence of pills, making him go through several awful states. Sometimes it felt like his entire body was on fire the pain was so much to bear that he started scratching himself to the point of bleeding, sometimes his head felt so heavy that the only thing he could do was staring at the walls of his room. Sometimes his stomach hurt so much that he puke and puke over and over again while not being able to eat anything. Sometimes he woke up, sweaty in the middle of the night, feeling like he was swallowed by anxiety and paranoia. Sometimes he cried for hours for no particular reason...he wasn’t really new to all of those and this shit had been much harder to deal with when he was trying to quit heroin. But it still was awful...waking up everyday feeling sore and sleep deprived, going through the day feeling like a zombie and not being able to eat...all of those were terrible experiences that he never thought he had to gro through again. 

Marshall being concern by his well being called his doctor several times, the man always said the same thing. This was normal...this was his body getting used to the absence of substances. The rapper insisted on giving Kells some drugs that could help him recover, but the blond man always refused...he knew himself if he took some stuff he will slowly start his shit all over again telling himself that it was “no big deal.”

During the first five days they barely talk to each other, mostly because Colson spent his days in his bed, desperately trying to rest, or in the bathroom, scratching himself or puking whatever he had left in the stomach. Em really tried to make things easier for him, he made him some juices (albeit kale juice really did taste terrible), he canceled his meetings with the AA, saying that he was too sick to go there and that he would take responsibility of everything and he called his daughter for him, to reassure her. 

“Your dad is handling this like a champ princess don't you worry ! He will be back in no time ! All buffed and ripped like Thor !” 

The younger man laughed hearing that...yeah maybe not, unless he could enter into a time capsule and do nothing but workout for an entire year straight. He felt shitty for not being able to talk to his daughter, but it was for the best...he was sick as hell, and she would get worried, he didn’t want her to get worried…

The sixth day he felt a bit better, he was able to walk and move with no particular pain.  
He sigh in relief when he woke up without feeling sick nor sore, he still felt tired and unable to have a proper night but this was a good start. He went to the kitchen, desperately wanting some coffee. He found Marshall drinking some weird green stuff in a large cup, wearing what looked like gym clothing. There were definitely worst views !

“Not sleeping ?” He asked looking at him.  
Colson shook his head. “Nan...i can't sleep man...you neither ?”  
Em smirked “I sleept ! It’s 6 in the morning dude !”  
“Exactly ! Who wake up this early ? At 6AM in usually not in bed yet !”  
The older man look at him at bit amused. “Can’t say i’m surprised ! I didn’t picture yourself as a morning person…”  
“Well i totally picture yourself as a weird health nut ! I mean look at you with your green juice ! You look like a fucking beauty influencer ! I’m pretty sure you are going to workout !” The brunette lift an eyebrow finishing his drink.  
“First fuck you ! Second i am going to workout ! My sparring partner is coming today ! Wanna join us ?” Kelly smirked at bit, happy to be finally able to fool around.  
“Sparring partner like boxing ? “  
He nod. “Yup ! I've been boxing for severals years now ! You’ll see Olly is a cool dude ! He is old and don't talk much but he knows his shit.”  
He guessed he could do a bit of box against an old man...at least he wouldn’t feel that much like a failure...and he was awake anyway !  
“Sure ! Why not !” 

(...)  
Fuck ! what was he doing here ! He never expected boxing to be this much of traumatic experience ! Olly was indeed an old man...but he was crazy ripped ! He barely had the time to put some gloves on that he was already on the floor. 

“Easy there Olly !” Marshall yelled. “The kid is knew to this stuff !”  
“I’m bored dude !” The man finally said after what felt like long second of silence. “Come on get here so i can kick a proper ass !”  
The rapper laugh a bit and get on the ring. “ As i record...the last time you were able to kick my ass was a long time ago ! You mind if i take your place Colson ?”  
“No...no...no” He said living the ring as fast as he could. “I’m..i’m just going to watch ! So do your shit and don't mind me !” 

He sat down on the floor and looked at the older man putting on boxing gloves. They both started moving and holy shit ! Em was actually very good at boxing ! His moves were fast, he gave punches that seemed to hurt like hell, and took big hits like it was nothing ! It was kinda mesmerizing to watch ! And annoying ! Was there something the man wasn’t good at ?! 

Ableit his interest for the technicality of the sport quickly stopped , as he slowly started to look at the man and his moves for...others reasons. His arms good damn !  
“Okay little girl ! Enough with the warm up ! Let’s start serious shit !” Olly said with an almost sadistic smile. So this was a warm up ? They had been punching at each other for the past thirty minutes ! What on heart could be “serious shit” if this wasn't ? Em nodded enthusiastically, he took a sip of water then took his shirt of.  
“Come here old man !” 

Okay now if was scared ! The punches he gave were terrifying ! He swore to himself that he would never ever start an argument with this dude, feeling grateful that he didn’t came to his place to knock him off when he released Killshot...he wouldn’t have survived ! But...the situation was rather...pleasing ? How many people could say that they saw Eminem boxing, his bare torso exposed ? Kells knew the man was ripped...he had felt his muscles when the man held him...but he didn’t expect to be this thrilled seeing it. He could tell just by looking at him that he was strong as hell ! He could probably lift him effortlessly…He bit his lower lip, scruting his differents body parts. The way sweat felt down his neck, the curves of his back and how they changed when he moved, the piercing blue of his eyes the firmness of his stomach...He suddenly felt very hot and out of breath, pants getting tighter and tighter...okay...something was definitely wrong with him ! He was neither drunk or high, he couldn’t even blame a state of emotional distress that could twist his brain. He woke up feeling good and normal ! So...why ? Why on heart was he getting hard while watching Em box ! He couldn’t find any reason or excuse for that ! And fuck ! He was wearing a skinny jean...okay he had to get out of here...RIGHT NOW ! 

“Hum if you guys don't mind i’m gonna leave !” He said hiding his crotch with his jacket.  
“This entire room smell like old people sweat...and i don't want to watch you guys breaking each other’s nose.” Did he sounded calm enough ? He wasn’t exactly sure ! 

“Calm down princess ! It’s a match for fun...no one is going Mike Tyson mode !”  
Colson nervously nod. “Yeah ! Yeah ! See you later !” He leaved, running as fast as he could.  
“Your new bro is kinda weird Marshall !” Olly said, as he watch the man struggle to open the door. The bathroom, he needed to go to the bathroom ! 

He jumped into the shower, taking of his clothes at the speed of light. Good ! He was rock hard ! Leaking precum...how ? He did nothing but look at Em ! He let burning water run, in a desperate attempt to calm himself. Fuck is booner was starting to hurt ! He started stroking himself thinking about hot lady’s like Jessica Alba or Megan Fox. But he quickly had an headache, cause every fantasy he tried to build was replaced by Marshall’s face.  
It was a battle against himself, that just kept him painfully hard and frustrated. He let himself fall against the wall. Why ?! He was supposed to be straight ! Straight! He was straight ! 

He didn’t knew if this was due to exhaustion or arousal, but his “im straight” loop was quickly replaced but “what if i wasn't ?”. Now that he thought about it...he always said to his daughter to not make fun of queer people, had always told her that he will love her regardless of who she was attracted to. He always trashed at his friends when they were making homophobic remarks. So why was he putting himself in such an absurd state of distress when he was obviously aroused because of a man ! ...He thought about his father...suddenly feeling bitter...although Colson still viewed him as a good father, the man had many, many flaws...homophobia being one. He had been told so many times that being gay was wrong ! Had been so obsessed with Kell’s manliness. “Boys don't cry...don't move your hands like that...Stop smiling like this...don't wear that…” He could remember all of this shit ! Not pleasant memories...oh...he was soft now ! Well at least know he new that if he wanted his hard on to go down all he had to do was thinking about his father ! 

His skin was becoming red and wrinkly. He step out of the shower, taking a couple of seconds to look at himself. “Okay...dude ! Your are not straight !” He said looking to his own reflection. “Your not straight and that’s okay !” ...Wow ! He was surprised at how easy it felt.  
The thought felt very natural actually...Yeah he apparently had a (big) crush on a dude. So what ? He was still Kelly ! He would still eat spicy cheetos and like old horror movies. He would still be able to play guitar and rap just the same. He will love his daughter just as much, no friend would reject him...nothing was new...he had a small smile, feeling oddly relieved. 

He dried himself with a towel...yeah but there was another problem...the man he had a crush on was not a random dude...it was fucking Eminem ! He was so much out of his fucking league! He sigh...the man was more powerful and more talented than he’ll ever be and was probably not into emotionally unstable rappers who made inappropriate comments on their daughters ! Fuck ! That’s why he mostly fucked fans ! They were seeing him through the distorted prism of admiration so he didn’t have to cope with his self esteem problems ! 

Christ ! Do this mean he would spend all of his rehab silently crushing on the dude and trying to awkwardly flirt, cause he was terrible at hiding when he liked someone ? ...Probably. God ! He felt like a teen again ! When he was in love with Tracy ! The hot girl with ginger hair…He was fucked ! He was beyond fucked ! 

He took the stairs and went to the kitchen again...he was going to drown his sorrow in vodka...oh yeah he couldn't do that either...okay so it would but pop tarts ! Please God ! He hoped there were pop tarts in this house ! He opened the pantry.  
Chia seeds...Hemp seeds...Organic almond butter, Sugar-free granola, Whole wheat bread…Fucking chickpea flour ?! For fuck sake ! This really was a beauty influencer kitchen ! He just wanted some sugar to cope with the fact that he was going to be near a man he was attracted to without ever fucking with him ! Was this too much to ask ?! 

“Why is your head buried in my pantry ?” 

Oh ! He hadn't noticed he wasn’t alone anymore. “Nothing really i was just..ouch !’  
He slammed his head against the pantry door and immediately felt his nose bleeding.  
Great ! Absolutely great ! This couldn’t get any worse ! 

“What the fuck are you doing !" Marshall asked, looking at the man covering his bleeding nose. “Did you broke something ?”  
“I didn’t did this shit on purpose...i just...i…”  
He felt two large hands gently cupping his face. “It’s okay...I know how overwhelming rehab can be...i did much worst shit ! Let me see...”  
Colson moved his head to give the man better access to his nose, not being able to feel anything but those warm hands.  
“It’s nothing...you're just bleeding ! Let me get you some ice !”

Maybe his days here won’t be that painful after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is ! See you for the next one from Em POV  
> Please leave comments i reply to all of them  
> Love ya !


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is all Em POV ! Enjoy guys !

“I’m going to buy groceries !” Maria said. “Is there anything you want in particular ?”  
“Yeah pick some cookies, you know like Oreo or stuff”. The older woman looked at him confused. “Since when do you eat those ?”  
“It’s not for me, it’s for the kid ! He kept whining about not findings sugary shit in the pantry.”  
She smirked “You mean like all of your daughters did.”  
He laugh a bit “Yeah ! Like my daughters !”  
“Anything else ?”  
“Hum...oh yeah ! I almost forgot, bring some of those overly sweet fruits that i hate !”  
She kept looking at him with that mischievous glaire.  
“What ? He can’t just feed himself cookies !”  
“Nothing...i would love to be on rehab at your place tho !”  
She left, laughing heavily. 

What does she meant by that ? Those days Maria was acting really odd ! She always joked a lot, she always had an opinion about everything, but since Colson arrived he couldn’t tell if she was joking or suspicious. What was to be suspicious about ? 

He was just being there for a buddy ! He sat down on his couch...okay...maybe more than a buddy. Drug addiction was awful but he really didn’t see himself opening his doors for every one who might need rehab but...he really couldn’t tell why...he had a really soft spot for the man ! Maybe because he was seeing himself a lot in those struggles, maybe because no one had ever go to the length he went to, just to apologize...maybe because he found him cute...he stopped thinking about it, he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know…

He shouldn’t be sitting there wondering why the dude was on his house...because he was now ! It was the only thing that mattered ! Rehab was rough ! The man will need someone to reassure him, not existential question who don't have any importance. He stood up and quickly climbed the stairs.

He looked at his watch : 12AM...shouldn’t he be awake by know ? Okay he seemed to be more of a night bird but he just felt flat asleep almost 24 hours ago. He looked at the door of “his” room, not really knowing if he should knock, maybe he needed some privacy ?

Oh fuck it ! He was in charge of his rehab ! It was his job to make sur he was okay !  
Privacy or not ! He entered the room, finding the man lying on the bed, face crazy pale and stained by tears...his heart clench. 

“You okay dude ?” He asked, trying to sound as reassuring as he could.  
The younger man slowly turned his head too look at him. He looked embarrassed but too drained to hide it. 

“Great ! I feel like i got hit by a truck and i’m fucking depressed for not fucking good reason !”  
Marshall slowly sat down on the bed, he felt like hugging him, like at the hospital he thought. But immediately retracted. At the hospital they were both tired and overwhelmed. Not right now ! So he tried a joke instead. 

“You talk like all of my daughters when then got their periods !”  
Colson looked at him then made a small smile...Fuck ! Who on earth was this pretty when they smiled ?  
“You mean that i thought that it was drugs when it was just period ! Great ! It means all i have to do is take some aspirin !” 

He jiggle taking a look at the dark circle around his eyes and the scratch around his nose.  
“Do you mind if i take a look ?” He asked, the blond rapper shyly nodded. He didn’t really needed to look at the man’s face, he knew that his nose wasn’t broken but he really couldn’t explain why he felt at ease when he touched him. It felt like touching someone precious...someone he wanted to take care of. He cupped his face as gently as he could,he didn’t knew if the man realized it but he hummed when he did it. Marshall felt thrilled, but forced himself to focus on the kid...rehab ! it was a rehab ! Nothing more ! 

“You don't have any bruise...you will be fine…”  
Kell’s nod, letting his face fall on the bed. “Cool…”  
Fuck...he seemed wrecked...it made him feel so bad ! It was unbearable to look at him like this !

“You want me to bring you something to eat ? You didn’t put anything in your system since a while !”  
The younger man made a funny face, looking at him with a cynical smile.  
“If you give me another of those awful kale juices is swear to god i’m gonna die !”  
“I was thinking about a carrot and ginger one ! They great for hangover so they might be great for pill addiction !” The blond man look at him with dark eyes.  
“Okay ! Okay ! I get it ! No juice…i asked Maria too pick cookies and fruits like mangos or peaches...all the shit that i hate !”  
He laugh a bit. “Thank you ! I will take those !”  
“You should drink something at least ! Even if it’s just ice tea or Cola !”  
Kelly sigh, looking rather annoyed. “I only drink Cola when there is whisky in it…”  
The brunette rolled his eyes. “Then drink water bitch !” He stood up and grabbed the  
sparkling water that was in the mini fridge. 

“Here !” Colson tried to stand up, but his arms were shaking like crazy, he clenched his teeth and tried to make his muscles move. “Easy there !” Marshall immediately said, forcing him to stay on the bed, lightly pushing on his shoulders.  
“You have to stay hydrated otherwise you're going to have terrible cramps...here !” The man tried to grab the bottle of sparkling water but his hands were shaking too much...oh sweet memories...Marshall thought about those days where everything hurt so much that he had to be feed with a spoon for days and days.  
“Let me…” He opened the bottle and bringing it to Kell's mouth. The younger man slowly drank. 

“This is humiliating…” He whimpered between two sips. Em lied down next to him looking at him in the eyes.  
“Dude i know it hard but sometime we have to admit wee need help !” Kelly had a sad smile.  
“It’s easy for you to say ! You're not the one who need help to drink a fucking bottle of water...fuck ! i was feeling good yesterday ! Why am i feeling this bad now !” 

The brunette gently looked at him, he stroked his hair without really thinking about it...his hair were so soft ! ...He quickly stopped, he was being creepy right now ! Why on earth was Colson so red ? Whatever…He needed to reassure the kid...he grunt a bit...he would have to talk about embarrassing memories...arg ! this better never leave the room ! 

“When i was on rehab i was such a zombie that i needed help to wipe my ass ! So don't tell me anything about humiliation ! Believe me you're handling this like a champ ! “The blond man looked at him with big eyes “Really ? Jesus ! I’m...i’m sorry man !” 

He let his head fall heavy on the pillow looking at the walls.  
“I know i shouldn’t complain…” He slowly said. “I’m getting clean at your place ! I’m fucking lucky...sorry for whining like a bitch…”  
Marshall smirked. “It’s okay ! i raised three girls ! I can deal with people whining.” 

There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds, then Kelly asked with a small voice.  
“Did you really believed it when you said i’m handling this like a champ ?”  
“Dude ! I don't know if you realize ! You stopped taking pills, coke and booze overnight ! Without taking any substitute or medicine to help you ! You have balls ! ”  
He jiggled a bit ! “Marshall Mathers telling me i have balls...i can die peacefully !”  
“Don't do it tho ! I’m planning to take five percent of everything you will ever make as payment for my kindness !” He kept laughing, harder this time.  
“I guess i own you this ! Heck i can even write an entire album named “Eminem is great...i will never dissed him again, love.”  
“The tittle is a bit too long...just name it “i meet good” and will be good”  
“Alright...i’ll do that…” 

(...)  
Em’s phone kept buzzing...he rolled his eyes...it was Dre again. Since he told the man that Kell’s would be doing his rehab at his place, the man called him every five minutes. He immediately told him that he would be patiently waiting for the moment “Em will lose his cool and beat the shit out of him”. And obviously the man couldn’t keep his mouth shut so he called Royce and 50 as well. Now it felt like the three dudes were watching all this shit with a bag of popcorn waiting for it to blow. And it was fucking annoying ! His life was not a reality TV show. And he wasn’t going to lose his cool with the Kid. The Kid was cute...almost too cute !  
Besides Em wasn’t a boy anymore ! He could handle it when he was angry ! He could stay calm…

“FUCK YOU KIM ! FUCK YOU !”  
Okay maybe not with Kim…

He kept angrily yelling at the phone, while the younger women yelled as well.  
“YOU FUCK YOU ! YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT MARSHALL”  
“DON'T CALL ME THAT BITCH!”  
“I CALL YOU WHATEVER I WANT ! ASSHOLE !”  
“GO FUCK YOURSELF !!!” 

He hang out the phone, angrily dropping him on the kitchen counter, nervously rubbing his head. “Is there something wrong ?” Asked a small voice.  
Oh sit ! He woke up Colson...obviously ! You are screaming like a pig you dumbass ! He thought. Oh ! The man didn’t looked as tired as a couple of hours ago…

“Oh...i’m sorry i woke you up…” Kelly rubbed his eyes with shaky hands...does this guy had the ability to look pretty in every fucking situation ?  
“You didn’t…” He said. “I was awake since a while...but i heard you screaming so…”  
“It was nothing ! I was just chatting with Kim”  
The younger man frowned. “It really didn’t sounded like a chat...were you arguing with her ?”  
Marshall smirked, looking at one of his family pictures. “We were planning some family vacation, things quickly got heated...but really it’s the usual with Kim, yelling and shouting is kinda our way to communicate.” 

Albeit he didn’t always felt this hangry when he talk to her...Christ ! How on earth this women he was no longer with since more than a decade could still get so easily on his nerves ? He needed to cool himself otherwise he will yelled at the blond rapper as well and he didn’t wanted that. He grabbed a pen and the first thing he could write on..a napkin...perfect !

“What are you doing ?” The man asked, looking at the brunette scraping on his napkin.  
“Just writing some really nice stuff about my ex…”  
Colson laugh a bit. “So you do really write anytime your mad !”  
“Much better than really beating people up !” He answered while trying to find several word who rhyme with “bitch”.  
“Like you don't !" Kell’s said, rising and eyebrow  
“I don't !” He answered, slightly annoyed. “I’m not a violent dude !”  
Colson looked at him with a weird face...like he didn’t believe him.  
“Bro...you murder fucking everyone ! Kamikaze was a slaughterhouse !”  
Em smirked...it’s true...he did dissed everyone in this album...and he had a lot of fun doing it.  
“On songs ! You’r mad ! You write and angry song about it...problem solved !”  
The younger man still didn’t seemed that convinced…  
“Yeah...You still look like you're mad at everything and everyone tho !” He said pointing his face. 

Marshall sigh...he swear to good if the kid wasn’t on rehab and in need of care he would beat the...crap ! It wasn’t doing much to not make him look like a violent dude !  
“I mean what’s wrong with it ! ” He asked, almost shyly. Colson immediately answered.  
“There is nothing wrong with you face ! You're very handsome !” 

He covered his mouth with his hand aggressively blushing. Wow ! Em really wasn’t expecting that...it was...God ! It was so damn adorable ! 

“Sorry i’m telling shit” The younger man mumble looking like he wanted to bury himself.  
The man smirked a bit flattered, when was the last time someone called him handsome ?  
“Hum...i...i mean...there is worst things than being called handsome...but...yeah i just don't smile much... “ 

The blond rapper noded. “You look like you're permanently playing a try not to smile challenge.” Em frowned clenching is theet a bit.  
“...I would really like to tell you that you're full of shit but you're kinda right...my younger daughter always say that i have a resting bitch face…”  
The blond rapper laugh again. “What a nice way to talk about her father ! “  
“Dude ! Wait for your daughter teenage years ! You’ll see how she talk to you !”  
“My Casie is an angel ! She won’t be anything but adorable !” 

Em had to strangle a laughter...ah...young father naivety  
“Yeah ! Yeah ! That’s what i said about all of my daughters ! They all crazy different...yet they teenage years were the worst for all of them ! Alaina was permanently yelling at everyone all the time, Ailie was in a permanent bad mood and Whitney is constantly staring at her phone while making sassy remarks ! ”  
“Which one is the worst ?”  
“Probably the first one ! But the third is no fun either...i feel like she is permanently trying to prove that she is right and i’m wrong !”  
“Kinda look like my teenage years...except that i got tattoos all over me and stopped living with my dad to be a punk !”  
“Was your father that strict ?” Marshall asked, after all he wasn’t the only one with a fucked up family. 

The younger man thought about it for a couple of second before twisting is mouth.  
“I’m not sure...he isn’t a bad guy...he did his best to raise me...but he was a weird dude...still is ! He was a missionary so every fucking thing had to be about God...what God plans were for me and yadi yada. I think my interest for rap and rock came from all the anticlerical imagery, i really needed something to get away from all of this God shit ! But we do get along very well now ! He is one of the only people of my family who knows i’m on rehab !” 

Yup ! The kid also had a fucked up childhood !  
“I think...the biggest challenge when you're a father who didn’t really had good role models is to learn to be a good parents...my biggest fear is always to no be god enough with my kids.” Kelly looked at him in the eyes and aggressively nod.  
“Yes ! I feel so much like this ! I’m constantly scared of disappointing Casie…”  
His face became darker, like he just reminded were he was and why.  
“Emma let me talk to her an hour ago...she’s just asked me when things would get better…i should be there ! Taking care of her…” 

Crap ! Now he wanted to hug him again ! ...Calm down ! Not now ! ...Never actually !  
What was he thinking about ! “She will understand ! Your won't be gone forever, you're here now to be with her in the future !’ The blond rapper made a sad smile...eyes glued to the kitchen counter, he closed his eyes, what was he thinking about ? And who gave him the right to be this fucking beautiful ! He looked better than most of the girls he knew ! 

“Thank you…” He said with a soft voice.  
“Stop thanking me man !” Em mumbled. “I’m just letting you crash here !”  
“You're not !” Colson answered, looking at im straight in the eyes, looking more serious than ever. “You forgave me when you didn’t had too, you made sure my career could keep going, you called an ambulance when i was overdosing, you accepted to become responsible of my rehab...you did so fucking much ! I know i won’t be able to help you like you did but...but if you ever need anything i swear on my daughter’s head i’ll got your back !” 

Wow ! That was passionate ! The kid sounded like him when he tried to told Dree how grateful he felt. He didn’t really knew what to answer. “Yeah be fucking grateful dude ?”  
“Okay ! I let you crash here but it’s because i find you oddly cute ?” Na ! He better keep his mouth shut...let’s change the subject. 

“Hum...My daughter would be back next week...she’s really into weird edgy movie those days...she gave me a shit ton of them to watch.”  
“How many of them have you seen ?”  
“None...man i’m not watching a five hour long movie name Nymphomaniac and made by a dude name Lars Von Trier !” The blond rapper jiggled.  
“Yeah i wouldn’t watch that either…”  
“My daughter really wanted me too look at it tho, you bored enough to watch it with me ?” Colson didn’t said anything, he just nod and smiled. 

Fuck ! he almost missed a heartbeat ! 

(...)  
This movie was a nightmare ! When Kell’s sat on the couch next to him with a giant bowl of popcorn and a big box of cookie, Em got a bit pissed : he hated when people were eating food next to him ! Especially during a movie. But after two hours of this shit he was grateful ! The stuff that was happening in this movie was freaking weird, and looking at Kelly's happy face chewing popcorn was much less disturbing. 

“So...she left her husband and her baby to get beaten up by this weird dude ?” He asked, looking at the screen.  
“Yup !”  
“ But why !! Her man was okay with her fucking other men’s ! And the weird dude is not even banging her !”  
“ I don't know ! I didn't made this movie !” 

The story of a woman with awful sex addiction problems who kept making fucked up choices in order to have moore and moore nasty and weird sex. That ! For five hours ! 

“I really don't know what my daughter like in this shit ! She’s sixteen ! She should be watching chick flicks like Mama Mia or Dirty Dancing…”  
Colson looked at him then smirked  
“Dirty Dancing is only a reference for old people dude !”  
“Shut up !”  
“But really how long is this shit ! I had the time to eat three giant bowls of popcorn !”  
“It’s been three hours...so only two more to go…”

They both sigh heavily, the movie kept going...she had a self abortion, she hurt herself because of too much masturbation, she start working for the mafia cause why the hell not ! She started dating a much much much younger women, then was betrayed by her, beaten up by her ex, saved by the old nice dude and just when it looked like there was a glimpse of hope, the old guy tried to rape her, so she shoot him and run away…Great ! Five hours just for this crappy ending ! It sure was worth it ! 

Colson didn’t made it till the end, he felt fat asleep on his shoulder after four hours.  
Em thought about waking him up at first...but the man was struggling with sleep those days and he didn’t really mind having him sleeping on his shoulder. It felt rather nice actually. He could feel the softness of his hair, feel his warmth…He looked at his face for a couple of second as the title kept rolling. He had gorgeous lips ! They looked crazy smooth.He was on the verge of stroking his hair when his phone buzzed loudly. Crap ! Dre again ! He tried to lift Colson head as gently as he could...maybe he should bring a blanket...the phone kept buzzing.

“For fuck sake ! Dre what’s wrong with you !” He said, doing his best to not speak to loud, not wanting to woke up Kell’s.  
“You finally answered !” Said the man, sounding crazy satisfied.  
“I didn’t broke his nose okay ! We didn’t faught ! No one is dead !”  
Dree sighed heavily. “Ah...i did a bet with 50, i promised i would give him my ferrari if you beat the kid at the end of the week...so could you ?”  
“I’m not beating up the dude just because you were bored and put a bet on your Ferrari !’  
“ And here i thought that you had my back !”  
“I have your fucking back ! For real shit ! Not your Ferrari !”  
“Come on dude ! I’m sure he gets on your nerve ! I’m sure he sleeps with his shoes on and only eat junk food ! Aren’t you annoyed ?” 

He did sleep with his shoes on...and he did eat a lot of junk...and it was annoying...but still !  
“I’m not beating someone up just because they eat cookies ! The dude is on rehab you could be a bit understanding !”  
“Yeah ! I still don't understand why he is doing is rehab at your place man !!!”  
“Shhh...don't talk this loud !” Em whispered, making sure that he didn’t woke up the younger man.  
“What ? why” Dre asked, sounding much less untishiast...probably sad at the idea of losing his car. 

“He is sleeping and i don't want t…”  
“JESUS MOTHER FUCKING CHRIST !!! I KNEW IT!”  
Marshall almost jumped. Why was he screaming like that ? “What ?”  
“You fucking fucked him ! I knew it ! I fucking knew you're faggy days weren’t over ! Oh ! Boy i can’t wait to tell 50…”  
“Shut the fuck up dude !” Em said starting to get really pissed. “I didn't...i didn’t fucked him ! God what’s wrong with you ! ...And i never had faggy days !”  
“Oh yeah ! So why is he on your bed ? He was having nightmare and you volunteer to comfort him ?” The brunette sigh heavily...the older Dre was getting the childish he turned.  
“Is not in my bed ! We are on the fucking couch ! We were watching a movie okay ! Is that okay or is it to gay for you ?”  
Dre kept laughing. “Watching a movie is not gay...but whispering so you don't wake up your poor little kid you so generously open your door for, when we all know you like fucking dude...yup this is definitely gay!”  
“Stop bringing that stupid story up ! One guy suck my dick once !”  
“Five ! At least five ! And you offered Anthony a chocolate cake !”  
“ So what ! I was just trying to be nice ! What’s wrong with that !”  
“ You fucked him and offered him a chocolate cake ! That’s fucking gay !”  
“ Not everyone is gay Dre ! Just your wife !”

One day he will murder the dude ! How on earth did the man remembered this will all the stuff he did with men’s ? Okay maybe he didn’t knew that he also bringed Anthony to an amusement park, and that they had a couple of drinks and diners together, and that he actually fucked him a lot more than once. But that wasn’t gay ! That was curiosity ! Or boredom ! Or being a little bit open minded ! Or anything but gay ! 

“Yeah ! Yeah ! You keep telling that ! Now i know how i can get my ferrari back !”  
“ Wha…”  
“50 is gonna laugh is ass off dude ! You're obviously busy being all lovey dovey with your new boyfriend so see you later man !”  
“The fuck ! Dre ? Hey !!” 

Dree hanged out the phone laughing like crazy. For a couple of second Marshall really thought about throwing his phone through the room. But then he remembered Kelly was sleeping on the couch. What was wrong with this guy ! Since when helping someone in need was bad ! He looked at the younger man, peacefully sleeping on the couch, he couldn’t help but smile a little.

Crap It was cold out there ! And the dude was only wearing a shirt ! He could bring him a blanket, or maybe carry him to the be...wait ! If there was any other buddy he cared about in his home...would he even think about that shit ? Cause he really didn’t see himself carrying 50 to bed...the man was way to heavy anyway ! 

Hell ! Actually if one of his buddy feel asleep on his shoulder he would slap his face and push him right away ! But he couldn’t picture himself do that to Kell’s...ever… okay he found the men cute...but...was there more than that ? When was the last time he thought about bringing a blanket to someone ? He did that a lot for his daughters...and his girlfriend...

Oh fuck...oh mother fucking fuck...he kinda knew the kid was fuckable...but...but...Christ !  
“I do want to fuck him…” He mumble looking at the man. Crap ! He should have thought about this ! Well...he did...but every time the idea popped in his head (and it happened a lot) he just immediately forced himself to think about something else ! And now he was fucking stuck ! What on earth was he supposed to do ! God ! He rather die than call Dre again, it would make the man way too happy...and he wouldn’t give him any advice, he will just laugh and tell this to mother fucking everyone ! Crap ! He didn’t have any gay dude he cou…What the fuck was he talking about ! Of course he fucking had !

He immediately grabbed his phone, thanking himself for not destroying it. He knew who he could call ! He tapped a number and let the phone ring for a couple of seconds. A sweet and warm voice answered. “Marshall ? Hello my love ?” 

Yup ! This was definitely Elton !  
“Dude i really need your help right now !” He said moving to the kitchen in order to not wake Colson up, cause really it would suck if he woke up during this specific conversation !  
“Oh my god ! Sweetie is there something wrong ?” Elton asked, voice full of concern.  
“It depends what you call wrong...if by wrong you mean someone is dead…then no nothing is wrong...if by wrong you mean i have a big problem in my couch then yeah something is !”  
“What ? Did you stained the gorgeous pillows i sent to you ?”  
Oh yeah ! Those ugly ass pillows ! They were awful Marshall gave them to Kim a very long time ago. “No i promise your pillows are fine ! By problem i mean...MGK”  
“Oh ! Is he getting on your nerves sweetheart ?” He asked, sounding a bit relieved.  
“No...i mean it’s actually quite the opposite…”  
“Then what’s the problem ? You regret taking charge of his rehab ?”  
“No...it’s...it’s...fuck Elton i kinda want to fuck him !” He whispered afraid of being heard.  
“Ooooh...Jesus dear mother Lord !” Oh ! This was a very Elton way to swear !  
Then the man start laughing...Fuck ! what was so funny about all this shit !  
“Quit laughing fairy mom ! I didn’t call you for that !”  
“I’m sorry darling...i swear i’m really not trying to be rude...but my god i wasn’t expecting that ! This is really unexpected !” He said trying to calm himself.  
“What ? Me wanting to fuck a guy ?”  
“No darling ! I know you fucked several guys in the past !”  
“It was nothing ! Just one or two…”  
“Five ! At least…” Elton said in a monotoned ton.  
“Fuck ! Why did you guys all know how many dudes i fucked !”  
“Sweetie there is nothing wrong with you fucking guys ! Heck you have no idea how happy i am that we play on the same team !”  
“Were not !” Em said blushing. “I like chicks ! A lot !”  
“People are bi Marshall !” Elton answered sounding slightly annoyed.  
“I know people are bi ! My youngest daughter is fucking bi ! I’m...i’m just not...it’s just that...fuck i don't know how to explain...Kelly is really cool and good looking and cute...and…”  
“And you want to fuck him ! I get it !”  
“What am i fucking supposed to do !” Marshall asked sounding more and more nervous.  
“What do you mean ? Isn't that a good thing ?”  
“How could it be !” Em said, afraid that Elton won't help him after all. “It’s fucking inappropriate ! He is on rehab at my house ! I’m supposed to be responsible of him, not fuck him !” Elton suddenly seemed more serious. “Marshall you are not an animal ! I really don't picture you jumping on the kid !” 

He was not wrong ! He knew what sexual and domestic violence was and he will never do that shit to anyone ! But for fuck sake ! There was this dude sleeping on his couch and he was...he was attracted to him ! 

“That’s not the problem ! He is fucking young ! And i shouldn’t be feeling that ! That shit wasn’t planned !” He said not knowing if he was whispering or screaming anymore. “Gorgeous...You can’t control everything !” The singer said in a sweet tone.  
“Of course i can !” Marshall answered, his hands starting to slightly shake.  
“Control is the only thing that kept me sane dude ! And i intend to kept it that way !”  
“I’m sorry darling but i will never get your control freak side !” 

The rapper sat down on his kitchen floor, rubbing his head. Of course Elton won’t understand. The dude thrived in spontaneity, he was the kinda men who could woke up one day and be like “let’s spend nine fucking month in Paris ! For no good reason !” and be fine with it ! Em couldn’t do that ! It would fuck him up. He needed a schedule and boundaries a lot of them ! All of his past relationship since Kim had been the same. Women’s with a busy life and who like him, were cool with casual stuff. They meet, had sex, no sleepover unless they lived really far away,sometimes had dinner together, watch a couple of movies and most of the time move on. None of his buddy’s understood that this shit worked really well for him. They all bragged about the joy of marriage and shit. But he had been married ! Twice ! And it sucked ! It was painful and draining ! Colson was not in his fucking plans ! He didn’t knew how to deal with that ! What was he supposed to do with those feelings ! Usually when he was overwhelmed by something he just keep his distance...but he lived in his fucking house ! 

“Anyway ! The only thing i can tell you darling is that you're probably going to experience the sad queer experience !” Elton said, after what felt like a long moment of silence.  
“And what the fuck is that ?” Marshal asked raising an eyebrow.  
“It’s when you silently crush on someone your own gender, knowing that nothing would ever happen, while slowly dying inside !” 

He rolled his eyes...why did he called Elton again ?  
“So basically you're telling me that the only thing i can do is keeping my mouth shut and hoping it would go away ?”  
“Basically yeah...or fuck him !’  
“That’s not an option for fuck sake !”  
“If you say so !” Elton answered sounding oddly amused.  
“You know what Darling ? I promise i will be there ! You call my anytime ! I’ll be there to eat every of your lovesick stories!”  
“I’m not in love !” The brunette answered, blushing quite hard this time. 

He slide in phone on his pocket before going back to the living room, Colson was still sleeping on the couch...so he just stayed there, awkwardly standing up in the middle of the room, looking at the younger man...Christ ! He was fucked !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys wonder how long they gonna akwardly flirt pretending they d'ont have a crush on each other ? 
> 
> Also listen to Fairy Elton ! Bi people exist !


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter is a bit special cause Colson and Marshall realthionship is finally evolving.   
> You guys enjoy !

“Hi !...My name is Colson and i’m an addict !”   
“Hi ! Colson !” 

The blond rapper didn’t expect his first AA meeting to go this weel. He was scared shitless at the idea to be mocked or to become the laughing stock of the group, but none of this happen. No one seemed to care who he was and they listen to his story without judging him. It felt surprisingly good. He felt confident enough to share his insecurities : the fear of not being a good father, his trust issues, his self esteems problems, how depression could drag him down and how drugs made him feel better. He heard several different stories some way more graphic than his. At this moment he thought that he could found help there...but that he could also help other people. In a way he started to get Em’s motives a little bit better : When an addict is in front of you, someone who know what it means to miss a toxic substance, to be sick without it, you are both connected on a weird painful level. Connected in a way only people who went through the same shit understand…

“Your are stronger than you shame !”   
He said to a small lady who shared her story and how afraid she was about telling her family that she had been doing crack since a while. He didn’t felt that useful since a while, and it felt really good. 

“So ! How was this first meeting ?” Marshall asked when he came to pick him up.   
Kell’s smiled a bit. “It went really well actually...i didn’t thought it would help this much !”   
“You're killing this men ! Keep doing that and you’r rehab will over in less than two months !” 

The younger men did felt like he was killing this ! He didn’t felt sick since two days !   
He was able to sleep again and he almost didn’t had any cramps anymore. He did missed pills and coke a lot but everytime it became unbearable he talked to Em. The men always find the rights words. He found the balls to call his buddy Pete to talk about all the shit that was going in his life, forcing himself to acknowledge that none of his real friend will stop liking him because of drug addiction. And the dude had been a great support, telling him he could call anytime, anywhere, promising he would always answer. Emma even let him talk to Casie everyday. So really his rehab couldn't be going any better. 

The only problem was his massive crush on the older man. And god it was something !   
Since his daughter wasn’t supposed to be there until five days, they were basically all by themselves and being all alone with the rapper really wasn’t ideal ! Even though he knew he shouldn't be doing that he kept finding every possible excuse to spend time with the dude.   
Heck ! He was waking up at 6AM just to watch Marshal workouts.   
(Always making sure he wore baggy pants cause god knew he really needed those).   
He made sure they had lunch together, even if it meant ditching his cookies and cheetos for quinoa and egg white frittatas.   
During an afternoon he found the brunette taking a nap on the couch, a giant notebook in his hands. He couldn't help but take a picture that he preciously kept on his phone. 

It all felt both like a blessing and a nightmare ! Cause being with the rapper made him feel   
whole, made him want to be a better person and he never thought someone could make him feel like that. But the moore time he spent with him the moore attracted he was. He was now in such a deep state of obsession that sometimes he could swear the brunette was also flirting with him ! It was almost like he turned to one of those psycho who lived in a fantasy world were their crush reciprocate their feeling…

And since his brain was stupid he obviously sucked at hiding all this shit ! There is no way the older man hadn’t noticed anything ! Colson was as subtle a high school girl. He jiggle at half of the things the man said, looked at him bit big eyes and a dumb smile and was fucking whiling to watch all those weird movies with him ! You don't do all that shit unless you want to bang the person. He hated this shit ! He hated this ridiculously hot man ! He hated how hard he goth when doing nothing but look at Em running on his treadmill ! 

He tried jacking off to his usual porn at first : cute girl with heavy breast getting gangbanged.   
And although it definitely made the work, he always end up a bit frustrated. Cause he was jacking off and not fucking Marshall ! At one point he ended up searching for gay porn actors that could look like him...cause it was pretty much the only thing he could ever do anyway! 

It was surprisingly hard to find ! The closest he got was this russian dude with a buzzcut who looked like he could kill a puppy. Since he love puppy’s he just closed his laptop, forced to use his imagination. It was pathetic ! When was the fucking last time he jerked off using nothing but mental imagery ? 

He closed his eyes, grabbing his own cock and stroking it angrily, he closed his eyes trying to focus on the softness of the sheets, he thought about Marshall’s mouth, how it could feel against his skin. He whimpered...those hands, they felt so good when they were patting his hair...so fucking warm...how would they feel on his body ? His neck ? His nipples ? His stomach, his ass, his cock ? ...Fuck ! He suddenly felt more aroused than he ever felt for the past weeks. He pictured himself kissing him, he imagined how his skin would taste like, how would the man react if he bite his earlobe. He kept stroking his cock overwhelmed by waves of pleasure, who got bigger and bigger. Fuck ! ...How would   
How would it feel like...to touch his body...those straight lines and firm muscle...his chest ? Those abs ? Those legs ?   
He could pictured himself tracing his tattoos with his fingers, head buried in his neck, while the older man cupped his ass, both of their crotch rubbing against each other…God ! He was close ! ...How would it feel to have his hard on against his ? He imagined holding both of them in his hand, biting the man’s chest...getting lower and lower…  
Ah...almost...If he had the man’s dick in front of him would take it in his mouth ? Would he like it ? Would Em like it as well, would he grab his hair and pull them ?   
...That was it ! He lost it ! He came loudly, squeezing his cock even harder, covering his mouth with his hand too strangle moans when they became to loud. 

For a couple of seconds he just stayed on the bed, panting heavily, vision blurry, enjoying the afterglow...fuck ! When was the last time he felt this good while jacking off ! He felt wrapped up in a comforting bubble of pleasure, a bit like when he was high. He tried to catch his breath...God ! Who taught using your imagination could take you this far ! … He sure wasn’t expecting coming so hard by the mere thought of taking the older man in his mouth !

But now that he thought about it...it wasn’t that surprising, he laways enjoyed giving oral sex when he fucked girls...so it probably wasn’t that different with dudes ! 

He grabbed the dirty shirt that laid on his bed, wiping the cum that was starting to dry on his stomach...God ! He needed a shower...a very long and very cold shower ! 

(...)   
When he went downstair with the intention to eat every single pop tarts Maria bought the other day, he found Em looking at him like he was a kid who got spotted by his dad while sneaking in the kitchen. 

“Hey !” He said trying to no sound to enthusiast.   
“I’m not letting you eat any other pop tart man !” 

The blond musician loudly sigh...yup ! Marshall was treating him like a Kid !   
“I crave sugar like crazy those days ! And come on ! It’s better than doing pills !”   
“You craving sweets and junk food is normal it’s happen a lot when you stop taking shit, i gained almost 50 pounds at my worst ! But you're just replacing and addiction with another !” 

Colson rolled his eyes, slightly annoyed. “I've always loved sweets ! And unlike you i don't get fat when i eat chips ! So let me eat those damn pop tarts !”   
The older frowned then laugh a bit. “Well you won’t be slender and hot your entire life on a diet of chips ! And you can cook for fuck sake ! So eat a damn salad !” 

His cheeks were suddenly crazy red and he felt a bit dizzy !   
“Did you...did you just called me hot ?” He hardly stuttered.   
The brunette looked at him with big eyes if Kelly wasn’t drowning in them he could swear the older man blushed.  
“I...I...i mean...yeah...i mean it’s...it’s kinda obvious, your like factually good looking…” 

Oh ! It wasn’t the first time someone called him hot or good looking, actually he heard that a lot, but it was the first time he felt butterflies in his stomach hearing someone saying it. He knew he shouldn't be but kept smiling...a huge smile full of teeth. Em probably found that odd cause he kept staring at him awkwardly. He finally looked away after a couple of seconds, swallowing thickly. 

“Wanna...wanna watch another fucked up movie ?” He asked. 

The younger men nod almost aggressively. At this point he was willing to do pretty much any activity as long as it was with Marshall...Christ ! He really was like a horny schoolgirl ! 

Whitney really had weird taste when it came to movies. Nymphomaniac, Requiem for a dream, Eraserhead...she seemed to really be into the stuff that crush you soul ! But this one...was actually a lot more manageable. He always knew the Secret of Brokeback Mountain was a very good movie but he never took the time to watch it. 

“It’s actually pretty disturbing…” Marshall said, looking at Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger Kissing angrily. Colson felt his stomach tighten. Was two men kissing that disturbing ? Cause he thought about kissing the dude quite a lot ! 

“What do you mean ?” He asked trying to sound as casual and unbothered as he could.   
“Jake i mean ! This dude can play everything ! I worked with him for Southpaw, i swear it look like a different person !” The younger man sigh in relief.   
“Yeah...the...the movie is quite good right ?” 

The brunette looked at him frowning...Oh good ! Why couldn’t he kept his mouth shut !   
Em was not known to be particularly gay friendly…  
“Are you kidding ! This is a fucking masterpiece ! It’s the best shit we seen so far !”   
Oh...he wasn’t expecting that ! “I knew this movie was good ! After all Elton couldn’t stop bragging about it when it went out” Marshall said. “But i just never gave it a shot !” 

The blond rapper just nodded, forcing himself to stare at the screen. He really tried to follow the story, but he was too fucking curious. “Why haven’t you watch it before ? To gay ?” He asked, trying to laugh...he had to sound cool...like it was not a big deal...like he wasn’t feeling like every gay or bi teen in every fucking drama that had ever existed. 

The man looked at him weird raising an eyebrow. “Dude ! I've been friend with fucking Elton John for the past twenty years ! Do you have any idea how gay this dude is ? It’s like making a fusion of all the gayest stuff you can find in put it in one person ! He made me watch Queer as Folk for fuck sake !” 

“What’s Queer as folk ?” Kelly asked, guessing by the name that he might not be the straightest stuff ever made. “It’s a TV show about five gay dudes in Pittsburgh...and it’s...really, really gay ! Every character is gay, they spend their time fucking each other or fucking other dudes we don't know, there is explicit sex scenes mother fucking everywhere ! Man ! When Elton came to me being like “it’s so graphic and raw and funny ! You will love it !” I really didn’t knew it would mean that i would watch an entire season of irresponsible guys butt fucking each other every five minutes !” 

He laugh pretty heavily...yeah ! He really couldn’t picture Em watching that kind of show.   
“Okay...so two dudes kissing might no be that big of a deal !”   
“Why would it be ! Because Slim Shady said so ? I don't know if you figured...but Slim Shady isn't exactly an example !”   
Kell’s nod. “Yeah...but he is useful when you want to murder everyone !” He said remembering the amount of punchlines in Killshot. Em looked at him rather amused.   
“Oh that wasn’t Slim ! It was me !”   
“I thought you weren’t a violent dude !”   
“In my personal life ! In songs...i’m a mother fucking snipper !”   
“It would like to say that this is just your ego speaking but you're quite right !” 

The older man smirked, keeping his eyes on the screen. Coulson didn't knew if the man realized it but he was getting closer and closer, wich made him fucking nervous ! 

There was so much room in this giant ass couch ! Why was he this close ! It did felt crazy good to feel Marshal warmth and to hear his breathing...but...but this shit was making him crazy ! He forced himself to stay were he was, back crazy straight. If he moved the brunette will probably find that odd. His heart was beating like mad, it felt so loud that he could swear the dude could hear it ! He took a quick glimpse at Em’s face. He was lightly biting his lower lips, eyes glued to the tv...albeit it didn’t felt like he was watching anything but rather...forcing himself to stay still...why ? Was he nervous as well ? Why ? 

Was Colson making him feel uncomfortable ? No...impossible otherwise he wouldn't be sitting this close to him...so what he was trying to make a move on him ? 

No...no impossible ! It was just Colson dreaming ! If the dude really wanted to try something he wouldn’t just try to get closer, besides Em was fucking straight ! No ! It was just Kell’s living in his own little fantasy world ! He tried to look at the screen as well, but the only think he could think of was how mother fucking close the man was. He nervously stared at his shoes but he quickly stopped, all his attention was drawned by the hand only a few centimeters away from his...Don't do that shit ! Don't do that mother fucking shit ! He thought   
! 

Why was he even fucking trying to ressonante himself ? He never had any survival instinct anyway ! And what worst could happen to him ? Marshall being mad and punching him ? What was a broken rib anyway ! 

So very slowly, feeling so anxious and afraid that his head was buzzing, he grabbed the older men hand. A very light grip both to pass as an accident and because his hand was shaking to damn much anyway. He closed his eyes almost waiting for a blow, but i never came. The man didn’t moved an hinch at first, then after a couple of painfully long minutes he grabed Kelly’s hand, entrelacing their fingers, caressing it very lightly with his thumb. He didn’t looked at him tho, he kept looking at the screen, an unreadable expression on his face. And right know it was for the best, cause the blond rapper was already overwhelmed by way too many emotions who were fucking hard to process. 

Mostly : Eminem holding is mother fucking hand !!!   
Was he awake ? He pinched himself several times just to be sure, he couldn’t believe it was happening ! It was insane ! And damn...how on heart was it possible to feel this good by just holding someone’s hand ? He felt all warm and happy...It was wonderful and fucking pathetic at the same time ! 

The titles were rolling when Marshall finally let it go. He quickly looked at the other man then scratched his head. “Let’s eat some stuff !” He said, getting up. Kell’s felt rather disturbed, was he going to act like they didn’t old hands for fucking forty five minutes ? 

Apparently, cause the dude didn’t say anything, they just silently eat some salmon salad.   
So what ? Nothing happened ? ...Maybe there was nothing to talk about...after all they just hold hands ! Five years old do that all the time ! ...Yeah but...straight bro’s don't do that shit ! They hold hands for fucking forever ! Marshall even massaged it ! 

Maybe this was the dude trying to comfort him or whatever. After all he did hug him a pat his hair before ! Fuck ! Why did he had to hold this fucking hand ! If he hadn't done that none of this shit would happen and he wouldn’t be here whining about whether or not it meant he had a chance to bang the dude ! 

Of course he didn’t had any ! He angrily shove some salmond in his mouth, stupid salad full of healthy stuff ! Stupid movie ! Stupid house ! Stupid rehab ! Stupid crush !   
Marshall looked at him, probably not understanding why he seemed so angry...which immediately made Colson cool down, he made a small smile. 

Christ he was sexy ! 

(...)

Marshall didn’t really knew how many time he spent in his studio, probably more than six hours…

He would love to say it was because he had some crazy inspirations and words were coming right at him...but really he was just hiding himself. He spent entire day thinking about what happened. An fuck...it was so ridiculous ! He wasn’t twelve anymore ! Why was he that bothered by a fucking hand holding ! He held hands all the time ! 

Okay maybe not all the time cause he really didn’t like physical contact unless it was with his daughters or someone he wanted to bang. And that was the entire problem ! Him wanting to bang the dude ! 

What kind of sick individual was he ! The man was almost young enough to be his son !   
Since when he was into fucking baby’s ? Was that an Harvey Weinstein curse ? You get older and older you start to be interested in people that are way to young for you ?   
Cause he didn’t want any of this shit ! He always had a rule about not fucking someone more than five years younger than him...albeit he thought he had a rule about not fucking dudes...but Anthony could confirm it definitely happened. 

But it wasn’t the same ! The dudes he fucked were not in rehab in his mother fucking house !   
They were not mother fucking fifteen years younger than him ! They didn’t wrote a diss about him! That was a lot of things Colson was ! That all seemed to be very good reasons to not hold his hand while watching a movie ! 

But now that he thought about it...he wouldn’t have done that if the kid didn’t tried to make a move. What does that move even meant ? Cause he was not sure if the kid realized but he tried to hold his hand while they were watching Brokeback Mountain ? 

That was fucking gay ! But it was just as gay to hold his hand back ! Why on earth had he done that ! 

Well he knew why ! The dude was crazy cute ! His hand was shaking when he held her and his face was all red, it way too damn adorable ! What was he supposed to do ? Act like he didn’t care ? Besides it was nothing but a hand holding it was pretty innocent. 

The problem was he wanted to make a whole bunch of stuff that were much much less innocent. He remembered how he pictured the kid on knees sucking his cock last month.   
Repetiting that it was appropriate but doing it anyway...well now the dude was in front of him all the time, he could fantasize the entire fucking kamasutra ! 

How will he looked like if he was fucked from behind while Marshall pulled his hair ?   
What his facial expression would be ? How many tattoos does he had ? Could he count them? Kiss them ? Bite them ? How will he look like with a neck full of hickeys ?   
How does his back will arch if he fingered him ? What kinda sound would he make ?   
Did he had any sensitive spot ? His nipples ? His legs ? His stomach ? His ears ?   
Would he wrapped his outrageously long body around his if he was entering him ?   
How would he feel ? How would Colson feel ? 

Fuck ! When was the last time he got laid ? Cause right know he really felt like an horny teenage boy ! Now that he thought about it he didn’t had much sex for the past couple of months. He had sort of a casual relationship with a women named Sarah for a little while. She had four kids and a job as a music producer so she was busy all the time, which was perfect for Marshall cause they only saw each other when they needed a break from their routine. They would watch movies together, eat at some restaurants, sometimes play bowling and of course fuck their brains out. But after a year and a half they didn't seemed to be on the same page anymore, Sarah had to travel a lot more because of work, there meetings became less and less frequent. They never really were in a exclusive relationship but usually when he found someone to fuck he got along with he didn’t really tried to have someone else...having fuck buddy’s was a lot to manage and to deal with, so the less the better...the only problem was that when someone you get along with disappear, your sex life turn into a fucking desert island. And he was to old for one night stands ! Nobody like this shit anyway ! You can’t figured what somebody like to do in bed in one fucking night ! Especially when you don't know the person ! It feels cold and impersonal, like fucking a sex doll. And only Slim Shady would like this idea. 

He thought about calling Dre to complain before remembering his stupid bet with 50.   
He still had a damn street creed to protect, so he will bury all of those shitty feelings and do as he always had. Writing some angry stuff ! 

Since he was way to fucking tired of thinking about this cute blond little head all the time, he grabbed one of his dictionary's a forced himself reading it.   
It was one of the most boring task he could think of but he always did that when he wanted to force his brain to focus.   
Albeit he took much more time that it usually did...after what felt like a lifetime rhymes finally came to his mind. 

He grabbed a pen and start writing on his notebook...maybe he could finish his verse on “Dah-Dah” or “Unaccommodating”...yeah he didn’t feel like writing a rage filled song right now.He wanted to right something with meaning...maybe some slow rap with a bunch of double/triple intenders… 

And then it clicked in his brain. He remembered the idea he had about writing a song about mass shooting a couple of months ago, and how he could use his platform to raise awareness, but he never reach a level he deemed high enough for this subject.

Finally ! Word’s came right at him ! What if he wrote a song that made a parallel between him, especially during his most miserable phase and the mass shooter of Las Vegas ?   
He could fill this with shit with ton of wordplays ! 

He start writing like he was possessed, sometimes searching for some informations about the mass shooter on his phone, and a couple of word he could use. 

“Feels like i’m loathing in Las Vegas  
Haven’t got the vaguest why i’m so lost, but i’d make you this small wager…”

God ! He lived for that shit ! That feeling ! That mother fucking filing when words finally came at you ! It was beyond everything !

“One little stage, it’ll do, maybe i’ll take it and snooze   
The tear up the stage in a few…” 

He wrote, and wrote and wrote ignoring the numbness of his muscles for sitting back this long, head buzzing. He felt so freaking good ! 

“The reason why we’re so fucked,   
cause by the time it’s over, won’t make the slightest difference.” 

That was it ! It’s been so long since he wrote an entire song in one shoot !   
It was too fresh on his mind to be sure, but he really feelt like he hadn't wrote something this good since years ! 

He heard some noise a the door. Was it Maria ? No it was to late ! He opened it to find Colson awkwardly standing behind it. Flushed red when the older man looked at him.

“I...i’m so...im so fucking sorry...i know you...you told me to not came at your studio...but you weren’t showing off since hours...so...i...i’m sorry i’ll go…” He said nervously playing with his hands. 

“No it’s okay dude...hum...i...i've just finished anyway...wanna come in ?” 

Fuck ! Now Marshall couldn’t deny he had a crazy sweet spot for the kid, cause he never, ever let anyone come near is studio and every time someone knocked at the door while he was working he always felt crazy mad. 

“You were working on some stuff ?” He asked slowly coming head, taking a glimpse at his dictionary collection. “Holy shit there is so many ! “ 

Em smirked, he did accumulate a lot of dictionary over the past few years, you never know, you might found knew words. “Yeah ! I buy new one every year but i never throw the old ones out so...it make a lot a the end of the day !” 

“I can see that ! ...Can i ask you what you were working on ? Some beats ?”   
“Nan...i just wrote some stuff, like everything came in one shoot ! It doesn’t happen that often !” 

The younger man jingled then nod. “It never happens ! Most of the time you're just in front of a blank piece of paper waiting for inspiration ! So are you pleased with the result ?” 

Em nod, grabbing his notebook. “Yeah...actually i think it’s one of the best things i wrote since a while !” He looked at the kid...could he ? Oh fuck it ! He needed somebody's else opinion anyway ! “Wanna take a look ?” He asked. 

The blond rapper looked at him with big eyes.   
“Are...are you sure dude ?” 

The brunette nod. “Yeah ! It’s too late to call Dre and i have a professional rapper right in front of me ! I would be dumb to no use you !” Kelly smiled, grabbing the notebook.   
“Thank you Marshall ! It’s...it’s an honor !” He quietly said. 

He start reading, eyes wide open, nervously biting his lower lips, as he keep reading his eyes got bigger and bigger. After a couple of minutes he gave the notebook back. Strangly  
staring at the older man. 

“So ?” He asked looking at him.   
“So ? ...Dude...fuck...i...it’s...it’s one of the best stuff you ever wrote !” 

Em smiled, feeling rather pleased.   
“ Really ?”   
“ Come on dude ! Don't act like you don't know ! Like just the bar “Fuck the colt 45, i’ma need somethin stronger, if i pop any caps it better be off of Vodka”...Had me gagged !  
It’s brilliant...it’s fucking...my god !” 

He stood up, looking overly excited. “How are you this brilliant ! I...even if i worked my ass of for twenty years i would never reach that level ! It so fucking crazy ! I can believe you just let me read this shit !” 

He had a huge smile on his face and Em heart melted. He was used to people praising his work. But the man was doing it such a cute way ! It was adorable ! 

“You're obviously not overreacting at all !” The man said rather amused.   
“Of course not !” Colson answered, sitting in front of him.   
“I feel like i’m in front of a fucking giant right now !” 

Marshall smirked. “Oh yeah ? I thought you were taller than me ?’  
“I am !” Kell’s answered. “And you are rather small actually...but you know what i’m saying.”  
The older man had too strangle a laugh. “Yeah i know…”

After longs seconds of a weird silence the younger rapper spoke again.   
“Will you be mad if it tell you i feel shitty about all of our beef ?” He asked slightly shaking.   
The brunette rolled his eyes...that again !   
“I've already told you i’m not mad at you ! Like at all !”   
“I know ! But I AM at MYSELF...i was dick to you, and it really annoys me when i see how much of a great guy you are !” He said looking at him with those blue eyes...he was so close he could feel his warmth...God he held him (and pinned him at the wall) if he could.   
“You're a great guy too Colson !” 

The blond man made a small smile, not breaking eye contact, very slowly, almost like he was afraid, running his hands through Marshall’s hair.   
“You make me feel like one…” 

And with that he felt two lips shyly pressing to his. Holy shit ! For a quick second Em felt like he couldn’t breathe or move as his brain was trying to process what on heart was happening. He thought about pushing the kid away, but it feels so fucking good !  
Screw it ! He start moving his mouth in a slow rhythm, tenderly kissing the younger man, discovering his lips and mouth. Hand running through his hair then back.   
It was...Christ it was so much better that what he had imagined. 

They kissed languidly for several minutes, tongues lightly stroking each other. Then Kelly started to moan against his mouth...and he lost it. He caught his lower lip and bite down, quite hard. He licked and sucked and nipped at Colson lip, tongue, teeth...really anything he could reach,his hand getting lower and lower. 

When he felt like the kid might need hair he let go his abused lips to start biting his neck. He smelled so fucking good ! He thought as he was sucking on the tender skin, feeling more thrilled than he ever felt for the past months. The blond rapper whimpered, holding him with all his might. “Fuck…i’m doing good !” He whispered kissing his forehead, a bit out of breath. 

“What ?” Marshall quietly asked, while keeping his teeth on his neck. 

Colson move his head a bit to give the men a better access to his collarbone, looking both aroused and happy.   
“I...i was just talking to myself...you know thinking that for a first fuck with a dude i didn’t chose to bad...ah kept doing this…”

Except Em didn’t kept biting his neck, actually he immediately stopped, and was five meter away the next second,feeling extremely cool down. 

“Is...is there something wrong ?” Colson asked, not really knowing what was happening.   
“Yeah...no...i...i think really need to go out for a jog !” The older man said, with panicked eyes.   
running through his studio door as fast as he could.   
“W...what ?” The blond rapper followed him not really knowing what was happening. 

The brunette climbed his stairs at the speed of light, blood rushing through his head...out..he needed to go out. RIGHT NOW !!  
He heard a voice : “What are you talking about ! It’s three in the morning !” 

The younger man had followed him and was now looking more confused than ever. 

“Yeah ! Well it’s the perfect time to run seven miles, cool down, enjoy the beauty of the night, not take advantage of mother fucking virgin’s...all that stuff.” 

And with that he slammed the door of his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please d'ont be mad ! Please d'ont be mad ! Please d'ont be mad...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my friends ! I know my last chapter ended in a frustrating note, so i really hope you will all like this one !   
> Enjoy !

“Peeeeeeeete” Colson whined, angrily holding his phone.   
A tired voice answered “Dude i know that i told you that you could call me anytime but come on ! It’s 6 in the morning !”   
“I know ! I’m sorry ! I know you need your sleep ! But this is an emergency !”   
“Is there something wrong ?” His friend asked, immediately sounding much more concern.   
“Please don't tell me you relapsed or some shit ! Are you high ?”   
The blond rapper shook his head. “No...no I really miss coke and pills right now but I got this shit under control ! I have another kind of problem !”   
“What ? I bet you miss Cassie !” Pete said trying to sound as comforting as he could.  
“I do miss Cassie like a mad dude ! It’s awful but again that’s not that much the problem here…” He answered, feeling rather embarrassed.   
The younger man singh. “Then what is it ! Tell me ! I wanna help !”  
“Do you remember when i told you that i kinda had a crush on Marshall ?”   
“Bro ! Of course I do ! I made fun of you for an hour and a half for this shit !”   
Kelly rolled his eyes remembering how his friend burst into laugh, repetititing that it was both oddly previsible and weird as fuck.   
“Yeah...so let’s say that i kinda tried to make a move on the dude…”   
Pete almost choked himself. “What ! Are...are you kidding ! What about all the “i’m just gonna silently look at him and die” scene you made the other day !”   
“Let’s say that i had a shot of confidence...he made me read some stuff he wrote...and i kinda felt flattered, and he told me i was a great guy...and i...i panicked okay !”   
“Jeez...dude ! Did he broke your nose ? Or better did you end up fucking him ?” The man asked not really knowing if he should feel worried or intertaint.   
“Bro I wish ! But nan...neither...we just make out for a little bit i guess.” The musician said, feeling angry thinking about it.   
“Holy shit ! You...you guys make out ? How the fuck...mannn ! I can’t believe my bro make out with fucking Eminem !” 

Colson laughed a bit, feeling slightly better, like he always did when talking to his buddy.   
“Yeah ! I know ! I was also crazy thrilled and...Good I was horny ! I never felt this horny in my entire life ! So we were both kissing...and by the way he is the best kisser i ever met ! Getting in the mood and shit ! And i’m like “wow ! for my first fuck with a dude i sure did not picked badly !”   
“ You sure didn’t ! That’s the most legenderay first dude fuck of the history !”   
“Well ! Here we are making out ! An he fucking left ! Just right there...telling me he needed to run for a jog...is still hand’t gotten back home wich mean he had been running for like three fucking hours !”   
“What the fuck ?” Pete mumbled. “Like why ? Did he suddenly remember you had a dick and was like “no homo” ?   
“He said some shit about not wanting to take advantage of virgins or whatever…”   
His friend laughed really hard. “You ? A virgin ? Bitch since when ! You fucked everyone !”   
“I know ! That was insulting ! And know i don't know what to do ! I mean...how are we going to interact with each other after all that shit ! Are we going to ignore what happened ? I don't know if i can survive !” He said, anxiety taking over him.   
“Dude...you sound like a teenage girl in love ! It’s not that big of a deal !”   
The man blushed really hard...teenage girl in love ? Was he in love ? He did feel really good around Marshall, and he did feel like he could go through everything if he was with him, and he did feel all warm and happy when he thought about him...but those are what crushes are right ? ...Fuck ! Thinking about this shit was the last thing he needed right now ! He already had way too many things to process. 

“You are not helping me !” He yelled.   
“I’m wondering what the fuck i am supposed to do ! Cause right now I'm crazy lost !”   
“I don't know man…” Peter answered, not really knowing how he could help his friend.   
“I think you should just have a conversation with the dude, so you guys can process things...and if you still feel like a sad teenage girl in love then...well you can call me and whine ! I promise i will listen to you...at least a little bit !”   
The blond rapper shigh...suddenly feeling exhausted...his bro wasn’t wrong. 

(...)

Kelly was staring at the front door...knees shaking eyes glued to the door handle.   
He felt crazy tired and drained, but there was no way Em would get away with this shit !   
He couldn’t just run like that after giving him the best kiss he ever had ! He wouldn’t allow that ! And the man wouldn’t be able to run forever ! 

He looked at his phone checking out the time...7 in the morning ! Come on ! What kinda monster would be able to run for so long ? Should He be dead at this point ? Well what if he actually ran away and disappeared ? Was he planning a new life in Scotland or something ? Does that mean he owned this big ass mansion ? That sure was a very nice place but he didn’t really want to live in Detroit, it was cold out there ! 

All of his crazy thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door clicked. He immediately stood up, a painful knot in the stomach. Marshall was very slowly opening the door...almost like Colson when he lived with his ex and tried to hide the fact that he was going out every night. He twisted his mouth, seing the man going in, looking all sweaty in his oversized hoodie made him quite angry...he really did run for four fucking hours ! Just to avoid him !  
It was humiliating ! It was painful ! 

“You enjoyed your marathon ?” He asked, trying to sound frightening and failing at it because of how shaky his voice was. The older man looked at him with big eyes, trying to catch his breath as he closed the door. 

“You...you are not sleeping ?”   
“As you can see i’m fat asleep !” Colson said, doing his best not not be overwhelmed by anxiety. “Did you really fucking thaught that you could run away just like that and that i would be to bed when you’ll be back ?!”   
“I kinda hoped you would…” He answered, face completely blank, he quickly looked at the younger man's face, then neck, gasping a little.   
“Fuck...did i did that ?” He asked, pointing to the purple mark on Kelly’s neck. 

The younger man nodded, blushing heavily, and he hadn't noticed he had a hickey !  
The brunette aggressively facepalm, making angry noises.   
“Fuck...I’m so fucking sorry !” 

The blond immediately frowned, feeling even more confused.   
“What the hell are you apologizing for ?”   
Em rolled his eyes, like it was obvious.   
“Oh I don't know...maybe for making out with you, and taking advantage of your vulnerable moments !” The younger man’s jaw dropped, he stared at Marshall with big eyes.   
“What the fuck ! I’m the one who kissed you !”   
“Yeah ! Well I shouldn't have responded to that ! You were all cute and hot in front of me and i lost it ! It was wrong of me !” 

What was he talking about ? He had been daydreaming about kissing this man for days and days ! Right now there was no thing he wanted more ! So what was the fucking problem ? 

Also did he say he was cute and hot ? He will be all hyped up if he wasn’t so angry and tired. “Okay dude...right now...i really don't understand ! I obviously wanted that and you seemed to quite like it as well so…”   
Em interrupted him. “You think you wanted that ! But you are on rehab under my surveillance, moore than fifteen years younger than me and a mother fucking virgin ! There is no way you were making a rational decision...which is normal ! You are getting sober, the mood can get really chaotic...but i should have knowned better...so i’m really sorry for doing what i did.`` 

Kell’s head was buzzing...what ? How could he…  
Good he didn’t have the words ! 

“Fuck you !” He said, looking at him with dark eyes, hands shaking.   
“Fuck you ! I’m not a fucking child ! I’m fucking thrity ! I have a daughter ! I’m not a freaking fan girl you can groom! I can make my own decision very well ! Like a grown ass adult ! Wich i mother fucking am !” 

He yelled...for a quick second he thought the brunete would start yelling as well, but he just kept talking. “Colson...first times are important ! It something you remenber you’r intire fucking life ! I know it all of my first were absolute shit ! Do you really think you would be happy in a year, thinking about the fact that the first dude you fucked was the guy you dissed, and who also was in charge of your rehab ?”   
“WILL YOU SHUT UP !!!” This time he was screaming with all his lungs, he could hear his voice echoing in the room. “I KNOW WHAT I FUCKING WANT AND YOU ARE NOBODY TO TELL ME WHETER IT’S GOOD OR BAD !” 

He tried to catch his breath, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to shoot himself. “ I had sex with hundred of girls that i d’ont remenber, neither their name nor face ! So d’ont talk to me like i’m some teen in need of sex ed !” 

He felt so mad, so infantilized ! If he wasn’t in rehab he was sure he would be emptying a bottle of Jack Daniels right now. He ran through the kitchen, angrily opening the pantry.   
“Like now ! I’m gonna go to bed and eat all of those pop tart !” He said, shaking the sweets in front of Marshall’s face, who looked rather angry but didn’t say anything.   
“I’m eating them because i want to and you’r not my fucking dad !” 

He climbed the stairs, nervously taking a bite, not daring to take a glimpse at the older man, who he could feel was outraged. He fell asleep the second his head touched the pillows, all the event’s of the past hours had taken all of his energy. 

Nevertheless, he woke up thirty minutes after, his brain being too busy processing all those informations. He stretched himself, arms sore. He tried to fall asleep again but his stomach was painful and his headache wasn’t leaving him alone. Guess showing ten pop tart in his mouth wasn’t the brightest idea, all this sugar was making him dizzy while not letting him sleep. He painfully stoop up and openned the mini fridge...fuck ! There was no sparkling water anymore ! And his mouth was crazy drie and bitter thanks to all of those sweets ! 

He thought about going to the bathroom and drinking water straight from the sink...but nan ! With all this shit he at least deserved to drink some cold fancy water. He climbed down the stairs, feeling a bit numb. 

He rolled his eyes and loudly sigh when he reach the kitchen :   
Of course Marshall had to be fucking there ! Sippin on what looked like a giant coffee.   
Was karma mad at him ! Couldn’t he at least have a baby break where the dude was not right in front of him ?! 

The brunette didn’t say anything, staring at the younger man, eyes filled with concern.   
Fuck ! This was not fucking fair ! Colson wouldn't be able to stay mad if he was looking at him like that ! He awkwardly stood up there, not remembering why he went to the kitchen in the first place. “Can’t sleep ?” Marshall finally asked with a soft voice.   
The blond rapper shook his head. “No… “

There was a weird silence, both men avoiding eye contact. At one point Marshall finally cleared his throat. “I...hum...i couldn’t sleep either...i...sorry about…”  
“Not that again ! “ Kell’s said, exhausted already.   
“Let me talk !” Em insisted, looking much more self assured already. “I’m sorry i freaked out like that and made a scene about all that stuff !” 

Oh ! Suddenly the younger man was full awake. The man kept talking.   
“You were right ! You are not a child far from it ! And i shouldn’t have treated you this way...but...the truth is…” He swallod loudly...and was he fucking blushing ? Like the Marshall Matters was physically capable of blushing ?   
“...The truth is that i didn’t expected to be this attracted to you and i don't know how to react to it...so i freaked out” 

For a quick second everything turned to white. Was he dreaming ? Was he actually asleep and fantasizing about all that shit ? God ! Did he heard what he heard ? His earth suddenly started to beat really fast. 

“You are attracted to me ?” He asked not being able to hide his smile.   
The older men mumble, nervously scratching his head.   
“Come on dude ! It’s kinda obvious ! I fucking kissed you !”   
Kell’s nod, trying to hide his excitement...maybe Karma wasn’t that bad after all.   
“I...I mean I guess I get it...but you know all that stuff is not easy for me to process either ! I thought i was straight just a week ago !”   
The older man nodded, looking slightly more relaxed.   
“And what do you think now ?” He asked.   
The younger man felt a heavy knot in his stomach..he forced himself to breathe calmly…  
He could do this ! He was a grown ass man !   
“I think...i think you're hot ! I've been thinking you were hot since the minute I met you in person…” Marshall was looking at him with a small smile, getting a bit closer.   
“Oh yeah ?” He whispered.   
“Yeah...so fucking yeah…”

Feeling a rush of confidence he wrapped his hands around Marshall’s shoulders, enjoying his warmth. He felt two strong arms grabbing him by the waist.   
“So if I kiss you right now you would be fine with it ?” He asked playfully, looking at him. Colson didn’t say anything; he just smashed his lips against Marshall 's with the thrill of a teen who’s kissing someone for the first time. Unlike last time where the brunette needed a couple of seconds to react, he immediately exhaled into the younger man's mouth and started kissing him back. It was not tender like the first kiss they shared, it feels rough and filled with desire. He could feel how eager Em was, scratching the back of his neck, pulling him closer while ravaging his mouth. 

Good,his heart felt so full !   
He eagerly kissed him back, messy kisses full of tongue, ignoring how out of breath he was.   
He felt a warm hand travelling under his shirt, stroking his stomach and back. He started to moan against the man’s lip’s, pants getting tighter and tighter. He gasped when he felt a hand very lightly palming his crotch through the fabric. 

“Let’s go to your room” He said against his mouth. Really not wanting to come in his pants in the kitchen. The brunette looked at him then nodded.   
“Okay…” He whispered, eyes dark. 

It actually took them a couple of minutes to get there as they kept on kissing and hugging each other. Marshall pinning him at every wall he saw. He could feel the man getting hard against his legs...he thought it would feel weird but it actually made him even more turned on. 

The thought that he was the one making him hard was sending the blond musician over the edge. He followed his lead as he walked backwards, sighing with ease when his back hit the mattress of the king size bed. 

They keep kissing as Colson tries to take his hoodie off, struggling to do so because of how shaky his hands were. Marshall grabbed both of his legs, spreading them, stepping into the space between them. “So…” He said on a low ton. “What do you want to do ?”   
“I...i want to see you !” He whimpered, feeling the pressure of Em’s body against his crotch.   
The man smirked before taking his hoodie off, followed by his top.   
“Way too many clothes !” Kell whispered wrapping his arms around the man’s back...he hummed with pleasure as he pressed his head against his chest, it was so warm.  
It felt safe and I felt comforting. Em hands were patting his head, making him quietly moan.  
He started to explore the body on top of him, fondling his arms,neck,torso…  
“God i’m jealous of those abs !” He whispered mouth watering, everything was so firm !   
He had sex with girl’s that were in really good shape before, but there were no compairason.   
And he loved it ! He started to kiss the older man's chest, then collarbone, rubbing his hard on Marshall's. The man sighs with ease. “Take your shirt off too !”   
He said lifting the fabric, as the blond man was moving his hands to help him. 

For a couple of seconds he didn’t do anything, he just looked at him with those eyes that drived him crazy. He felt slightly nervous again...was he finding him unattractive ?   
Considering how in shape he was maybe he only fucked other fitness monster’s…

Then he felt a hand rubbing his chest. “Jesus you're hot...There are so many…” He said probably talking about his tattoos. He smiled nodding enthusiastically, immediately reassured. “Yup ! I’m like 10% white and 90% tattoos”

The brunette jiggled a bit, caressing his nipples with his thumbs.   
“You have straps tattoos...it’s cute !” He started kissing the lines while saying that, slightly biting when he reached his nipple. He moaned, feeling the warm mouth against his skin.   
He arched his back...damn he never knew his nipples were a sensitive spot ! 

“Can i touch you there ?” Em asked, looking at his pants, Kell’s nodd aggressively, immediately trying to take them off. Why did he wear those damn skinny jeans !   
The older man helped him, peeling them off. “Your legs are damn long !” He mumble.   
Colson laughed quietly, looking at him with a mischievous glaire.   
“Nan...you're just too fucking small!”. Marshall looked at him with sadistic eyes. “Oh yeah ?”   
He liked the younger man's ear before biting very gently the cartilage, lightly stroking his cock through the fabric. The blond musician feelt crazy aroused, almost dizzy.   
He tried to rub himself against Em's hands in an attempt to have more pressure,but the man made sure it wouldn't happen. “Come on…” He whimpered. “Don't tease me like that !”   
He wanted more ! In a desperate attempt he started kissing the brunette again, biting his lower lips, hips thrusting as angrily as he could against the older man’s hand.   
“Touch me...touch me...touch me…” He repeated, almost like a prayer.   
“Okay...okay…” He heard against his mouth. 

Marshall stepped back a little bit taking his sweatpants off, Kell’s pushing him forward the second he took them off. “Come back here !” He said kissing him again. Good he couldn’t get enough of this mouth ! He couldn’t believe this was really happening. Was he really kissing Marshall Matters, almost naked in his fucking bed ?! He never thought he could have that ! His teenage self wouldn’t believe it for sure. 

They kept kissing for several minutes, Colson was enjoying the solid weight on top of him as they moved against each other. He was about to lose his mind, when the brunette finally let go his abused lips, reaching to the waistband of his boxers.   
“I want to see you”...he whispered… As he took them off. 

Kell’s couldn’t help but blush...so many people had seen him naked...yet he felt so exposed this time ! He hid his face for a couple of seconds, not wanting to meet the older man's gaze. He felt a very gentle stroke against his cheek.   
“You're beautiful…” He whispered…”And i’m really fucking hard right now !”   
Kell’s laugh a bit, finding the courage to look at him again,those eyes...they were looking at him so tenderly…

He grabbed Marshall’s boxer as well not wanting to be the only one naked.   
And wow ! He had seen several dick’s before...but it was the first time he felt his mouth watered by the sight of one. It was thick and large, but not massive either…

“Why on earth is your cock bigger than mine !” He said jokingly.   
Em laugh a bit. “You have a very nice cock dude !” He said while grabbing it, gently stroking the tip with his thumb. Kell’s immediately arched his back, moaning loudly.   
“Yesssssss…”   
“Tell me if i do something that you don't w…”  
“The only thing i don't want is for you to stop !” He interrupted him. Lost in a wave of pleasure. The brunette smirked and kept stroking him. Good it felt so good ! How could a handjob feel this good ! The older man kissed his neck, over and over again. He would probably need to wear a turtleneck tomorrow, which was a fashion nightmare, but right now he couldn’t care less. When all the skin felt tender, Marshall started biting his nipples again, more aggressively this time. Things were starting to get blurry...he wouldn’t last very long ! 

“If you keep doing this i’m gonna come right away !” He said, tapping on his shoulders.   
The older man loosed his grip on Kell’s erection. “M’Sorry !” He said lightly kissing him.   
“I’m a bit hyped up !” He jiggled trying to catch his breath. Kissing the brunette back.   
He was no pillow princess ! There is no way he would just lie there and do nothing !   
He awkwardly rolled on top of Marshall, admiring the perfect body in front of him.   
“What are you doing ?” Em asked, obviously amused.   
The blon rapper kissed his collarbone, then stomach, eyes glued to the glorious erection.   
“I wanna suck your dick !” He said, trying to go down on him. The older man gently grabbed his head. “Do you have any idea of what you are doing ?” He asked. Kell’s nod.   
“I know how I like to get my dick sucked and I've always heard that I’m goog with my mouth..so...if it’s no good just act like it is !” He said kissing his hips.   
“Pretty sure it would be” He said lying down. 

Kelly moved his head and licked a slow, tortuous streak up the length of Marshall hard cock.   
The man immediately moaned, making Colson smirked. He kept slowly liking it, feeling two hands running through his hair. Without a warning he took as much of the length he could, trying to be really careful with his teeth. He could feel the man using every bit of will power he had to not thrust his hips, tightening his grip. Christ ! He was so turned on ! He could swear he would be able to come with just that ! He kept sucking trying to remember what kinda tongue movement worked for him. Sometimes taking a glimpse at the older man face : eyes closed, mouth slightly open,very quietly moaning. Fuck...he was the luckiest guys on earth !

He kept sucking on it for several minutes, he thought about making the man come and then stroke himself but...nan he had other plans ! 

He slowly gets up, going back to Marshall’s mouth.   
“Hey there !” The man whispered, gently smiling...fuck he was so beutifull when he smiled ! Why wasn't he doing that more often ?   
“Everything’s okay ?” He asked, caressing his mouth with his thumb ?   
“Everything's super okay !” He enthusiastically said. “I was thinking you could fuck me !”  
Marshall looked at him, looking significatively more serious.   
“You sure ?” He asked. “We don't have to if you don't want it !”   
“Yeah but i really, really, really want it !”   
“Aren’t i lucky…” Em whispered kissing him again, slowly getting on top of him. 

He slowly spread the younger man’s legs, biting and kissing his tights.   
“Those damn legs...there going on for miles !”   
He quickly stopped, opening his nightstand to grab condoms and a bottle of lube.   
Generously coating his fingers with lube. Kell’s felt a bit nervous about what was going to happen. He took a deep breath, doing his best to not look anxious. The older man looked at him with concern. “Do...do you know what i’m going to do ?” He asked.   
Kelly rolled his eyes. “Come on man ! Do you think i never did anal with chicks before !   
I’m fine ! I’m more than fine ! Stop treating me like a virgin school girl !”   
The brunette giggled. “Okay…” He said. 

Marshall knelt between the open space of Colson legs, tracing a tiny circle around his opening. The younger man gasped, he didn’t expect the lube to be cold ! He felt one finger very slowly pushed inside him. It felt weird to have a foreing thing in this place but not bad nor uncomfortable. He swallowed loudly, resting his head against the pillow. Everything was fine, it was beyond fine actually ! He knew the man wouldn’t hurt him ! Nor force him to do things he didn’t want, he was safe ! 

He gave a small nod to Marshall who started to move his finger in and out.   
Fuck ! It actually felt really good ! He tried to cool himself a bit. He didn’t want to come right away ! Once the finger was sliding in and out easily, the brunette added a second one, very gently scissoring for long minutes. At the end Colson was a sobbing mess.   
“Fuckkkk...dude stop torturing me !” He mumbled, doing his best one more time to not come. “It’s pretty fun though !” The holder man said rather amused. 

How could this man have that much self control ? Wasn’t he crazy horny and desperate for release as well ? 

“I don't want to come with your fingers ! I’m ready ! I feel lose ! Now fuck me !”   
The older man nodded, looking extremely turned on. He opened the package of the condom with his theet...and Colson found that fucking out ! He quickly rolled the condom, and had a generous quantity of lube. He then moved forward, very carefully pushing his dick against the colson entrance. Passionately kissing him while doing so. 

Kelly whimpered against Marshall's mouth. It didn’t hurt all that much, but it made him feel oddly full. He closed his eyes wrapping his arms against the broad back.   
The man didn’t moved, giving the younger man some time to adjust gently caressing his chest and stomach. 

“Am i hurting you ?” He gently asked, caressing his head. He shook his head, suddenly overwhelmed by the man's tenderness. He started to jiggle, loudly.   
“What ?” Em asked, jiggling as well.   
“I’m just happy ! “ He answered with a huge smile on his face.  
“I’m ready ! Move now ! I want to feel you !”

Marshall lifted his legs, then moved his hips making sure Kell’s was reacting well to it.   
“Fuuuuuuuck !” He whispered, scratching the older man’s back. It felt so good !   
He was completely filled, almost ripped ! But in the best way possible, waves of pleasure   
rushing like crazy through his spine. The man kept moving slowly,very slowly, almost like he was searching for somethi...

“Ah !!!’ Mother fucking God !!!!” 

He violently arched his back, as everything became blurry...where was he again ? What was happening again ? Was he high ? 

“Found it…” Em said with a mischievous smirk before pounding into the man much more aggressively, always hitting that strange spot that made Colson crazy.  
“Yes ! Fuck...ah...there...good !” 

Christ ! The pleasure was so mind blowing that he wasn’t able to talk anymore ! He kinda suspected the sex with the brunette to be good ! But this much ?!   
All of his emotion’s came exploding out of him as he began babbling incoherently against Em’s neck, completely surrendering himself over this crazy feeling of bliss. He could hear Marshall quietly moaning against his heart as he started pulling the younger man's hair. The blond musician felt surrounded inside and out...and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of his life so far. 

They kissed agrily, ravaging each other's mouths. Looking at each other in the eyes like two mad men’s. “Are...ah...fuck ! Are you feeling good ?” Colson hardly said, feeling that he could come anytime soon. “Yes ! You feel so fucking good ! ...So good…” He answered, face distorted by pleasure. 

At one point the younger man loses all sense of time, having a hard time to keep his eyes open, shaking angrily. Probably understanding that it was almost it, Marshall wrapped his hand against Colson hard on stroking it aggressively while making sure he kept hitting that sweet spot. 

“Yeah...come for me...come for me babe…”

And that was it ! He lost it ! Completely blown away, almost passing out from pleasure.   
He came loudly, shooting hot semen against the older man’s stomach. Panting heavily.   
Almost absent he saw the older man pulling it out, taking out the condom, and angrily stroking himself, coming almost immediately in a small grunt against Kelly's tight, before   
falling in top of him. 

They both pant heavily for a couple of minutes, feeling heavy and drained by so much pleasure. When his breath finally became less erratic, Colson gently stroked Marshall’s hair.   
Enjoying the afterglow. The older man looked at him with a small smile,giving him butterfly kisses, before standing up, and going throught the bathroom. 

Kell’s didn’t have the time to feel sad to be left alone, or to overthink why the man was living,as he came right away with a wet towel.   
“Sorry…” He said. “I just hate the feeling of dry cum.”   
He gently whipe the younger man stomach and thighs, making him hummed with pleasure.   
He lied down next to him, gently patting his head. 

The blond musician looked at him with a big smile.   
“This was so good ! I can’t remember the last time i came like this !”   
Marshall laughs, smiling again. “And you can smile ! Who thought Eminem had other emotions than angry and grumpy !”   
“Shut up !” He said, keeping laughing. 

They kept holding each other. Colson thought he was in the mood for silly jokes, but he suddenly felt crazy tired,lack of sleep striking back. Em seemed quite tired as well.   
The man did run for god knows how long after all ! 

Both feeling dozy and holding each other : for the first time in month Colson felt in a peaceful and deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They did it !   
> Remenber kid's if you want to bang someone make sure this person is fully cappable of giving his consent. 
> 
> D'ont hesitate if you have any suggestion's for the future of those two dorks adventures !   
> Much love for all of you !


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back ! Back again !   
> This chapter is a bit more cheerful, gotta give the boys a break ! I hope you will all like it thought !
> 
> Also one of you mentionned my poor writting skills, i acknowledge they are quite mediocre but for my defense i'm a french girl who basicly learned english on her on and never went to any english speaking country (you girl is broke)  
> will do my best in the future anyway !
> 
> That being said ! You guys have fun :)

Marshall woke up feeling groggy. He painfully stretched his arms, trying to focus on other things than his awful headache. He was on the verge of getting ready for his morning workout, as he remembered that it was not six in the morning and that he already spent four hours running like a dumbass a couple of hours forward.

Fuck ! He hated sleeping in the middle of the day ! That shit always made him grumpy !  
He sighs, looking at the man on his bed, all wrapped up around him like some giant ass Koala, slightly snorting. And just like that he didn’t feel grumpy anymore. 

He smiled a bit stroking his hair. He was really cute when he was sleeping. He couldn’t remenber the last time he shared his bed with soemone, usually when sex was done he just put his clothes back on and called a cab for the lady. (Unless she really insisted on spending the night, but considering his taste for busy chicks who only want quick fun it rarely happened). It didn’t feelt as bad as he thought, it actually felt nice to wake up next to a face and not some cold empty sheets. 

He gently kissed him on the forehead, being careful to not wake him up. His neck was all purple...maybe he had been a bit too thrilled. But for his defense, the sex had been so good !  
Colson gave spectacular head ! Which was quite frightening considering he never had a dick in his mouth before...and he was so fucking cute ! He almost melted with the man's enthusiasm and how vividly he wanted it. How vividly he wanted him...It made him feel desirable...almost loved...That shit felt pretty good !

He still couldn’t believe he fucked the dude ! He had fantasized about it well enough   
but he really didn’t thought he would end up doing it for rea ! The experience had been beyond anything he imagined. Now he could understand why some people were that much into youngsters ! And he was gross for thinking about that ! Albeit he never thought he would be thrilled at the idea of being somebody’s first...having that sort of responsibility usually just gave him massive anxiety. But right now...he just felt privileged, lucky to have someone this damn adorable in his bed ! Fuck...he wanted to cuddle now ! 

He thought about waking him up for a bit, but the younger man seemed fat asleep and considering the probably terrible night he had spent the last few days he did deserve some rest and since he didn’t feel like laying there for hours he just hopped into the shower. 

He hoped Colson wouldn’t feel too bad when he woke up in an empty bed, he didn’t want him to believe he was just used then thrown away...maybe he should bring him something to eat to make it up ! They could have so giant ass brunch and whazet was he talking about ? The dude was not some needy cheeks and they weren’t a married couple so why in heart was he caring this much ! 

He thought about his sleeping face again and couldn’t help but slightly smile. Come on ! It was the first time he slept with a man the least he could do is be a little bit nice ! Besides the man was crashing at his place it’s not like he could ignore him !

He headed up in his kitchen in a surprisingly good mood...he was usually in an awful state when he woke up this late but hey ! He wasn’t gonna complain about not feeling like he could murder half of the people on this planet. He made himself a giant smothie full of greens and protein, he wasn’t particulary hungry or anything but after a four hour run (and some senseless fuck) he needed to put something in his system. 

His phone buzzed loudly, the rapper rolled his eyes and sihg. Was it Dre again ?   
Cause if it was he was fucked ! He didn’t want to lie to his buddy but he also didn’t want to be the source of shitty jokes for the next five years. He looked at his phone. 

Oh ! It was Elton ! Nevermind ! 

“Sup’ Dude !” He mumbled, siping on his smoothie.   
“Marshall my sweet Darling ! How are you !” Said an enthusiastic voice.   
“I’m tired ! But apart from that i guess i’m fine !”   
“Of course you're not fine !” Elton replied. “You can tell me gorgeous ! Is your heart empty? Do you feel like the world is going to collapse ? How many angry songs have you written in a desperate attempt to fill the void ?” 

Fuuuuck ! It's true ! He called Elton in a desperate attempt to do something with his feelings for Kell’s ! Christ ! Why hand’t he keept his fucking mouth shut ! 

“Don't worry things are fine !” He said, hoping it would be enough.   
“Of course not ! You're all crazy about this boy ! And sad and confused ! You were all panicked just a couple of days ago !” 

Of course it was not enough ! It was Elton ! He rolled his eyes feeling exhausted already. 

“I appreciate your concern dude but things are kinda solved”  
“What do you mean things are solved ? You were all desperate just a couple of days ago !”   
“For fuck sake Elton...it’s not that big of a deal ! And I never were all desperate so…”  
“OHHH ! Sweet Jesus Fuck ! Bitch you did not ??!” Elton suddenly screamed.   
“What ?”   
“You fucked him !” 

Marshall didn’t say anything he just cupped his head with his hand aggressively blushing.   
Was that shit this obvious ? Good he felt like burying himself ! 

“You really did ! My God ! Honey ! I’m so happy for you !”   
“Seriously man ! What’s the point of calling you if you're just as much into gossip than Dre !”   
The older man laughed. “Oh Darling ! I’m even more into gossip than Dre !” 

The brunette sighed even more...he really had fucked up friends ! 

“Sooo sweetie tell me was it any good ?”   
“It was fine i guess…” The rapper whispered, not wanting to be heard by Maria.   
“Oh come on ! You can’t just tell me that ! Give me more details !! How does he look without any clothes on ? For what I saw in “Rap Devil” he didn’t look bat at all !”   
“You don't need any more details !” Em said angrily, starting to get really annoyed.   
“Come on ! Since when did you turn that much into a prude ? There’s nothing to be ashamed of you silly lover boy ! Do you want me to give some details about my last night with my husband so you’ll feel more at ease ?”   
“NO! PLEASE DON'T” 

Christ ! The last thing he wanted to imagine was Elton in all four begging to be fucked.   
Shit...now this image was stuck in his brain...and nothing could ever get it out. Sometimes he hated his life…

“It was dope okay ! He can do good shit with his mouth ! And I rarely saw someone being this enthusiastic ! Also he is quite funny to tease…”   
“Oh ! I would like to say i’m jealous, but my husband is looking at me with big eyes ! D’ont worry David you’ll always be the love of my life !” 

Marshall facepalmed, exasperated...so David knew...great fucking knews ! Coulnd’t he write that shit on the ceiling as weel so everyone could know ?

“Are you done ?”   
“I’m sorry Marshall, i’m just a little bit over enthusiast ! I’m so happy for you ! I knew you’ll found someone right for you !” 

The rapper swallowed thickly, forcing himself to not raise is voice. 

“Stop projecting you soulemate bullshit on me ! I’m never gonna get a fancy ass weeding and you wont ever get the chance to offer me a wirder gift !” 

Those diamond incrusted cock rings were the best idea he ever had and damn worth the ridiculous amount it cost him ! He won’t ever let Elton gave him something cooler thant that.   
Also he would probably die alone so what was the deal anyway ? 

“Okay bro...i would love to stay here and listen to your lovey dovey’s but i…”  
“But you want to got back to you’r new boyfriend i get it ! Bye my love ! I’ll know you have less free time know that you are taken but call me from time to time ! Love you !”   
“He is not my boyfriend !” 

To late ! Elton was already gone ! Probably screaming “he fucked the kid !” everywhere ! 

What was wrong with this guy ? Did he was this ridiculosly passionate with every guy he ever slept with ? Cause if it was the case half of old gay LA was probably heatbroken at the moment ! How could he be this cheerful about a relationship that wasn’t even there !   
Now that he thought about it...what kind of relationship he had with Colson ?   
Was it a “casual no big deal let’s be bro’s” thing like with all the girls, except he had a dick ?  
No...the chicks he fucked didn’t crash at his place and while he always got along with them he never felt like wanting to spend much time together. He never felt that truthful to let them read stuff he wrote and he never was that frightened at the mere idea of hurting them. 

Okay ! He already knew he had something for the man, but who never feels for someone especially when he is going through the same shit as you ? But now that he fucked him, what was he supposed to do ? Or feel ? Argh !

He grunt heavily, feeling pretty mad at himself. Why was he so bad at this ! How could he break speed world records on rap but not understand the most basic human interactions ? 

He sat down on his kitchen floor staring at his smoothie...he really shouldn’t overthink all that shit ! Last time he did that he runned for a stupid amout of time, just to be confronted right away. Let’s do the dishes instead ! It’s not like he had housekeepers or two expensive dishwashers ! Right now he should focus on normality and not get annoyed by Elton or Dre’s love for the drama. Those two were just bored weirdo’s in need of distraction no one was interested in spreading trivial persona…

“I FUCKED MARSHALL MATHERS !!!!” 

He startled, almost dropping his drink. Why was Colson screaming with all his lungs? He climbed the stairs, seeing the younger man through the half-opened door lying on the bed fully naked, his phone on his hand. Was he making a goodman call to scream this shit ? For fuck sake ! Why was everybody so weird !. 

He thought about interfering in the room and yelled at him for talking about such personal details, but he found himself rather curious, so he just hid himself in a corner...from there he had a really nice view of his ass…

He would just listen to him for a bit and then get angry ! 

“Bro...i thought things were complicated with the man ?” 

Did Colson let the loud speakers on purpose ? How could he be this careless ? Unless Maria was in the basement there is now way she couldn't hear him ! 

“I know ! They were ! But then i was like “fuck you, i’m not a baby, i know what i want ! now can we fuck ! And that kinda worked !” 

Did he really happen like this ? He thought they had so much more of a serious conversation…

“Well that’s really cool dude ! I’m super happy for you ! How was it ! Tell me !” 

Again ? Why does everybody wanted to know how good it was ! It was none of their business ! But Kelly would probably be annoyed as he w…

“It was awesome ! It was more than awesome ! At one point i almost forgot who and where i was because of how good it was !” 

Oooh... Of course ! Yup ! The dude was not embarrassed one bit ! Although...did he just say he almost passed out from pleasure ? That was as flattering as it could be ! 

“And the guy is so ripped ! It’s like having sex with a fit girl but who took an absurd amount of steroids and have a beard and a dick !”   
“Okay ! So not a fit girl at all”   
“Yeah...maybe not !” 

Okay that one was pretty funny ! Could he use that in a song ? How many syllables could he use to make rhymes with “fit girl” ? 

“I want the details bro ! How does that shit happen ? When ? Were ?” 

Was Colson going to talk about this ? Talking about the people you slept with is one thing but sharing all the graphic details…

“So we started making out a little bit in the kitchen ! And he always gave the best kisses there tender and rough at the same time ! It makes me feel like a princess but a very mainly one, you know what I mean ?”   
“No but mainly princesses definitely suit you ! Keep going” 

He was stupid for thinking he would kept his mouth shut...also mainly princess did suit him quite well. 

“Then we are going in his room, he is pinning me at every wall, i feel like i’m the star of a fancy ass porn, i’m horny ass hell ! We go in his room, and he is like “are you sure ! we won’t do anything you don't want’   
“All the shit you never ask too the girls you bang ashoole”

So the cute blond head was a fuckboy ? Em couldn’t say he was surprised. 

“I know...it actually feels really nice ! It makes you feel cared for ! Anyway ! We keep making out he tease me like mad, my neck is fucking blue I Also i didn’t knew nipples were a sensitive spot but they are ! Ask you girl to lick your nipples !”  
“I d’on feel anything on my niples dude ! Which kinda suck !”   
“Too bad.. and at one point i try to suck his dick…”  
“Oh wait ! Question one : how does it feel compared to a vagina ? And question two   
how does Eminem dick look like i wanna know !” 

He swear ! If this little fucker opened his mouth he was going to kill him ! 

“It’s thicker and bitter I'll say...but at the end of the day it’s skin and skin...and I seemed to do a pretty decent job so I'm really pleased ! Also he has a really nice cock ! Almost porn looking ! It's bigger than mine ! That makes me super mad !”

Okay he said he had a big dick, his dumb ego was flattered, he was going to stay there.   
Christ he really was not better than Dre or Elton… 

“Yeah ! I’m not that surprised ! For god knows what all the people that used to be scrawny white kids have big dicks !”   
“And you get this information from…?”  
“My own dick !’

Fuck ! Who was this dude he was talking to ? He was pretty funny ! 

“Pretty sure your dick is not that big you fucker ! Anyway ! I ask him to fuck me cause i’m really horny and i d’ont want to come stroking myslef and sucking him off. Then he does that cool shit ! You know the one that i never get right ?”   
“Ripping the condom with your teeth ?”   
“Yeah ! I always tear the condom, or have something stuck in my teeth. I never get that shit!”  
“I've never been able to do that stuff either ! Is that hot to witness ?”  
“Bro it's so hot ! Also you have to try anal someday it was...it was..i d’ont have any words ! It was crazy fucking good !” 

Oh ! His ego was really really really flattered now ! 

“Didn’t that hurt though ? Every person I heard told me about the pain ?”   
“It doesn’t really hurt, but it’s a bit weird at first ! I guess it depen’s on who’s doing it...thinking about it think i know why chicks never like to do anal with me...i really didn’t have the technique…”

Em had to strangle a laugh...yeah definitely a fuckboy ! 

“Like did you knew that if you want to make sure it goes in well you have to stretch that shit for like fifteen minutes and use and absurd quantity of lube ?”   
“No...but now that talk about it kinda makes sense...Okay can I ask you a weird question ?”   
“Go on buddy ! Be my guest !”   
“What kinda sound does this guy make ? Cause he is always so serious all the time !   
Does he make like high pitched moans, or some weird animalistic grunts, or is like completely silent and just poker face during all the stuff ?”  
“Hmm...not the most vocal for sure but…”

Okay that was enough ! He could hear someone bragging about his dick, but not someone describing how his moans sound ! He stood up and loudly opened the door looking at the younger man with dark eyes. He blankly stared at him, mout half opened for a couple of seconds, not daring to move. 

“Bro ? What’s wrong ! He is in the room looking like he is gonna beat the shit out of you ?”   
His friend jokingly asked, probably not knowing it was kinda what was happening.

Since Colson didn’t say anything and kept staring at the older men with big eyes, Marshall just grabbed his phone. 

“He’ll call you back !”  
“Oh my god ! What the f…”

He hung out the phone before giving it back to the blond rapper. Who tried to make an awkward smile. 

“Please don't kill me...my buddy would witness against you !” 

Em smirked, rather amused. “Don't worry I'm used to murdering people so everything would be alright ! I’ll just bury you in my backyard and no one will know !”   
The man immediately looked less tense, sighing in relief as he saw that no one was really angry. It was kinda funny to watch ! 

“So...how much of our conversation have you heard !”   
“ Everything since “I fucked Marshall Matters !” 

Kell’s was flushed red, hiding his face with both of his hands, laughing nervously.   
God ! It was so cute ! It wasn’t fair ! How could he stay mad if he made faces like those ? 

“I really want to die now ! Can’t you bury me for real ?”   
“Dude ! If you didn’t wanted me to hear it you shouldn’t scream with all your lungs and put your phone on loud speakers ! Pretty sure Maria heard half of tha shit as well !”   
“I...i woke up and you weren’t there so i asumed you went out...and...and...Fuck i thaught i was all alone ! And since i was in a really good mood…”  
“You decide to call you’r buddy to give every sex details !”  
“I’m sorry...I praised you like mad though !” 

Marshall laughed a bit, sitting next to Colson. 

“Yes ! Iv’also learned that you’r pretty bad at anal and treating girl deccentely you fuckboy !”   
“Like you never used you’r fame to have plenty of chicks in your bed ?”  
“A bit at first but it always made me uncomfortable and nervous…”  
“Wow...So Eminem is actually woke ! Big surprise…”  
“Oh shut up !” He said climbing on top of the blond rapper, aggressively kissing him.   
Immediately feeling all warm and fuzzy. The dude gave messy kisses ! So why was he melting like that ? Oh ! And who cared ! It felt so bloody good ! They kept kissing for several minutes, before the younger men gently pushed him back. 

“I need hair !” He whimpered, shyly smiling. The brunette let himself fall next to him, running one of his hands through his hair. 

“Britanny Murphy really didn’t lie…”  
“What ?” He asked, smiling a bit.   
“Britanny Murphy ! She said in an interview for 8miles that you were a great kisser !”   
“How does it come that you know so much weird shit…”  
“Because i was horny and curious about you the second i meet you”

Okay know his ego was really really super duper flattered, he really need to calm himself down otherwise he would turn himself into a pretentious dick. He felt Colson wrapping himself around him, looking at him right in the eyes. 

“So…” He whispered shyly. “Was it like one shot ?”  
“Dude come on ! Of course it wasn’t one shot !” 

How could he ! One night stands sucked to begin with ! And the younger man was such an adorable guy ! There is no way he could get enough with just one fuck where he was rather nervous and afraid of hurting him...Oh...but maybe Colson felt like it was one shot ?

“I mean...it doesn’t have to be if you don't want to !”   
He looked at him, making a funny face, before giving him a light kiss, with a big smile full of teeth. “Are you kidding ! You heard me talking about how good it was ! Do you really think I want to sit there and dream about it for the rest of my life while I could get more of it ?” 

Em did his best to not look too reassured,slowly hugging him.  
“Okay…” He whispered biting his earlobe, the younger man made a barely audible moan.   
“Are you sore or hurt anywhere ?” He asked, taking a glimpse at his neck.   
“I’m sore all over ! But it’s mostly me missing the drugs ! And I am starving ! Those pop tarts did nothing to keep me full !”   
“Obviously ! Who ever felt full stuffing plain sugar in his mouth !”   
“Thanks for the nutritional advice Dr. Matters ! I would make sure I know that next time I eat my emotional distress !” 

The brunette rolled his eyes, and hugged him a little closer, he was all sweaty but it feels way too good for him to care. “So…” He said caressing his check.   
“How about you take a shower, then we order pizza and watch another of those weird movies my daughter wants me to see ?” 

Colson eyes immediately sparkle. Yup ! Pizza was the solver of any problem !   
“Okay but i want a pizza with a pile of cheese and pineapples !”   
“You put fucking pinaples on you’r pizza ?”   
“What’s wrong with that ? Some people have nutella pizza !”   
“That’s super weird dude ! Pineapple doesn't taste good anyway !”   
“You drink kale juice and enjoy virgin bloody mary ! Don't tell me anything about taste !”   
“Alright ! Order you’r pizza with fucking pinnaples ! If this was a way to make sure i won’t steal a slice i definitely work !” 

The blond musician laughed hard, kissing him again. He was so cheerful ! It was really nice to see ! Especially after the past couple of days where he was nothing but exhausted and depressed. 

“Want to shower with me ?” He asked with a mischievous glaire.   
“I've already showered !” Marshall mumble.   
“I know...you smell like soap...but i wasn’t thinking about us just showering you know”  
He whispered, biting his neck. The older man grunt, feeling like he was getting hard already.   
Good ! He was acting like an hormonal teen !   
“You really think i’m going to say no ?” He asked gently, pulling his hair. 

They both hopped in the shower all heated up, kissing vigorously. The older man did his best to not bite him on the neck again, it was enough of a mess already. Colson immediately tried to jerk both of them off. But he didn’t let him,gripping both of his wrists with one hand, pinching his nipples with the other, covering his body with small bites and kisses, making the younger one whimpered in both pleasure and frustration. Which was really entertaining to watch. 

“Fuuuuck...are you planning to kill me or something ?”  
“Far from it…” 

After a couple of minutes the brunette felt too aroused to bear it any longer, so he let Colson grab both of their dicks and jerk them off, as they kissed and kissed again, only stopping a quick seconds when they needed to breathe. They came pretty quickly, relieving days of sexual tension, panting heavily against each other, as the water kept running down.   
Washing their cum immediately. After a couple of minutes, when it felt like they were both coming to their sense again, Colson started singing. 

“All my sins,need only water to wash it over me…”  
The older man laughed. “Why are you singing one of my songs ?”  
“I just thought this verse went really well with the situation !”   
“You're a weird guy !” Em said laughing   
“Like you aren’t !” Colson said rather amused. 

They ordered pizza and sat down watching a french movie named Martyr. The story of a group of sociopaths who kidnaped young girls to tortured them in order to know what after life looked like or some shit. Em really didn’t get what his daughter liked in that sort of movies.   
At one point the younger man just let his head fall on his lap, lazily watching the screen.   
“Not only this movie is fucking weird ! But the quality is for shit !”  
“I know ! I really don't get what my daughter likes in those !”   
“When is she supposed to be back again ?”  
“In three days…”

It was the first time in his life Marshall didn't feel all happy with the idea of having his daughter back. Sure he loved her madly, beyond every word...but he also wouldn’t mind having a couple more days alone with Colson… 

He felt the blond man wrapping his arms around his waist, humming with ease.   
“Kay... i won't let you leave the bedroom until then !”   
“Oh...so you only want to have sex in the bedroom ?” 

Kell looked at him with playful eyes. “It depends do you want to share any kink’s ?” 

Oh...there were plenty of things he could think of right now, but maybe it was a bit too soon to expose the man to all of that. He hadn't slept with another man since yesterday after all.   
He rubbed his hand through his hair, laughing a little bit. 

“Maybe not today !”   
“Come on ! If you don't tell me i’m gonna guess ! I’m pretty good at guessing other’s people kink’s !” He said, sliding his hand under his shirt.   
“Oh yeah ? Wanna play guess that kink ? ” The older rapper asked, really not caring about the movie anymore. Colson looked at him with a big smile…  
“Don't make fun of me ! I swear i’m good at it ! Like Young M.A for example ! I’m pretty sure she only have sex with her strap on and fuck bitches with huge teets !”   
“That’s not you guessing her kink’s ! This is just you looking at her clips !”   
“Kay ! So...Emma Watson ! She is too perfect. It's fishy ! I’m pretty sure she is crazy nasty in bed ! Like into heavy bdsm shit where she tied people up with tons of rope and whipped them till they bleed before peeing on their wounds !” 

Em twisted his mouth with disgust. Yeah he didn’t want to have this image in his head...ah ! Too late ! Another atrocity stuck in his brain ! Wonderfull ! 

“Okay ! Okay I believe you ! Please stop !”   
“You ! You ! I’m pretty sure i could guess what you like !” Kelly said clearly not listening.   
Marshall rolled his eyes, not knowing if he should be amused or annoyed.   
“And what do i like ! Tell me !” He asked rather curiously.   
Colson looked at him for a couple of seconds. “Mhhh...you like handcuffing people and biting them ! Also I'm pretty sure you are into some sort of soft bdsm roleplay but you're super annoying about it, like asking 9 times if it’s okay and never feeling confident enough to actually do it...aaaand you like lingerie ?” 

He lifted an eyebrow...shit ! He was actually good at it ! 

“You almost get it right !” He said. “And their is nothing wrong with asking if people are okay with sex stuff you damn brat !”   
“Where was I wrong ?” Colson asked, looking genuinely interested.   
“I’m not that much of a fan of lingerie...but i really like nice rope play tho…”  
“Oooh ! Like those shibari things ?”   
“Yeah ! Exactly that !” Em said, thinking about what Colson could look like all tied up.   
“Fuck ! Tell me you will do that with me !”   
Okay now the movie didn’t serve any purpose at all. “Only if you're good !” He whispered, slightly aroused. Colson seemed heated up as weel. 

“And you what do you like ? Cause i’m really bad at geussing people kink’s !”   
“Oh fuck ! I like feets ! I like hands ! I like to bite, to be bitten, i like to tie people up, i like to be tied up, i like sex toys, any fucking kind of sex toys, i like to have sex while drunk, while high, i like to do that in the shower, on the floor,on a kitchen couter, i like to spank, to be spanked,i like pretty much any kind of roleplay, i like threesome, foursomes…”  
“Okay i get it ! I get it !” Marshall said, a bit ovherlmed, it was the first time he had to deal with someone this kinky...and he thaught he was the one who liked sex !

“Yeah...i pretty much like sex…Also i really like tall girls with big boobs”  
The older man had to strangle a laugh.   
“Great fuckin knews ! I d’ont know if you figured...but i’m not tall and i d’ont have boobs !”   
Kelly put both of his hands on his chest, squizing it.  
“Mhh you have nice chest muscles it’s almost the same !” So...Mr.Matters…” He whispered bitting his earlobe. “Do you really want to watch this movie ? Or can we stop acting like we care if this girl is gonna die and makeout on this coutch ! ” 

He was about to kiss him, thinking about all the nasty thinks they could do, when he heard the front door creak, a young girl hopping in. 

“Hye Dad !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo ! What should happen with Em daughter being there ? Cause i see a lot of fanfic were they mention the childrens but fore some weird reason they are just not their...also the idea of both of those trying to hide is quite funny ? No it's just me ? 
> 
> What kinda smexy things should they start with ? ;) 
> 
> Also did you guys knew that Em really did offered Elton diamond incrusted cock rings for his wedding ? That's the best gift ever !


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduce us Withney and his a bit heavier than ther other one. As it centered around Colson who has a pretty chaotic mental state. 
> 
> Hope you guys like it ! Thank you again for the coments and kudos they make me very happy !

“ _ Sweetie...what are you doing here ? I thought you were supposed to stay with your mom till saturday !”  _ He said, doing his best not to look too annoyed. 

The young girl looked at him with a small sarcastic smile, rolling her eyes. 

“ _ I’m really mad with mom right now ! I couldn’t see her face anymore !” _

Em rolled his eyes as well, he sigh with exasperation. 

“ _ And why are you mad at your mom this time ?”  _

_ “She wouldn’t let my girlfriend sleep at home !!!”  _

_ “Wow...that’s the worst thing that could ever happen to you…”  _

The blond rapper felt slightly amused...so this is what the man looked like when he was on dad mode ? Interesting ! The teeneger looked at the big tv screen where the movie was still rolling, then made a big smile. 

“ _ Shit ! You're really watching my movies !”  _

_ “Language !”  _ Em automatically said. 

Kelly couldn’t help but smile...it’s true...the dude had a no swearing rule in his home !

Which was absurd knowing how much he sweared. 

“ _ Yup ! Me and your dad were completely committed ! Definitely couldn’t take our eyes off the screen !”  _ He said sarcastically, as the brunette looked at him with big angry eyes.  The young girl stared at him for a couple of seconds,making him feel rather awkward. 

“ _ Shit ! You really did it !”  _ She said with a big smile, tapping on her father's shoulder.

“ _ Whitney ! Your mouth is too pretty for you to say those words !”  _ He said hugging her lightly. 

“ _ Yeah sure ! Whatever ! I knew MGK was at your place for rehab and everything ! But it’s a whole different thing to actually witness it !”  _ She ran next to Colson with an awkward smile. 

He stood up , feeling very odd, not knowing if Marshall would be okay with him hugging her, so he just gave her a shy handshake. 

“ _ Hey Whitney ! Nice to meet you !” ( _ You seemed like a very nice girl, but I hate you very much for interupting my make out session and I'm very horny right now !) He very loudly thought ! She looked at him with a mischievous smile, almost like she heard him. 

“ _ You are really tall ! Also you're a lot less uglier than what i imagined” _

Kelly raised an eyebrow...okay so it was this kind of teen…

“ _ Thanks...i guess” ( _ I would be making very mean remarks about your acne if i wasn’t banging your dad) He taught very loudly again. 

The older man gently grabbed her by the shoulder, looking annoyed already…

“ _ Don't mind my daughter !”  _ He said staring at her. “ _ She has a big mouth !  _

Colson laughed. “ _ Yeah ! I wonder who she got that from !”  _

She immediately looked at her dad, smirking proudly 

“ _ You see ! Even the guy you dissed is on my side ! You and mom are just wrong !”  _

_ “First he dissed me first ! Second, his name is Colson ! Third, how about eating pizza while watching those very weird movies you asked me to !”  _

She loudly sat on the couch, looking at the blond rapper again. 

“ _ You know !”  _ She said grabing a slice of pinnaple pizza...fuck ! It was his fucking pizza ! 

He hated this kid ! “ _ I have to thank you for being here ! My dad never ordered pizza !”  _

Okay maybe he won’t hate her that much… 

He sat down next to her. “ _ I can’t say i’m surprised ! You're dad spent the week yelling at me every time I was grabbing a cookie !”  _ He took a quick glimpse at the man he was talking about. He was still standing, arms crossed...looking pretty mad. He knew he shouldn’t find that pretty kinky considering the fact that his daughter was here. But good he looked hot when he was angry ! 

“ _ Whitney ! We ate tacos just two weeks agos !”  _

_ “Yeah ! But those were tacos Maria made ! Not the greasy, delicious tacos from Taco Bell” _

He smirked, looking at them both with a sarcastic glaire. 

“ _ It must be so hard for you ! Eating delicious nutritious food made by Maria instead of the shitty junk i was eating when i was poor !”  _

_ “Oh come on Dad !”  _ She yelled, mouth full of pizza. “ _ Who doesn’t like to go to Mcdonalds from time to time !”  _ The blond man aggressively nood. 

“ _ Everyone likes it but your dad ! But he drinks kale juice so…” _

_ “What’s wrong with kale juice !”  _ He asks, laughing a bit. 

“ _ Everything dad ! It’s kale ! It tastes bad by definition and you make juice out of it !”  _

_ “That’s not true ! You can make wonderful salads out of it ! Kale juice is not supposed to taste good anyway ! It’s supposed to be good for you !”  _

_ “Pizza is good for me !”  _ She said taking another slice, Em’s pizza this time. 

“ _ Daaaad ! You asked for a pizza without cheese again !”  _

_ “Let me guess !”  _ The younger man said looking at the brunette 

“Cheese if full of bad stuff and yadi yada, to many calories yadi yada…” 

“ _ Pretty sure he was going to say that !” Witney  _ answered, chewing with much less enthusiasm. “ _ This dude is cool !”  _

Oh ! He was cool ? Nice ! He really felt like doing several jokes about her dad with her right now...but the man seemed pretty bothered already and the last thing he wanted was the man to be mad at him (he had way to many kinky plans for that) 

“ _ You know what Whitney ?”  _ Marshall asked, finally sitting down next to her. “ _ How about  _

_ i drive you back to your momma’s home so you could eat her wonderful cuisine ?” _

She immediately frowned. “ _ No please dad ! Mom’s food is the worst !”  _

_ “I know...i was married to her !”  _ He answered looking rather amused. “ _ You mom still cook’s ?  _

_ With all the money i gave her she could almost hire a chef !”  _

_ “I know ! I even told her god’s know’s how many times that i could do the cooking ! But nan ! _

_ Every night she’s like “i’m going to make an amazing meal this time !”  _

_ “Let me guess it tastes absolutely awful all the time ?”  _

She nodded almost aggressively. “ _ I’m being poisoned dad ! So please let me eat tacos !” _

_ “I’m sorry baby girl but the last thing I want is to see you in my 600lbs life ! So no !”  _

_ “ Come on ! Colson help me !”  _ She tapped on his shoulder, making him lightly twist his mouth. “ _ I would really like to disagree with your dad…” _

_ “You just want to disagree with me for the sake of it !”  _ He mumbled with a half-smile. 

“ _ Of course !”  _ He immediately answered, probably looking like an annoying brat. 

“ _ Buuuut...Marshall is kinda right ! Even if I eat a lot of junk I wouldn't let my daughter feed herself on Mcdonald’s !”  _ She rolled her eyes with exasperation. 

“ _ You guys are boring !”  _

_ “Yeah but i know you love me girl !”  _ The brunette said, patting her hair. 

“ _ Of course i do ! You're my dad ! Now let’s watch Martyr again ! I haven't seen it in a long time!”  _

And here they were watching this weird torture porn again...what was wrong with this chick ! 

He wouldn’t be surprised she wasn’t that much into that stuff anyway and was just acting like she was just to appear edgy...he definitely did that when he was sixteen. The girl quickly seemed  disinterested  as she showed a couple of pictures to her father instead of watching the screen. “ _ So this is me and my girlfriend when we went to the art institute !” _

_ “Oh ! Her hair looks really nice. She stopped braiding them ?”  _ Em asks, looking at her phone. 

“ _ Yup !”  _ She answered. “ _ She told me she wanted to wear her afro proudly ! And I'm happy for her you know ! But i’m also a bit mad ! I spent hours on youtube learning how to braid hair! I was able to do really stylish stuff !”  _

_ “Yeah but now it looks like you're dating Angela Davis ! And that’s kinda badass !”  _

The blond man felt his heart tighten...it was cute to see them interact and everything but too much of it reminded him of his own daughter. He himself spend a lot of time on youtube learning how to take care of black hair and make it look cute and double of this time  styling Casie’s hair. He should be doing this right now...he should be making her those ponytails she likes so much...the electronic bracelet around his ankle suddenly felt really heavy. 

_ “How would mom say it is not serious between us ! I learned how to braid her for her ! Isn't that love ?”  _ She asked, looking pretty pissed. 

“ _ Because you're sixteen Whitney…” _ His dad answered. 

“ _ And what ? You were dating mom when you were sixteen !”  _ She said. 

“ _ Yeah but as you know things didn’t end up that well between your momma and me !”  _

_ “I know...she’s had me because she cheated on you after all !”  _ She said looking at him with a sarcastic glaire, his father rolled his eyes looking both amused and hurt. 

“ _ You know things are more complicated than that ! And I love you, and raised you so it really doesn’t matter ! Family is where the heart is !”  _

_ “So Madisson, his family too !”  _ She asked, with sparkles in his eyes. 

“ _ You've been dating her for three months, slow down a little !” _

_ “Fiiiine ! ”  _ She mumbled, looking pretty angry. “ _ But it’s still serious between us !”  _

_ “It doesn't matter if it’s serious or not !”  _ His dad answered.“ _ What matters is you being happy!”  _ She looked at him with a sad smile. 

“ _ Weel...Mom surely doesn’t think that way !”  _

_ “I don't really agree with your mom's way to deal with your girlfriend…” _

_ “So she can come over !”  _ She yelled with pleading eyes, joining both of her hands. 

“ _ Sorry sweetie...mom and dad have to both agree on those things, it’s the rule !”  _

She rolled her eyes and let herself fall on the couch. 

“ _ Argh ! What’s the point of having two homes then !”  _

That’s it ! All of this was too much for Colson ! He couldn’t listen to those two happily chit chat about their lives and their love for each other when he himself wasn’t with his daughter. 

He awkwardly stood up, creepled by anxiety and sadness. “ _ I...i’m gonna let you guys have you little talk okay…”  _ He said doing his best to not look too sad, with a giant fake ass smile. 

Heading up in his room as quickly as he could. 

_ This isn’t my room !  _ He thought as he was letting himself fall on the bed. This wasn’t his room, this wasn’t his bed, this wasn’t his fucking home ! The only reason he was here and not rotting in a shitty rehab center was Em. He had forgotten that for a couple of hours… It felt good not to think he was faillure for a moment...but he was...he was the dumb  dude who thought he would be fine taking pills and coke over and over again, he was the one  who thought he was stronger than any of those others addicts, cause “he wasn’t an addict”.  How could he be this selfish...Rose was right...he was a shitty father and a shitty human being...fuck ! 

He felt heavily struck by reality...he didn’t deserve to be here ! He didn't deserve to be taken care of ! Actually he didn’t deserve anything he had ! Marshall would probably get tired and get rid of him in no time ! Pete would realize sooner or later that he was a shitty friend, Rose probably wanted him dead, his father won’t care that much either...heck even his daughter will one day realize how much of a loser his dad was. What good things could he say about him anyway ? He was an immature, selfish piece of crap, who slept with younger fan’s who could artificially boost his self esteem. He was a mediocre artist who mostly built his fame over pedophilic tweets and a shitty diss...who was he behind all of this shit ? His lyrics were poor, he didn’t had any specific identity, he named himself after a fucking gangster just to look edgy ! Fuck he wasn’t even a good person ! He lost count of how many times he acted shitty with fans,friends,managers...maybe that’s why he only saw himself dating fans...who else could stomach him ? Who on his right fucking mind would want to deal with him ? 

“ _ Are you done ?”  _ Asked a deep voice he knew pretty well. 

Fuck ! Em was there ? He didn’t hear him coming in ! He immediately hid his face, not knowing if he was crying or not. 

“ _ Aren’t you supposed to be with your daughter ?”  _ He asked, trying to sound cool and failing miserably. He felt a weight adding up to the mattress and a hand very gently running through his hair. The blond mad kept his “though” mask, hiding his face on the sheets, speaking with a deep, raspy voice. “ _ Come on man ! You shouldn’t do that when your kid is here !”  _

He tried to laugh, but the hand on his scalp made him feel too vulnerable for that. 

Marshall didn’t say anything, he just hugged him, rubbing his back with circular moves. 

And that was it ! Colson lost it,the warmth felt too real, too good for him to pretend anymore. 

He buried his face on the older man’s shirt, silently sobbing. He lost sense of time, not knowing how long he stayed like that...but he cried and cried and cried until his throat hurt and his tears had created a damp patch on the fabric of the older man’s shirt. 

For several minutes the only sound in the room was their shallow breathing. Then the brunette finally broke the silence. “ _ I know what this face look like Kell…”  _ He whispered, lightly kissing his forehead. “ _ It’s the i hate myself let’s self loathe and hate everything i ever done kinda face”.  _ For a couple of seconds the younger man just layed there, almost catatonic, then when he finally broke the silence, his voice felt rough. 

“ _ That’s specifically accurate…i don't know what went wrong...i was having a good time...then i got overwhelmed by every negative thought imaginable.”  _

Marshall kept brushed fingers through his hair and the blond rapper found himself shamefully leaning to it, soaking in every bit of comfort he could get. 

“ _ Been there ! But worse ! I could get in atrociously suicidal states when it was getting clean…and dude...i know those voices in your head feel real, i know you might really think you're worthless or undeserving of love...but this is bullshit ! This is your brain whining like the bitch he his cause he’s not having drugs ! You're a great man ! And you're doing good ok”  _

Kelly’s complete exhaustion was slowly replaced by a soft feeling of comfort…

Finally letting go of the now ruined shirt to look at the man. Looking at his face with a sad smile. “ _ Thank you…”  _ He whispered, caressing his cheek. 

“ _ ‘I’m sorry i’m making such a scene...you’r daughter seems adorable...but i just really miss Casie...and i freaked out !”  _ Em was lying on his side, nodding lightly. 

“ _ Yeah i figured...Withney wasn’t supposed to be there so soon…” _

_ “It’s okay !”  _ The younger man answered, rubbing his eyes. “ _ I just didn’t know this would affect me so much ! But really seeing you all caring and giving her the girlfriend talk...i just couldn't...it made me think, what if...what if i’m not there to do that with Casie…” _

_ “Your rehab is only two months max, and you've almost done two weeks already ! Of course you’ll be there ! Unless your girl magically hits puberty in like two days !”  _

The blond musician lightly smirked. “ _ That’s only if i d’ont fuck it up another time ! What if I take drugs again ? What if I go back to pills ? Or start another thing thinking “it’s not like coke or pills so it’s okay””?  _

The older man gave him a small glaire, a strange light in his eyes...was it sadness ?  Pity ? He didn’t know…

He stood up, landing him a jacket that was laying on the floor ? 

“ _ What’s that for ?”  _ The young rapper asked. 

“ _ We're going out...I'm taking you to an AA meeting !”  _

Colson looked at him with weird eyes, what made him think he wanted to talk to a bunch of people ? Right now the only thing he felt like doing was staring at the window and hating himself. “ _ Dude…”  _ He mumbled. “ _ I’m beat up right now...so really going to an AA meeting…” _

_ “It’s not an option !”  _ The older man said, sounding rather aggressive. “ _ I’m responsible for your rehab therefore I'll choose whether or not you are physically capable of doing something.”  _

What ? The blond musician angrily grabbed his jacket, a lump in his throat. How could he ? 

How this mother fucker could dare ! “ _ I’m not your property !”  _ He said with gritted teeth. 

He didn’t know if this was his self destructive behaviour...it probably was, but part of him hoped Marshall would get angry and start a fight. But he didn’t, he just heavily breathe, like he was doing his best to keep his cool. “ _ Of course you're not ! But right now you need to talk, not just with me, but other addicts, that are going through the same things you do and having the same fears…”  _

He swallowed thickly, getting a bit closer, being careful not to touch him. They both stare at each other for a couple of seconds, Colson was battling emotionally, but was craving human contact...Marshall’s contact so bad that he ended up grabbing his hand anyway. 

The older man held him immediately, gently kissing his knuckles. “ _ Hey…”  _ He whispered 

lightly lifting his chin with his index. “ _ I’m not doing this to punish you or whatever...but i can’t help you more than that ! You need more than a dude who has been sober for a decade, I can't help you with the irrational, paranoid fears...but AA’s can…” _

The younger man nodded slightly...putting his jacket on...God he was a mess ! Getting over the shame or showing his face in this state was a lot, but Marshall wasn’t wrong. He always felt much better when he went to AA meetings. Besides he saw people that were in a much worse state of emotional distress, they weren’t judged...where they ? 

God ! Usually when he was asking himself so many questions he just took a shot of vodka...he couldn’t do vodka but… 

“ _ Can we just grab a coffee on the road ?”  _ He asked, pressing the palm of his hand against his forehead in an attempt to shoot his headache. Em smirked then nodded. “ _ Sure ! Let’s go !”  _

  
  


After a gigantic cup of iced coffee (and loads of kisses and hugs from Marshall) The younger man already felt a lot better, the next AA meeting was in thirty minutes they just wait in the parking, as he praised those tinted windows (and the fact that paparazzi were all shoot in detroit anyway). 

“ _ So you’r daughter is a lesbian huh ?”  _ He asked, sipping on his coffee.

The brunette stared at him with a half-smile. “ _ No she’s bi...at least it’s what she’s identified as right now...she has all the time in the world to experiment anyway…”  _

Colson had a mischievous expression. “ _ Hm...is bisexuality a family trait ?” _

_ “Ha ! Ha! Ha !”  _ Marshall faked a laugh , half annoyed, half embarrassed. 

“ _ I’m not bi…”  _ He mumbled, drinking his own coffee. 

The blond musician burst into laughter...he didn’t know if he said this to lighten the mood or whatever but it definitely worked. “ _ Yeah sure !”  _ He said catching his breath. 

“ _ I mean your tongue was in my mouth literally five minutes ago, we jerked each other off  _ _ three hours forward, and your dick was in my ass this morning...but nan you're not bi !”  _

The brunette blushed, hiding himself a bit more under his hoodie, Colson could almost make fun of him if it wasn’t that freaking cute ! 

“ _ I’m...i’m a straight dude...it’s just that i can sleep with boys sometimes…”  _

_ “That’s the definition of bi ! You can’t sleep with men if you're straight !”  _

_ “Jeez ! You talk like Elton !”  _

_ “Well maybe Elton is right ! Why are you twisting your brain so much anyway !”  _

_ “Oh cause you don't !”  _ Marshall asked, cheeks lightly pink...Christ ! He really wanted to make a comment on how adorable it was but pretty sure the dude would kill him right after. 

“ _ I spent weeks twisting my brain when i was thinking about you !”  _ He answered, surprised by how chill he now was with that. “ _ I was like I'm straight ! i’m straight ! I'm straight. I like boobs, also I'm definitely not hard when this dude he's taking his shirt off while boxing ! I’m not thinking about him when i jerk off, i really d’ont want to fuck him...until i was like...bro you definitely want that shit ! And who fucking care if you do...and then everything was muuuch easier…”  _

The brunette looked at him with big eyes. “ _ You got hard watching me box !”  _

_ “Man ! You have no idea !”  _ Colson enthusiastically said “ _ I was rock hard ! I was staring at you punching, and moving and the only thing i could think of was how badly i wanted to bang you!”  _ Marshall laughed, quite hard this time. “ _ Okay...Yo ! I really didn’t know I had this much sexual power...but it makes sense when you look at me ! I’m smoking hot !”  _

The blond man buried his face in the older man’s neck. “ _ That is ironically true !”  _ The brunette let out a small grunt, as he felt the younger man tongue on his collarbone. 

“ _ And you ?”  _ He asked, enjoying the sound’s Marshall made. “ _ When was the moment you realized you wanted to fuck the dude who dissed you ?”  _

_ “Does it matter ?”  _

_ “Of course it does ! Come on ! I told you how hard I got by watching you box ! You owe me that ! Please ! Please ! Pleaaaase…”  _ He joined both of his hands, with a child-like expression. “ _ Fine ! I think i first thought about it when we were having a drink...i imagined you on your knees, mouth wrapped around my dick...and i was pretty mad at myself for that !”  _

Mhh...The blond man felt rather horny again, heart beating quite fast, mouth watering. 

“ _ Well we have…”  _ He looked at his phone. “ _ 15 minutes left...maybe i could…” _

_ “No !”  _ Em immediately said. 

“ _ Bitch ! Who on earth turn a blowjob down ?”  _ Colson asked, crossing both arms.

“ _ It’s too fucking risky !”  _ The older man answered. 

“ _ And you're not going to an AA meeting with cum all over your mouth !”  _

_ “Okay fair enough !”  _

_ “Also…”  _ The older man gently wrapped one of his hands around Kell’s neck, being careful not to have any pressure. “ _ I need to be more carefull next time...Withney’s probably wondering if you had sex with Maria !”  _

The blond man tried to picture himself doing stuff with the old lady...and it was not a pleasing experience to say the least. And knowing that someone on this planet could imagine this woman biting the integrity of his neck made him cool down real quick. He closed his eyes,  leaning his head down on the car seat. “ _ Killlll meeeeee….”  _

He heard Marshall laughing,then felt warm lips biting the cartilage of his ear.  The man whispered in a very low tone, sending shivers down his spine.  “ _ How about you sneak in my room tonight so we can do that properly ?”  _ A strong hand was squeezing one of his legs...he whimpered.  “ _ How about your daughter tho !”  _ He mumbled, grabbing the brunette by the back of his neck.  “ _ She’s all about sleeping in the basement, because it makes her feel more independent these days !”  _ He answered before kissing him eagerly, biting his lower lips. 

Colson dug his nails on the older man's shoulder as he made the kiss deeper and deeper. 

“ _ That’s not fair !”  _ He murmured running out of breath. “ _ How am i supposed to go to the AA meeting now ?”.  _ The brunette smirked, giving him a last kiss, light and gentle this time.  “ _ You’ll be fine ! Now get out of my car and go !”  _ The blond musician rolled his eyes, opening the car door with a half-smile. “ _ Oh ! Colson !”  _ Em said, gently grabbing his jacket. 

He looked at him, feeling a strange and pleasing warmth in his stomach...who even had eyes like those ! God dam ! “ _ Remember that you are worth it okay ?”  _

Kell’s nod bitting his cheeks, still not breaking eye contact...he d’ont really know how long he keep staring at the man...but it feels so nice...it feels warm, everything about Marshall is always so fucking warm...no one ever made him feel warm...at least not like that. 

It feels warm when he is with Casie, but it’s a warmth full of fear, of overwhelming love, sometimes it almost hurts...it doesn’t hurt with him...it feels peaceful, it feels safe…

He really liked that…

“ _ Come on go !”  _ He said, and with that the younger man left, feeling all dizzy and  _ happy.  _

As he sat with the others at the AA meeting, he felt beyond lucky...who could say that someone cared enough to bring them to a meeting after so patiently comforting them?  No...who could say mother fucking Eminem was the one who did all of this ?

Marshall was right...sharing his fear with other did help a lot, he apparently wasn’t the only one who was afraid of relapse and fucking up. As a young girl said. 

“ _ It’s the third time I try to get clean...I don't know if it’s going to work this time, all I know is that I will try and try till I make it ! I stopped seeing relapse as an ultimate failure…” _

He didn’t really agreed on this idea that relapse was not that big of a deal...it was THE thing he wanted to avoid, but he kinda get what she was trying to say, no one would ever get over anything if they keep pressuring themselves too much...but this shit was a lot to process especially when you're child custody depends on how clean you are. 

But he could do this ! He could do this ! He could write, sing and perform without coke !  He could be an artist without pills ! He could be him without pills ! He wasn’t fucking made of drugs ! Actually he could be a better person without that shit !  Although talking about all of his fears was hard and emotionally draining he went through it and felt oddly relieved at the end of it. Knowing that a nice car (a crazy hot dude) would be waiting for him when the meeting would be over.

“ _ I grabbed us salmond and veggie bagels !”  _ Em said when Colson headed back in his car.  Fuck ! He really was the luckiest dude ! 

Around midnight, the blond man walked on his tippy toes, as he was coming into the master bedroom. He found the brunette wearing nothing but grey sweatpants, barefoot on his bed as he was silently rapping, writing on a notebook.  Angry Em was hot...but business Em was hot as well ! He seemed so taken by what he was doing that he didn’t even notice the younger man. Colson thought he would be annoyed, cause he clearly had plans...but no. Actually looking at Marshall was rather enjoyable.  He seemed to be locked up in his own bubble, writing again and again. His heart felt tight.

After a couple of minutes, the brunette finally raised his head, noticing that he wasn't alone. 

“ _ Fuck ! You’r here ! Sorry i didn’t hear you coming in...i thought you were asleep.”  _ He said  putting his notebook on the nightstand. Kelly smirked, looking at him in the eyes. 

“ _ You asked me to sneak into your room, remember !”  _

_ “Yeah but you also went through a lot today...so maybe you were just tired !” _

_ “No one is ever tired to fuck ! Especially when they have a nice piece of meat” _

Colson whispered, as he was trying to grab the older man's waist. The brunette gave him a wird glaire. “ _ So i’m a piece of meat huh ?”  _ His voice was pretty low, was he mad ? Was he aroused ? Was he both ? He didn’t know but that shit made him horny as hell. 

“ _ Maybe...would you be mad ?”  _ By saying so he licked the older man's lips.  The brunette stared at him, an unreadable expression on his face, long enough to really make Colson wonder if he had done something wrong.  He was about to apologize when Marshall moved, so fast it caught him by guard. 

He was suddenly on top of him, straddling his waist, knocking the younger man's arms out from under him so he was flat on his back, and couldn't move much. 

“ _ You now…”  _ He whispered, biting his collarbone pretty hard. “ _ Maybe I was a bit too nice to you…”  _

Fuck...he was rock hard ! With just this ! He was going to die ! He could be good, pretty sure  he’ll come pretty quick this way ! 

“ _ Yeah...how about you show me how much of not nice you can be ?”  _

Of course ! He couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut ! 

He felt his lips ravaging his mouth eagerly,biting and biting again till they almost bled.  The older man knew Colson was running out of air, but he didn’t seem to care and keep biting and licking over and over, making him all dizzy and heated up when he finallybroke the kiss. Oh ! He seemed rather aroused as well ! That was pretty nice ! 

“ _ I really want to wreck you…” _

Yeah ! Well he really wasn’t opposed to this idea either ! 

“ _ But we need a safeword first”  _

Fuck ! This dude and respectfull sex ! ...Surprisingly it didn't make the blond musician less horny, on the contrary...knowing that Em, who was really hard against his leg, stopped doing what he was doing, just to make sure everything would be fine...that shit was driving him crazy ! He never thought the idea of safeword could be this hot

“ _ Pineapple !”  _ He mumble with a big smile 

“ _ Like those you put on pizza ?”  _ He asked smiling as well 

“ _ Exactly like those…” _

_ “Deal ! Now roll over !”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise next chapter is just straight up porn ! (But not that straight haha) So you guys drop the nasty stuff they could do ! 
> 
> Colson is an over enthousiastic brat ! Deal with it ! (Also he is really not in love) 
> 
> And safeword ! Always ! Even in the middle of something ! Fuck it if it "feels less hot/spontaneous" safeword ! 
> 
> See you soon !


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hye everyone ! Sorry i took i bit more time too upload this chapter i had a lot of work i i really didn't wanted to mess this one up ! Really hope i didn't ! 
> 
> Enjoy

“I really want to wreck you...but we need a safeword”

One thing Marshall always insisted on doing, since the very first day he learned the existence of it was using safewords. It was obviously important when he wanted to get a bit kinky while making sure the experience would go well but moreover it really helped creating a comfortable space for everyone involved. The idea that someone would trust him enough to let him do things, who trusted him to stop when they would say some specific words, it was enough to send him over the edges. 

“Deal, now roll over” 

Pineapple was fine, he sure won’t mistake it with anything else. The younger man looked at him with a smug smile, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “You know…” He whispered, not breaking eye contact. “I’m kinda bad at doing what i’m told...so i think you might use your hands if you really want me to roll over.” The rapper lift an eyebrow, half-annoyed, half-arroused. Fucking Brat...he wanted him to get rough ? He could do that. 

He grabbed him by the waist, dinging his short nail’s into the sensitive skin, forcing him to lay down with his body weight, angrily unzipping his jeans, struggling because of how tight they were. “This is the most impractical thing !” He mumbled as he was pushing on the fabric. Colson moved his legs to make it easier, strangeling a laugh. He threw the pants across the room, not really caring where they would lend. He felt two hands grabbing him by the back, Kell’s looking at him with big angry eyes, laying on the giant mattress, wearing nothing but his boxers...Em mouth was watering...Christ ! He was so goddamn beautiful ! 

He looked at all the smooth creamy skin that was exposed, before biting his collarbone  
making sure he used enough teeth, he heard the younger man whimpered. His mouth is so close, only inches away, pulled into a tight and somewhat cruel smirk, Colson tries to reach him, getting closer to get a kiss but Marshall doesn't let him do that. Pulling his hair with one hand, forcing him to stay in a specific position. He moves his head a little, opening his mouth, very lightly to licked his lower lips before immediately pulling back. 

“As i said…'' Em said, voice in a low growl, flipping him over like it was nothing, tights against his lap. “I want you to roll over”. Colson didn’t say anything back; he just let out a small moan, nodding enthusiastically. The older man took a bit of time to admire the body laying down. He had a long, slender back, half of it was so heavily inked he couldn't see the color of the skin, he started scratching it lightly, letting small red marks here and there. Listening to the barely audible moans the blond rapper made. He did that for a couple of minutes, feeling the younger man getting harder and harder with satisfaction. “You won’t be able to make me cum just rubbing my back !” He ended up saying,moving his hips in an attempt to get more friction. Marshall’s hands stopped him, making him immediately whine. 

“Is that a bet ?” He asked rather amusedly, he caressed and stroked his arse through the fabric, even if it really was one he had no plan to make the dude come with his back...he had other things in mind. He slowly pulled the black boxers down, exposing the pale flesh.  
Fuck ! Colson really had the greatest ass he saw in a while...and there was one thing he always loved to do with nice booty’s… 

“If i remember well you told me you loved getting spanked”  
“Ye...Oh fuuuuck…” 

Marshall didn’t let the younger one finish his sentence, letting his hand fall heavily against the pale globes of flesh. Leaving Colson panting and throwing against his lap.  
“Those are definitely boxer’s spank’s” He whispered with gritted teeth.  
“Was that too hard ?” He asked with concern.  
“Fuck no !! I like it hard ! It’s hot keep doing that” 

He jokingly shaked his ass while saying that making Em laugh. He quickly got back to slapping Kelly's ass, giving hard firm spanky's reddening his skin, quickly having the man screaming against the mattress, nevertheless he kept raising his ass higher and higher, begging for more. After a couple of minutes Marshall’s hand starts to feel sore and Colson is shamelessly rutting against his lap. 

“Yeah...fuck...keep doing this ! Fuck...aaah”  
He whispered and whined as the older man kept beating him raw, leaking like mad against his legs, fingers digging into the sheets. At this point he barely seems conscious anymore.“Are you...are you okay ?” Marshall’s ask, realizing that his own breath is herratic from  
arousal...Christ ! He was so focused on what he was doing that he had no idea he was himself painting heavily, a painful erection trapped in his sweatpants.  
“Yeah…my god ! Yeah ! ” The blond whispers, all dizzy. “I’m so fucking close !” 

Colson lifted his hips a bit trying to wrap his hands against his aching hard one, in a desperate attempt for release. Em watches him, not sure of what to do...the poor dude is desperate for that...but he is in a sadistic mood… He grabbed the younger man's wrist , kissing and biting his knuckles. “I never said you could touch yourself”. 

Kell’s let out a sob of both pleasure and pain. “Come on…” He whimpered.  
“I'm seconds away from...AH ! MY GOD !!” Marshall went back to spanking his now flushed red butt, wrapping his own hand around Colson’s dick.  
“I’ll do that for you…”

Quickly his hand is all sticky and wet from the precum, caught in the moment he tightened his grip, and stopped hitting the abused skin for a couple of seconds, massaging it instead, making small circles against his rim.  
“YES ! YES ! YES !” 

Colson is screaming so hard, he thanks whatever asholle who lives above the sky for his daughter’s weird tastes. There is no way she couldn’t hear that if she wasn’t sleeping in the basement. Overwhelmed by the younger man screams he leans down biting the back of his neck so hard he is almost sure at the second he does it that it would leave a bruise.That seemed to do it for Colson. His whole body is shaking as he loudly climaxes, letting out an almost animalistic grunt, plunging right into the oblivion. 

Marshall gently helped him lay down on his back, as he was painting heavily, looking like a giant sexy mess. He lied down next to him, running his hand through the younger man's hair as he slowly got his senses back together. 

“Fuck !” He mumbled, still catching his breath. “I...i don't...i don't think i ever came like this !”  
Marshall smirk, ego more flattered that ever. “Glad i could help then…”  
Colson held him, wrapping his arms against his waist, head against his chest, humming with a content smile. The older man immediately held him back. 

“Wait...you're still hard !” He suddenly said, probably feeling Marshall’s hard on against his thighs. Yeah he was...but he didn’t care all that much right now.  
“It’s fine !” He whispered, hand still buried in the younger man's hair. “I had fun…”  
“Are you kidding ! Come on ! Put your dick in my mouth !” 

The older man had to strangle a laugh...that kid really ! He kept surprising him !  
“What are you talking about ! I made a mess out of your ass...you can barely keep your eyes open !” Colon stared at him with a mischievous glaire, before grabbing his dick.  
“I have plenty of energy left don't worry…” He moved his entire body, lowering himself enough to have his face close to Marshall groin, pulling his sweatpants and boxer’s away eyes dark with desire. Not being sure if the dude really had enough strength to give a head,  
the brunette felt obligated to ask. 

“Are you sure though ? I don't m… Oh ! Little fucker !”  
Em didn’t have the time to finish his sentence as a warm wet mouth was wrapped around the tip of his aching cock. “Every time we did stuff it always feels like it’s more for me than for you ! And i don't like that shit ! What’s get me off is knowing my chicks are getting off too !” He teasingly said, giving small kitten licks. 

Christ ! He sure won’t last very long ! “I’m not your chick !” He mumbled with gritted teeth.  
Colson rubbed his pretty face down his cock with wet and red lips, provocatively staring at him “Of course you are !” Em couldn’t had anything as the warm mouth swallowed him almost completely. He heard the blond rapper choke, but that didn’t make him stop. On the contrary he kept sucking angrily, trying to take as much length as he could. 

At this point Marshall is digging his hands in the sheets in a desperate attempt to keep his hips steel. Apparently the younger man noticed it, because he stopped doing what he did with a very content and dirty smile. “I knew you were restraining yourself, first time i sucked you off…” He grabbed his hands and pulled them down his head. 

“Fuck my face !” 

So he does, overwhelmed by pleasure he starts giving strong thrust down Colson's throat who moan with pleasure as he feels his hair getting pulled harder and harder. His length glided over Colson tongue before hitting the back of his throat. There’s quickly saliva coating his chin as he choked so damn beautifully. The younger man never breaks eye contact. 

Fuck this is so obscene !! It feels like his entire body is on fire, his head buzzing like mad and what were small, quiet moans, are now low, deep grunts. He his so fucking close ! 

“I’m cuming…” He warns. 

But Colson didn't let him go, he wrapped his hands around his hips and made sure his mouth stayed there. So there he was loudly cumming all over his mouth, lips and tongue. The blond rapper immediately spits everything, twisting his mouth with disgust. 

“This taste so fucking gross ! Fuck !” He whipped his mouth with his wrist.  
“Now I get why none of my chicks like to swallow”. 

Marshall being all wrapped up in the afterglow, can’t do anything but laugh as he catches his breath. He gently grabbed Kell’s forearm, making him lie down next to him again. He looks even messier than before. He hummed with ease. 

“What ?” Em asked when he was finally able to speak again.  
“Nothing…” He answered. “I just feel high but in a very good way !” 

Back to his senses, Marshall first reflexes his check at Colson butt, it’s still cherry red, pretty sure it would leave bruises. He quickly stood up, grabbing a couple of ice cubes and a diet coke on the mini fridge. He wrapped the ice cubes in the hoodie lying down on the floor, before carefully putting them on the abused flesh. The younger man made a small gasp.

“It’s cold !”  
The brunette smirk then land’s him the can of coke.  
“For the taste !”  
“Thank you !” Colson whispers, his content expression not leaving his face.  
The older man lay back next to him, gently kissing his forehead.  
“I hope i’m not going to walk funny tomorrow…”  
“It’s possible I didn't really go easy on you !”  
“Yeah” He started giving small kisses to the man's collarbone while saying that.  
“It was awesome ! I've never been spanked this hard by a girl !”  
“And the harder the better ?”  
“Obviously !” 

He leans back, kissing him, fuck...how could a simple kiss feel this god ! 

“Your lips are all puffy !” He notices as the blond rapper pull’s back  
“Well ! I put all my heart in this blowjob !’ He says with a big smile.  
“You sure did ! Last time I was blown like this...it was...it was…”  
“Pretty sure I wasn't born yet !” 

The older man looked at him with dark eyes.  
“Are you trying to get spanked again ?”  
“Maybe…” He whisper’s with a mischievous glaire.  
“Did you have any fucking sence of self preservation ? Your ass his flushed red already !”  
He asked, amused by how silly Colson can be.  
“Not really...which is why I probably dissed you ! But you should thank me ! If i haven’t done that you wouldn’t be there ! Enjoying an amazing blowjob !”  
“Oh yeah ? Should I write a song about how good you are ?”  
“No an entire album !” 

The older man laughed again...jeez...when was the last time he laughed this much ?  
He always had a good time with his buddies, his daughter, even his chicks...but his day to day life felt much more...should he say bland ? Colson stared at him with the brightest smile.He couldn’t help but caress his cheek...the younger man immediately purred.  
Fuck...he was too damn adorable ! 

“It feels good ! Keep doing this...” He whispered as he wrapped himself around Marshal, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. “You’r always so fucking warm...i want to use you as my personnal heater…” The older man held him back...it did felt really warm. 

They both just held each other like this for a couple of minutes and when the older man thought they would feel asleep like this Colson finally spoke. “They're just one thing…”The brunette looked at him with concern. “There is no way i’m gonna be able to face Witney tomorrow !” Marshall burst into laughter...which usually NEVER happened. The blond musician kept talking with a huge smile. “Do you see myself ? Hey girl ! I’m walking like a duck cause i fucked you dad last night ! Real hard !  
He choked me with his dick ! It was absolutely amazing ! Did you know your dad had a big dick by the way !”  
“That’s fucking great !” Marshall answered. “I won’t have to see both of you team to make sassy remarks about me !” Colson smirked before giving him a kiss on the cheek.  


The brunette had a mischievous smile...yeah it was alright ! It was super alright !  
They both feel asleep all wrapped up around each other, not really minding about how sweaty they were. 

(...)

It was six in the morning when Marshall mechanically woke up as his brain reminded him that he needed to get up and workout, the usual, what wasn’t was the blond head, wrapped up arround him peacefully sleeping... fuck ! He was so pretty when he slept ! He didn’t know how long he stayed awake, just gazing at Colson...he usually hated when things were out of his routine...but he really didn’t mind getting used to that. 

He gently stood up, being careful not to wake him up, he took a quick glimpse at his ass and sighed with relief...he had a couple of small bruises here and there but it seemed overall fine. Maybe they should apply some cream but he won’t walk like a duck anyway. 

He quickly brushed his teeth, noticing in the large mirror of his bathroom that he had a couple of hickeys on his collarbone and chest...hopefully any large hoodie could cover this and he won’t have to explain them to his daughter. He went in his gym, ran his usual five miles but a lot faster than usual, lifted his usual weights trying to be as quick as he could and immediately ran upstairs, happy to find Colson still asleep. 

He climbed the bed and got on top of the younger man, kissing his cheeks and biting his earlobes. “Wake up !” The blond man whimpered, slowly opening his eyes, humming with pleasure. “Hmmm...i want to be wake up like this everyday !” 

His eyes slid closed again as he shifted a bit closer and settled his hand over Marshall’s own. “Breakfast ?” The older man asked, quite enjoying the idea of sharing his morning smoothie with someone...with Colson…

“Sure...but i wouldn’t mind having you inside me first !” The younger man said plainly, as if he was talking about the weather. Em stared at him with big eyes, before letting out an awkward laugh. “You’r fucking unbelivable !” 

Kell smiled as he turned over and pushed his ass back into Marshall’s crotch.  
“Yeah...yeah..” He mumbled, still sounding half asleep. “Fuck me now ! We’ll talk later…  
you're all sweaty that’s making me hard !” The brunette smirked as he felt he was getting hard as well. When was the last time he had this much sex in such a short amont of time ? And when was the last time he enjoyed it so freaking much ?!! 

“You know…” He whispered, biting Colson’s ear. “You kinda treat me like a sex doll and i d’ont like that…” He looked at him with defying eyes ? “Oh yeah ? Want to put me back into...hmpfh” The blond musician couldn’t finish his sentence as the brunette shoved two fingers in his mouth. “Shhh...i don't need you to talk right now…” He grabbed the back of his neck with his other hand, forcing him to stay still into the mattress. “I just need you to take it…” His ears immediately turned red as he nodded, humming with pleasure. 

He gave a couple of kisses to his shoulders before slightly moving away, grabbing the lube and the condoms. He quickly reached a slick hand down and used one finger to rub over Colson’s opening. He let out smal sights as the first finger breached him. He massaged the muscle ring for a couple of minutes, Kell’s sobbing already, trying to rub himself against the sheets. Em grabbed him by the waist both aroused and amused. 

“You don't get to do that until I say so babe…” He whispered in a low growl.  
The younger man let out a loud, pretty moan. He added another finger, scissoring them as he placed more kisses and bites to Colson back and shoulders. When it felt like he was finally loose enough he opened the condom package, the brunette heard deep breaths as the younger one waited with anticipation. His first push of his cock forced the breath the blond was holding out, he immediately reached back to pull Marshall’s hips flushed against him. 

“Yessss…” Kell’s mumbled  
Em stayed still for a couple of seconds, forehead glued to Colson’s back before finally moving, hips back then in again. He first gave some slow, deep thrust but he got quickly wrapped up in his own pleasure, moving his hips aggressively, biting the younger man over and over again. 

Kell’s was clutching into him like mad, like his life depended on it, letting out high pitched moans. He kept pounding onto him for long minutes,the blond head being louder and louder. Marshall wrapped his hand around the younger man's length, enjoying the idea of controlling his orgasms. “I’m...i’m not gonna last much longer...God…” He hardly whispered, moving his hips on his own. 

He wouldn’t last much either, he held Colson's chest with one of his arms, having their bodies tightly held together. The younger one came first, shooting his release over Marshall’s hand and onto the mattress, eyes watery and face and neck all red. The brunette gave a few more thrust before tensing up and coming as well, letting out a barely audible moan, that almost sounded like small sobs. 

They both felt heavy on the mattress,catching their breath until the brunette finally stood up, he disposed of the condom and bringed a towel cleaning up the mess. The blond head hummed with pleasure looking at him with big flirty eyes. 

“You fucked my brain out...now i’m starving !” Em stared at him, making a small smile.  
This dude really… 

(...) 

“This is so adorable of you !” Kell’s said, as he was shoving a big slice of toasted bread down his throat. Marshall frowned. “Don't call me adorable…” He mumbled sippin on his big smoothie. “But you are !” He jokingly answered. “You brought me breakfast in bed ! And there’s even things that are edible ! Like banana bread and toasts !” 

He didn’t exaclty brought him breakfeast in bed...it’s just that Colson was kind of a mess after all that sex...so he thaught that he could be a bit nice and...okay it was totally bringing him breakfast in bed...but who cared ! It’s not like he couldn’t himself enjoy having some fun with nice company ! The blond head kept talking, mouth full, biting into the banana bread like he hadn't eaten for the past five days. 

“Fuck this is the best ! I have food and I got laid !”  
“You’r pretty easy to satistfy if the only thing you need to be happy is food and sex !”  
“I d’ont just need food and sex !” He rectified, making a funny face.  
“I need music, sleep, fresh cofee, good food and very good sex…”  
He kissed Marshall while saying so, the man immediately kissed back, hands running through his hair. “I would really like to brag about how much of a great fuck i am, but i’m pretty sure you have a fucking teenager vision of sex, like you enjoy anything as long as it last more than five seconds !” 

The younger man had to strangle a laugh.  
“That’s not true ! I banged half of the chick in LA ! I know what good sex feels like…”  
“Yeah sure ! Some random fan giving you a handjob in a parking lot and you thinking it was the best thing ever because you cum in like ten seconds ?” 

This time he burst into laughter, clearly laughed, full of belly rolls.  
“That’s not true ! I’m more picky than that !” 

Em stared at him for a couple of seconds, he was so fucking beautifull when he laughed.  
Who on earth was this beautiful while laughing ? 

“What ?” Colson asked, noticing the brunette eyes on him.  
“Nothing...you just have a really nice laugh...i like it.” 

The blond head didn’t said anything, he just blushed while nervously swallowing another giant ass piece of banana bread. 

(...) 

“You don't want to be the enemy of the demon who went in me, Or being the receiving' end of me, what stupidity it'd be , Every bit of me is the epitome of a spitter, When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck, Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me  
A hunnid percent of you is a fifth of a percent of m...AHGH MOTHER FUCKING CHRIST !!” 

Marshall was starting to get really pissed...he had been trying to outfast rap his last songs for fucking hours ! And all he did was choke himself and run out of breath. He was supposed to be a master at fast rap ! Why the fuck wasn’t he able to do that. 

“Is there...is there a problem ?” Asked a deep voice he knew well.  
“What are you doing in my studio ?” Em angrily said, wondering why Colson gave himself the right to come ! He looked at him shyly, nervously playing with his hands, making the older man immediately cool himself. 

“Withney came to me, telling me something like “dad is screaming in the studio again, make him shut up...so i went there...i’m sorry if i’m bothering you...i...i can leave…”  
“No ! No ! It’s...it’s me ! I’m overreacting...sorry i’m a bit stressed !” Marshall stuttered  
regretting his behavior already. 

“Can i ask what you are doing ?” Kell asked, with a smile that made him let go right away.  
“Yeah, yeah...there's this song I wrote, and I'm trying to fast rap the last part…”  
“So what ? You’r brilliant at fast rap you have a fucking world record !”  
“Yeah...Well i’m trying to beat this record !”  
“What ?” Colson asked with a weird face. “Dude i really don't know if that’s physically possible, i mean how many god damn bars you have to spit to get there ?”  
“Around 7 worps per second...so something like 300 syllables…”  
Colson's jaw dropped open.  
“Dude ! It’s way too much ! You already rap so fast ! I don't even know how you do that !”  
“Oh ! It’s quite simple actually : first you have to memorise your lyrics so well they mechanically came at you, like you can spit it like a robot on autopilot, then you have to hold your breath for a while and put as many words as you can…”

The blond head rolled his eyes. “Sure ! And to make sure every word is pronounced well enough while forgetting the very concept of lungs !”  
The older man smirked. “Yeah kind of ! Anyway ! You being there is a good thing actually ! I don't know why I didn't tought about it sooner ! You're a rapper too after all ! You could help me...i mean...if you want to…” 

Kell’s face immediately lightened. “Are you fucking kiding ! I get to help you mother fucking Eminem ! That’s beyond my craziest teenage dreams ! What do i have to do ?”

Marshall gave him a piece of paper with the lyrics written on it and asked him to use the timer on his phone. “Jeez ! “ Colson said reading the bars “There are more words in this song than in Lil Pump’s entire discography !” The brunette laughed, feeling all plumped-up, he gave the younger man a quick kiss...no really knowing why...but did he really need a reason to kiss him...he was beyond gorgeous ! 

“Okay so ready when you are !” Colson said looking at the timer.  
He took a deep breath focusing on getting every word right, for some reason he felt much lighter than a couple of minutes ago…

“...Trigger happy, pack heat, but it's black ink, Evil half of the Bad Meets Evil  
That means take a back seat, Take it back to Fat Petes with a maxi, single  
Look at my rap sheet, what attracts these people, Is my gangster, bitch, like Apache with a catchy jingle, I stack chips, you barely got a half-eaten Cheeto, Fill 'em with the venom and eliminate 'em, Other words, I Minute Maid 'em, I don't wanna hurt 'em, but I did 'em in a fit of rage, I'm murderin' again, nobody will evade him, Finna kill 'em and dump all the fuckin' bodies in the lake, Obliterating everything, incinerate and renegade 'em, And I make anybody who want it with the pen afraid, But don't nobody want it, but they're gonna get it anyway, 'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like I'm mentally ill ,I'm Atilla, kill or be killed, I'm a killer bee, the vanilla gorilla, You're bringin' the killer within me out of me, You don't want to be the enemy of the demon who went in me,Or being the recievin' end of me, what stupidity it'd be, Every bit of me is the epitome of a spitter, When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck, Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me, A hunnid percent of you is a fifth of a percent of me, I'm 'bout to fuckin' finish you bitch, I'm unfadable, You wanna battle, I'm available, I'm blowin' up like an inflatable, I'm undebatable, I'm unavoidable, I'm unevadable I'm on the toilet bowl, I got a trailer full of money and I'm paid in full, I'm not afraid to pull the…”

He stopped, he probably didn’t make it in time but he at least didn’t run out of breath or choke himself this time. He took a glimpse at Kell’s. He was looking at him with big eyes, the hand holding his phone slightly shaking. 

“What ?” Em asked, not knowing why he was making such a face.  
“Less than thirty second ! He took you less than fucking thirthy seconds ! It’s like...it’s like...wait let me calculate that shit” He quickly tapped on his phone. “Fuck ! Marshall it’s like 7.23 words per second and 330 syllables...what...what kinda monster are you !” 

Shit ! So he really did it ? Fuck ! He just broke another world record...Good !  
He took him a couple of minutes to process this information. 

“I really did beat my world record…” He mumbled, with a satisfied glaire.  
Colson kept staring at him with a sad smile on his face, the brunette looked back at him back...was he sad ? Why ? He really didn’t like it when the dude was miserable. 

“You really are the GOAT for a reason” He whispered. Even though he heard those words quite often, it really felt warm hearing them from the younger man. He let his head fall on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist. 

“It’s really not finished though ! I have to be able to do it till it feels easy, then I have to make sure I can record it well, and perform that shit on stage, knowing that there are plenty of other bars to spit...so yeah most of the work.

“What are we waiting for then ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it was mostly Colson and Marshall doing nasty stuff (and not being in love with each other)  
> Hope you guys liked it ! 
> 
> I knew i said i would write something involving Colson in stocking, but let just gave the dude time to order them on amazon ;) 
> 
> Please give me feedback ! I'm a sucker for your comments ! 
> 
> Much love ! See you all soon !


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